Keldeo the Critic- Season Two
by Matthais Unidostres
Summary: He's Keldeo the Critic, and he's back to reviewing Pokemon Fanfiction when he's not training with the Swords of Justice. Oh don't worry, his movie is still coming, but that's FAR in the future. For now, Keldeo is going to take his time, reviewing a story or two a month while doing a few editorials, maybe. There will stiil NOT be any bashing or ranting.
1. The Review Must Go On

**The Review Must Go On**

I sat on my chair, my desk before me. On the desk sat my newly purchased laptop, fresh and clean for college. College was where I was, sitting in a college dorm room.

HUM 101 essay: done.

MATH 111 homework: done.

CHEM homework: done.

Amazing, isn't it? I actually have free time. And lots of it.

During this time, Kongregate would be my best friend. I had just beat _Level Up, _and now I was playing _Bloons Super Monkey 2. _Level 12. 69 points to level up. Too bad _Bloons Super Monkey 2 _didn't have any achievements. You think it would, being a updated sequel by Ninja Kiwi.

I sighed. The game was getting boring. I looked at my digital clock radio. 8:30 P.M. I considered playing that game the college newspaper did a story on. . ._Rouge Legacy. . ._but I had already played that for a while.

I looked around my room. It was empty besides me. My roommate's desk and bed lay empty, and the room was quiet. He had left to go home for the weekend, leaving me alone for the night and day and night.

I'm shy. No one knows that I read and write Fanfiction, let alone about Pokemon, or worse, multicolored ponies. . .

And so, as I opened up a new tab and went to Fanfiction, those thoughts mingled in my mind, and I remembered that project FictionaryMan03895 and I worked on.

I smiled. _Pokemon Reenacted by Ponies _by jjkmovies. Wasn't that a fun animation. Short, sweet, funny, and accurate. I even considered going over to YouTube and giving it another watch. I easily could, I was alone in the room. Wasn't I the Closet Brony. . .

Well, maybe that's why I liked Keldeo so much.

It was at that point that I remembered something. A story. . .a suggestion. . .but by whom? What was it called?

I quickly dived into my PM Inbox, searching for something without a single clue. Man, was that Inbox full. It needs some kind of auto delete time feature, just like the Doc Manager! Eventually I gave up and opened up to Gmail. Maybe it was in the Email Archives? Yes! I found it! Here it is:

* * *

_You have received a private message from:_

_ Name: loremaster965_  
_ Profile:_

_ Reply link: _  
_ -_

_ Subject: Keldo the crittic_

_ sorry about the last one i asked you to reveiw but can you review Fluttershy,_  
_ the Pokémon Whisperer by pete the rock_

_ Messaging Service_

* * *

So. . .that's what it was called. With a little help from Google, I jumped to the story.

* * *

_Disclaimer: No ownership of Pokémon or My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Summary: A spell from a mysterious book sends Fluttershy to the Pokémon World but that's not the only problem. Rated for mild violence. Shipping: PonyShyShipper_

* * *

_**Fluttershy, the Pokémon Whisperer**_

_Chapter 1: A Little Booking Problem_

* * *

**_One reading later. . ._**

* * *

. . .

Wow. . .

I mean, this story. . .

This was up before _Equestria Girls _was a thing! I mean, human transformation was handled just as well in this story as it was in that movie made by Hasbro!

And the characters, all good, all very good.

But still, using the Elements of Harmony on Team Rocket! Kind of overkill!

And Fluttershy, what a choice, her love of animals translates into a love of Pokemon.

Wow, that was new. . .it was. . .good job Pete the Rock. Good job. . .

Wow. . .I felt so different as I read that. I felt. . .something.

I sat in front of my laptop, deep in thought.

_"No," _I thought, _"I'm in college now, I won't have enough time to keep this up. 'Zorua Reviews' can be done quickly. 'The Angry Rated M Clone' is rarely done. I have a long term movie for Keldeo the Critic in the works. I had him go into the G-Man door at the end of Season One. I put him on a bus. The Colt Pokemon is on a reviewing Hiatus until AuraWielder's 'Conquering the Dark' is done, and that's it."_

I nodded to myself as if to make it final. . .and yet. . .something didn't seem right. . .

I soon myself Googleing Keldeo the Critic, and soon I was back at Chapter One: Purple Flowers and Chocolate Cake by Toadettegirl2012.

* * *

_It's me! Keldeo The Critic! I review Pokemon FanFiction when I'm not training with the other Swords of Justice!_

* * *

I smile, imagining Keldeo standing in the Sword's of Justice's meeting place, cool water surrounding the rock he stood on as he smiled happily while saying his tagline.

Soon I found myself skipping to Chapter 54: A Scar by Toadettegril2012.

* * *

_Yeah. . .Toadettegril2012. . .she ruled my whole Negaishipping World. Whenever I wanted to see some romance between Iris and Ash, she was the first author I went to. She wrote "Sick With No Cure", "New Year Bash", "Don't you Remember?", and "The Easter Egg Hunt". They were all so awesome. Plus, Toadettergirl was a visionary. She had the humans understand their Pokémon. It made no sense in cannon and wasn't explained, but the destruction of the language barrier made so many touching, funny, and heartfelt scenes possible. It also helped the plot to flow so amazingly._

* * *

"So what are you waiting for?" a voice said.

I turned around, my heart pounding in fright. My eyes focused on the source of the voice. There, sitting on my roommate's bed, with his legs folded beneath him, was Keldeo.

"Hmm?" Keldeo said with a smile, cocking his head at me.

I stare at him breathlessly, with my mouth hanging open in disbelief. _Keldeo_ was in my college dorm room, sitting on my roommate's bed, looking very comfortable as he sat nestled on top of the dark blue blanket.

"You know it's just a matter of time," Keldeo said.

I just stare at him, pretty much waiting for him to disappear. When he just sat there, looking at me, I finally found my voice. "

You're not real," I said "My imagination is just going a little too far. Either that or I'm dreaming."

"Maybe," Keldeo said with a shrug, "Or maybe it's like what the Nostalgia Critic once said."

I blinked, "What do you mean? What did he say?"

Keldeo smiled widely, "How a character can become so real that they cease being a character. They become ingrained in your mind, and you can't get rid of them no matter how hard you try." Keldeo leaned towards where I sat, sticking his neck out towards me, and he said, "Even to the point where they take on a life of their own."

I blinked, then I shook my head, "No. You're just the part of me who misses having all the time in world to just have fun."

Keldeo chuckled, "Oh, so now I'm the Summer Vacation Pokemon. Wow."

I sighed and said, "Look, Keldeo. I made a choice. I said I was going to put _Keldeo the Critic_ on Hiatus until next Summer for a _Conquering the Dark _review movie. I can't do anymore _Keldeo the Critic _until next Summer."

"Why? What's stopping you?" Keldeo asked.

"Keldeo, college is like your training with the Swords of Justice and learning Secret Sword. I have to focus on it. I can't shirk my work to write Fanfic reviews," I explained. . .to an Anime character that was sitting in my dorm room.

Keldeo became serious, "This isn't shirking work to goof off. This is taking your free time to have a little 'Me' time, something everyone needs to balance out a life of hard work. And not just any old 'Me' time. It's a 'Me' time that adds to the Fanfiction community, and maybe even the entire internet Pokemon fan base as well. We express our love for good Fanfics, our disappointment in the bad, and make people laugh along the way." Keldeo extended a hoof, and pointed it right at me. I couldn't help but stare into the hole beneath his hoof, wondering where his Hydro Pump came from. "I know you still have a hunger to do things like this," he said to me.

I looked back at the laptop screen, "... You went through the G-Man door, you're gone until your movie. . ."

_"Listen to yourself!"_

I turned around fast at the harshness in Keldeo's voice. Keldeo crawled on his knees to the edge of the bed and unfolded his front legs. His front hooves hit the carpet, and he pulled the rest of his body off of the bed. Now Keldeo was standing in the middle of my dorm room, giving me a frustrated look.

"You got so scared of the challenge college presented that you convinced yourself that you needed to make your mind as cold as Coballion's Steel heart. And even he's not as cold as those Pokedex programmers thought he was."

I looked Keldeo up and down, from hooves to curved horn, thinking about what Keldeo was trying to tell me right then.

"Remember?" Keldeo said, "Every single time you thought we went to far with the critique and overstepped our boundaries, we either went back and fixed it, or pressed on and made it right. But the thing is, those reviews didn't take up all of your time. All we needed was a little time to think, a little time to focus, and a little effort. But you had high school graduation, college visits, placement tests, games on Steam, other Fanfics, YouTube videos, your own life to live."

Keldeo approached me. I suddenly felt afraid. This was a Legendary Pokemon after all. I was sitting in a corner with a window nearby. I couldn't escape that way, I was on the fifth floor. Keldeo was of fair size. As I sat down in my chair, Keldeo stood eye to eye with me. I'd probably be a few inches taller than him if I were standing.

Keldeo gestured to my laptop and said, "We kept making 3 chapter reviews almost every week. Face it, Matthais. The problem is that we made them too big and too often."

I gulped and gathered up my courage. I looked Keldeo right in the eye and said, "I'm waiting for _Conquering the Dark.'_"

Keldeo actually smirked at me. "Yeah?" he said, and he leaned in close to me. His chubby round snout was touching my nose, "Then why don't you just make me go away?"

Keldeo and I stared at each other in silence. I'm sure a tense five minutes passed before I managed to come up with something to say.

"How could I make you go away. . ." I whispered, "You're responsible for the greatest Pokemon movie ever made. . ."

Then, I hugged him.

I threw my arms around his blue furry collar, the side of my head resting against my favorite Pokémon's cheek. Oh, how I wished Keldeo was catchable in Black 2 instead of only available in a limited time event.

Do you know why I like Keldeo so much? Because I saw myself in him. Legitimately. He was young, he could be clever when he tried, he wanted to be strong, he was confident in himself, he wanted to have fun, and he wanted to make others proud. And yet, unlike other Legendary Pokemon, he could be afraid, he feared failure, and there were times when he had to accept defeat. What's more, Keldeo was always positive and optimistic, and yet he wasn't an airhead. He could get upset, he could express his disapproval on something, he could feel many emotions, and he cared about others. Also, since he was a Sword of Justice, he always wanted good to win over bad. What's more, his Resolute Form showed the incredible potential he has within him. I connected with this brave, honorable Pokemon so much, and the fact that such a wonderful character who was so strong, true, good, and brave could take the shape of a _pony_ of all things just captivated me so much.

I like Lucario and Zoroark because of their power, personality, and character.

But Keldeo's strength, attitude, spirit, determination, and heart outshines them greatly.

As I hugged the Colt Pokemon, I soon felt moisture on the side of my head. So. . .we were both crying now.

I'm not sure how long we stayed like that, with my arms around Keldeo as he nuzzled me, but eventually we knew we had more pressing matters to attend to, so I let him go and Keldeo sat on his haunches to look at me.

"You've already been doing other ideas," Keldeo said nervously, shifting from hoof to hoof awkwardly.

I suddenly felt nervous itches all over me. "Well, those were quick and rare and easy to do," I said as I looked down and scratched my back.

"Maybe you just don't want to give up _Spyro and Friends _and _The Shadow of Delilah. . ._?" Keldeo suggested.

My head shot up to look at Keldeo.

Keldeo smiled, realizing that he touched a nerve, "You're clearly stumped on your LPS Movie. Zorua has been going crazy wondering where Sunil sent the villains. And as for _The Legend of Spyro and Friends, _well. . . we already know what that was this whole time. What Spyro was this whole time. You pretty much admitted it when you said that you planned on alternating Seasons of _**Spyro** and Friends_ with seasons of _**Keldeo** and the Swords of Justice. _Once again, a character you really like is hard to get away from. You dedicated so much time to our show. Making sure there was a new review every week, and sometimes the reviews were 2 or 3 chapters long! Maybe you didn't need to stop altogether, maybe you just needed to space them out. Just responsibly use your spare and piece together something new. Did that ever come into your mind?"

_"No. . .it didn't. . ." _I thought to myself, looking down at the carpet in deep thought. Could this work?

My head was lifted up by Keldeo's right hoof. We were now almost as close as we were when Keldeo challenged me to make him go away. Keldeo and I were looking at each other eye to eye once again. Keldeo put all the seriousness he had learned from Coballion to good use as he spoke to me.

"I'll tell you what. If you answer this honestly, I'll either go away until the Summer, or stop by here whenever we have the time. Tell me, right now, without any hint of distrust: Do you want to make Season 2? Do you have that same passion you had before? That passion for comedy, Fanfiction and reviewing? Do you honestly want me to come back?"

I looked into Keldeo's dark blue eyes. I could see the determination and strength which were tempered by innocence. Everything about this Pokemon was just so incredible.

"Yes," I said in answer to his question, making sure to sound as absolute and certain in my decision as possible.

Keldeo had such a big happy smile that I thought he might burst out of joy. He laughed and did a backflip, his horn almost touching the ceiling. "Then what are we waiting for?!" he said as he walked backwards and jumped back onto my roommate's bed, making himself comfortable. "We have work to do," he said, and he pointed to my bed, "Make yourself comfortable."

I smiled and walked over to my bed, grabbing a package of 2 peanut butter granola bars from the top of the nearby minifridge. I sat down on the side of the bed and looked over at Keldeo. Somehow, this didn't seem right.

"Keldeo," I said.

Keldeo blinked at me as his light blue tail swung back and forth, hanging off the side of the bed.

I smiled and patted the empty space on the bed to the left of me.

Keldeo continued to stare in confusion, but then he got and happily jumped onto my bed. I sat crosslegged near the headboard while Keldeo sat near the footboard. He looked so happy!

We stared at each other while smiling awkwardly for a minute, then I said, "Well, how about some ground rules?"

"Okay," Keldeo said with a nod.

"One to two reviews a month, tops," I said.

"Eh. . ." Keldeo said slowly, mulling it over in his head.

"Maybe every other week we can do an editorial on an author or something from the Anime or games," I said as I pulled open the packaging of the granola bars, "I'm still in college and I'm not going to have as much free time as you think, so I need to pace myself with these reviews. Think of it this way, the well of reviewable Fanfics won't run dry."

I took one of the bars out and held it our to Keldeo. He sighed and said, "So be it." Keldeo grabbed the bar with his mouth and munched on it. "Mm, mm, delicious! Anyway, here's rule two, no more word per chapter limits."

"What?" I said in confusion.

"I want to review for as long as I want," Keldeo said, holding his head up high.

"Do you want to review a 5 chapter story in one shot?" I asked in concern.

"No," Keldeo said as if it were obvious, "But having to publish reviews and parts and create all those commercials and dramatic skits and comedy skits just adds more work to it and requires too much time. And besides, if you publish the review all at once, then that means you can take your time putting the review together and editing it at your leisure without having to worry about keeping the readers waiting."

I nodded in understanding, "Yeah, you're right about that." I took a bite out of my granola bar.

"And also," Keldeo said with a sheepish smile, "Um. . .two things actually. First, let's put the G-Man imitations to rest after this, cause I don't like doing them, cause I'm just not like that at all. And Second, we have to review a certain. . ._something_. . .DragonNiro wrote."

I nodded, "I know what you're referring to, but since we technically reviewed it already, I think we should make a deal on your two requests," I said with a smile.

"Oh?" Keldeo said.

A finished off my granola bar and said, "We put Keldeo the Critic on _**both**_ Fanfiction _**and**_ on Blogger."

Keldeo blinked, and he stared at the white painted cinder block wall in thought. Then he turned back and said, "Okay, if you want. I guess it wouldn't hurt."

"Reviews of any kind are blog material," I explained.

Keldeo nodded, "Very true."

"Okay then," I said, "One last condition."

"Yeeaaah?" Keldeo said.

I crawled across the bed and moved right behind Keldeo. Making sure not to lean on his tail, and reached over and picked up my laptop. I quickly clicked back to _Fluttershy, the Pokemon Whisperer. _

"This has to be the first review," I said, showing the story to Keldeo.

Keldeo cocked his head at the story, "Why?"

"This is the Fanfic that got me thinking about you, what with that _Pokemon Reenacted By Ponies_ video," I said with a chuckled. Keldeo chuckled a bit as well. "It was an old suggestion too. All the way back on August 1st. It helped me consider the idea of actually doing this. I feel like I owe it."

I could tell by the look in Keldeo's eyes that he understood. He nodded and took out his tablet from his thick red mane. Before long he had the Fanfic bookmarked. "Done," he said as he put the tablet back.

I nodded back, "All right then. What's next?"

Keldeo smiled that smile of his. That smile that showed that he had everything under control, that he was ready for action, that everything was going alright. "I think you know what's next," he said, and he gave a wink.

Keldeo nuzzled me with his little round snout, and then stepped off of the bed.

I looked at the Fanfic on my laptop screen.

"I'll see you later, Matthais. . ."

I turned towards the voice.

Keldeo was gone.

I stared at the spot where Keldeo once stood for what felt like a long time. Then I regained my senses and went straight to work. I returned to my desk with my laptop and threw the granola bar wrapper in the garbage. I went to the Doc Manager and began to type:

_A Keldeo stepped out of the G-Man door to watch the battle in person, he was ambushed by "Zoroarks". . ._

* * *

The door of white light opened up in time and space. Keldeo stepped out of it, smiling, excited about what he was going to see. Up ahead, he could see Dash Ketchum, ready to battle with her Pikabloom. Keldeo began to walk towards the battle site, knowing not to get too close, lest he be seen.

_"Zoroark. . "_

Keldeo turned in surprise to a large black Changeling with a thick red mane and tail. Keldeo smiled in what looked like amusement.

_"Zoroark. . ."_

Keldeo turned again to see another one of the creatures. He turned again, and saw another, and another, and another, and another.

_"Zoroark. . .Zoroark. . .Zoroark. . ."_

Keldeo was surrounded by the Changeling/Zoroarks. He frowned and said:

"We'll see about _that!_"

_FLASH!_

Keldeo stood tall in Resolute Form, and the attackers all lay unconscious around him. The door of light slid open in front of him, and Keldeo entered it without hesitation. . .

Keldeo found himself standing in cool shallow water with a hard rock river bed. As the door slid closed behind him, Keldeo took a deep breath as he returned to his normal form. Keldeo looked over at the rock platform sticking up out of the river. He smiled as he walked over to it and jumped up onto it.

There was only one thing left for Keldeo to say:

_"I'm Keldeo the Critic, and I'm back to reviewing Pokemon Fanfiction."_

* * *

**THE END**

Performed by Keldeo of the Swords of Justice

**_Credits_**

_Nostalgia Critic- The Review Must Go On_

_Kongregate_

_Bloons Super Monkey 2- _Ninja Kiwi

_Level Up-_ Titch

_Rouge Legacy- _Cellar Door Games

_Pokemon Reenacted by Ponies _by jjkmovies

_Equestria Girls- _Hasbro

_My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic- _Hasbro

_Conquering the Dark _by AuraWielder

_Ryan the Reviewer _by FictionaryMan03895

_Fluttershy, the Pokemon Whisperer _by Pete the Rock

_Half-Life-_ Valve

**_Special Thanks_**

_YouTube_

_Toadettegirl2012_

_loremaster965_

_Google_

_Gmail_

_Blogger_

_Bulbapedia_

_**(This was a parody of the Nostalgia Critic by Doug Walker on That Guy With The Glasses)**_


	2. Fluttershy, the Pokemon Whisperer-Part 1

_SLASH-BOOOOOM!_

The wall was blown apart by Keldeo's Focus Blast.

_**The review must go on!**_

Keldeo activated his Secret Sword and swung it.

Keldeo sprayed water from his hooves, putting out the forest fire around him.

Keldeo slid across the icy ground and gave Kyurem a kick in the face.

_**The review must go on!**_

Keldeo growled angrily at Ash, but then ran and put his head under a water fountain to cool off.

_**That's the theme of this song!**_

_**Although the waits may be long,**_

Keldeo cried out as Honchkrow hit him with Perish Song.

Keldeo and Ryan the Reviewer fought on a cliff top, Secret Sword and Bone Rush clashing over and over.

Keldeo and Ash gobbled down food, but then started to choke and began moving their head in an attempt to swallow.

**_I am a Swords of Justice. . ._**

Keldeo ran through memories of him with Terrakion, Virizion, and Coballion, and jumped, turning into his Resolute Form in mid air with a flash of light.

_**The review must go on!**_

Keldeo reared up on his hind legs, his expression serious and his Secret Sword raised and glowing brightly.

**Keldeo the Critic**

******"Fluttershy, the Pokémon Whisperer" by**** Pete the Rock**

It's me! Keldeo The Critic! I review Pokemon FanFiction when I'm not training with the other Swords of Justice!

When Nintendo revealed me to the public on February 15, 2012, well, acutally I was leaked leaked on a photo of a page from CoroCoro magazine two days earlier. . .Anyway, many people weren't sure what to think of me.

For instance, on the Gamfaqs website, a message board had this title:

* * *

**The deer trio was awesome, then I saw Keldeo the MLP reject. :/**

* * *

_(Keldeo laughed in disbelief and raised his hooves to gesture in amazement.)_

Alright. . .people who believe this. . .first of all, I was before _Friendship is Magic _caught on. And second, well, you do realize that MLP has scenes like this:

* * *

_A fierce Manticore jumped out at the Mane Six._

* * *

_A Cockatrice slithered up from a bush and screeched_

* * *

_Rainbow Dash flew into the air and crashed down into a barn, blowing it up in a huge rainbow colored mushroom cloud._

* * *

_Fluttershy tackled a huge grisly bear to the ground and pulled on its leg. She then grabbed it by the neck and twisted it until it snapped._

* * *

_Princess Celestia and the ugly half pony half insect Changeling Queen have a lazer beam battle._

* * *

_The Mane Six fought off an army of the Queen's minions. Twilight fired lazer beams rapidly at them, as the others beat the snot out of the rest of them. Soon the Changelings all lay beaten to pulp around them._

* * *

_A Cerberus jumped over a house and roared._

* * *

_The entire empire slowly turned dark and corrupted as a huge evil spirit of black smoke slithered across the land towards the palace. An evil looking head with green and red eyes and curved red horn could be seen within the smoke._

* * *

So. . .you think being connected to something as. . ._awesome. . ._as that is a bad thing?

You might wanna do a little thinking about that.

Well, I'm sure you all know where this is going. It's time for a _Pokemon/My Little Pony_ Crossover!

Now, these kind of crossovers are actually kind of rare. The only other crossover I've found was _Friendship is Aura _on FiM Fiction Net. I did an Editorial on the main character of that story back in Season One. But lets focus on the task at hand. Namely, _"Fluttershy, the Pokemon Whisperer" _by Pete the Rock.

This actually sounds interesting. Fluttershy loves animals and can talk to them, so she'd probably love Pokemon and can talk to them. Kinda like N. . .

Could this story bring up the negative connotation of Pokemon battling? Will Fluttershy be upset that Pokemon are fighting? Will Fluttershy meet N. . .or even _join_ Team Plasma? Well, let's read the story and find out.

* * *

_**Fluttershy, the Pokémon Whisperer**_

_Author: Pete the Rock _

___A spell from a mysterious book sends Fluttershy to the Pokémon World but that's not the only problem. Rated for mild violence. PonyShyShipper_

* * *

Always a book. Why is it always a book. I mean, we got the _Dark Prognosticus_ in _Super Paper Mario,_ the book from _Time Warp Trio, The Great Big Book of Everything_ from _Stanley; _why must there always be a magic book. Why not a magic scroll?

So, this mysterious book is found just lying in the middle of the forest.

_(Keldeo nodded and stood there. Then he nodded again with more emphasis)_

What, I'm serious, the book is just lying in the forest.

What, don't believe me? Look!

* * *

___A black book. What was a black hard cover book doing in the grass in the middle of a forest? There was no title. Three little ponies were approaching the spot._

* * *

Maybe it fell from the sky, I don't know. It's a world of magical talking multicolored horses.

So, the book is found by three little fillies, Applebloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle. Okay, how did they come up with these names? Well they don't open the book because they think it's a private diary, but they bring it the library run by the main character, Twilight Sparkle, the worlds most powerful unicorn spellcaster.

* * *

_"The books pretty big for a diary. It might be a new spell book Twilight ordered." A spell book? The voice coming in would want to beg to differ._

_"Why would I need a new spell book, Spike?" spoke a purple horned pony with a dark violet mane fitted with a couple pink streaks. She also had prints of sparkles around her tail. Sparkles? As in Twilight Sparkle?_

* * *

Okay, I just love how even the author is making jokes about her name. It's certainly better than all of those Chester A. Bum Fanfic parodies that make a whole ton of _Twilight _jokes. Really? Is that the best they can do?

Anyway, it turns out the book is an advanced spell book, and Twilight wants to try them out. Her friends even come to watch.

And now, this author makes use of a lot of detail from the show to make some really funny jokes. for instance:

* * *

_"Why am I not surprised that you have a new book you're reading? More proof that you're an egghead." Twilight sneered at Rainbow with an unsettling smile. Oh, boy! "Hey, I know that look! Don't gimme that!"_

_"Oh, yeah? I recall a certain Pegasus pony who tried to sneak back into the hospital to read Daring Do and caused a lot of ruckus because of it." The cocky winged filly was now rather sheepish and the Crusaders were neighing in laughter. That's embarrassing._

* * *

_"Yeah, and maybe there's a spell which could make me irresistible to Rarity!" he chirped. Twilight was about to tell him to get real but Sweetie Belle delivered that to him._

_"What makes you think you're worthy of my big sister?" she snapped. "Huh?" Sweetie Belle's Rarity's sister?_

_"Well...I-" The evil eye from Sweetie Belle forced Spike to shut his snout._

* * *

Yeah, Spike is a dragon that has a crush on a pony. Nothing to see here! Just think of a Dragon-type having a crush on a Ponyta.

_(Keldeo stopped and thought about this and shuddered nervously.)_

Nevermind.

* * *

_"Every pony, I need complete silence from the gallery," she warned. "It's the first time trying it so I need full concentration." The crusaders, Rainbow, Fluttershy and Spike, despite not being a pony per say, remained quiet. Twilight focused, her horn glowing like Sweetie Belle earlier. A beam of purple shot out of Twilight's horn and enveloped a circular shape. The circle then began warping with swirls of color. The gallery couldn't hold their excitement and chided their amazement._

_"I may not be a scientist but I think Twilight created a portal," Apple Bloom believed._

* * *

_(Keldeo stood there and looked around innocently. Then he frowned.)_

No, I'm not going to make that reference. You all should know by now that I hate _Friendship is Witchcraft_ with a burning passion. So you are not going to hear-

_(Suddenly, a scene depicting the "Pinkie's Brew" segment from "Cute From the Hip" slid in from the right side.)_

_"Watch as I work my Gypsy magic-!"_

_(Keldeo shoved the scene back, only to have it come back from the left)_

_"Eye of a newt and cinnamon!-"_

_(Keldeo shoved the scene back again, but then it came up from below him.)_

_"Watch as the matter turns to batter-!"_

_(With a final shove, Keldeo forced the scene back down. Keldeo chuckled, feeling very pleased with himself.)_

Aha, it's gonna take more than that to stop-

_CRASH!_

_(The scene fell from the sky and landed on top of Keldeo, just in time for the end of the song.)_

_"Open the portal, jump in!"_

Stupid abridged series. . .why did it have to make such good songs. . .

So, anyway, when the portal disappears, Twilight tries to create another one.

* * *

_"What's every pony doing watching Twilight?" spoke a pink pony with a curly pink mane and balloons for prints by her hide. The voice forced Twilight to spin at the crowd._

_"Pinkie Pie!" she shouted, forgetting the glowing horn which fired another beam. Incoming! The beam was heading toward Fluttershy who wasn't moving fast enough. This was going to hurt. The beam hit Fluttershy...KABANG! A huge blast. A mushroom cloud rose above the track. Was everyone okay? In Fluttershy's case, her ordeal was more than just surviving the blast._

* * *

Three guesses to where this is going to lead, the first two don't count!

* * *

_Where-" I hiccuped. I couldn't get my hooves down to lift my body up. One flower came over and put a leaf on me to settle down._

_"Take it easy!" it spoke. This was the first time I heard a flower talk to me, let alone tell me to relax. "We're all wondering how a human like you got beyond the gates." H-Human? Wait a second, I'm a Pegasus pony, not a human!_

_"Hold on...I'm a pony!" A few of the living plants glared at one another, not believing me for a second. I am a pony!_

_"Could it be that she was a Ponyta?" the seed questioned. That's when a green pod with a yellow flower full of water hopped on over._

_"You may disagree with all of us," it warned. "But we are being honest. Take a look!" I saw my mane, still as pink as ever. Then I saw...that's me? What happened to my face? I didn't see a snout on me but a face of a human girl. That's not suppose to be me. I checked my hooves, only they were human hands. I also found myself wearing a yellow dress, the same as the fur on my body...which wasn't there. It was skin. I...I was...human?_

* * *

A year before _Equestria Girls, _ladies and gentleman! Okay, the ponies turning into humans was a popular thing in Fanfiction, but still, this promises to be very good.

So in the next chapter, while the ponies are all running around wondering what happened to Fluttershy, Human!Fluttershy is introduced to the leader of the Pokemon she ran into.

* * *

_"This is the first time I've heard of a human, let alone...become one. I wonder if Twilight knows about humans. She's highly educated from Canterlot." Before the creatures could wonder who Fluttershy was mentioning, a giant blue creature with a flower that was like a palm tree on it's back stomped onto the scene, curious about the human who found herself in their forest._

_"So, this is the human that had appeared," the giant discovered. Fluttershy turned her body around and tried to stand in front of the new creature. Unfortunately, her feet were new and she fell onto her tail...bone. Not the same as trotting on hooves, huh? At least the ground was soft. The other creatures bowed to this creature, a notable feeling of royalty in their sights._

_"Your highness, we've checked her out and she doesn't appear to be a trainer," a pink pod with weeds protruding from it's crown figured. Trainer?_

_"It has been sometime since we've been in contact with a human, let alone a Pokémon trainer." Pokémon? Were these creatures Pokémon? The human comment wasn't sitting well with Fluttershy._

_"I'm sorry if I have to correct you...uh, your highness," she expressed her disapproval. "But I'm actually a pony from Equestria. More over, I'm a Pegasus pony...at least, that's what I use to be." Hearing that, the lord of these creatures stuck out a green vine. Was he offering friendship to Fluttershy?_

_"Can you walk?" Fluttershy tried to get up again, way unsteady on her feet. When her footing gave way again, she snagged the vine and stopped from falling onto her tail. She pulled herself to standing again._

_'Okay, Fluttershy. Spike could walk on his hind legs. Take it one step at a time.' She moved one foot forward. Then the other foot. Who knew walking was so difficult? She finally reached the royal Pokémon, collapsing onto it's sturdy structure. She shivered. She looked rather frightened. 'That was scary. Who knew walking wasn't as easy as Spike does it?' Has there ever been a pony that could walk on it's hind hooves? The bulb-back creature had an idea._

_"I'm gonna get you something," she offered. "It's the first human who've we befriended since we've had the gates built." It scampered off without much of a warning._

_"Careful, Little Wonder," Fluttershy tried to offer that warning. Little Wonder... Compared to the highness, it's fitting. The king of this forest wanted to give the "Pegasus" human a tour of his kingdom. A hand, not hoof, to the king's back helped steady Fluttershy's balance._

_"I should let you know that I was once like Little Wonder," he grumbled. "I was a Bulbasaur before I evolved and grew up to be this, a Venusaur." Fluttershy seemed intrigued by Venusaur's proclamation._

_"Can I still call you highness, Venusaur?" A scoff seemed like Venusaur wouldn't mind. "So the gate..." Venusaur realized that she'd be asking about it._

_"In the past, trainers would enter this forest and try to take us for battles against other trainers. It became a disaster since every Pokémon that was taken out of this forest brought desolation and wilt. The trainers were unknowingly destroying the place we call home. Before the forest became a wasteland, a group of humans stopped the continuous flood of trainers. They even erected a wall to prevent these trainers from gaining access to us." The fear of losing their Pokémon brethren had humans coming out and having to protect them as a metallic bird was carrying something in it's talons. It was red._

* * *

That's right, this is the sanctuary in which _**AG073 :** Grass Hysteria _takes place! In fact, it actually takes place _during _that episode! That's right, after the Skarmony grabs May and drops her into the Pokemon Sanctuary, after which she saves a Bulbasaur from falling off a cliff, and then Ash rushes in to save May from the angry Grass-type Pokemon, just like in the episode. However, Fluttershy, being the Advanced Generation version of N, acts as mediator/translator between them. I know, since this is Advanced Generation we won't get to see Team Plasma or N, but this story still has potential.

And about Advanced Generation, that was a pretty good season. It was fun, bright, full of adventure, comedic, and kid friendly. And best of all, the characters finally stopped acting weird and stupid!

I really wish I could've met Brock, May, and Max.

Okay, back to the review.

* * *

_"How does that girl understand Venusaur?" May gawked. Not even Ash was sure. Fluttershy then looked at Ash and remembered him entering this valley, only understanding why he trespassed._

_"Then the reason you entered here was to rescue her?" she pondered._

_"Yeah," he snapped a reply. Fluttershy figured that these two were close but understood his intent. Little Wonder entered the scene and saw the crowd, wondering if anyone was hurt. Ash and May saw it too. "Hey, a Bulbasaur!" Little Wonder looked up to Fluttershy to tell her that May was the one who saved her._

_("That's the girl who kept me from falling,") she pointed out. Fluttershy nodded to acknowledge the Bulbasaur before turning to Venusar._

_"Your highness, I don't think we need to worry about these humans," she concluded. Venusaur trusted her word but used it's vines to pat down the trainers, startling the trainers._

_"I think it's checking us out," May hummed. After that pat down, the vines picked Torchic up. Venusaur heard the explanation but groaned about Torchic._

_"The highness disapproves of your Torchic being in these lands." Ash knew the reason._

_"I know why," he spoke up. "Grass Pokémon don't like Fire Pokémon like Torchic." A note May quickly realized._

_"Oh, yeah," she recalled as she snagged a red/white ball and pointed it to her chick. "Torchic, return!" Torchic turned into a red beam and entered the ball before May put it in her fanny pack. "I'm sorry for entering this forest and I promise that I wouldn't hurt anyone." Fluttershy and Venusaur finalized that Ash and May weren't going to be a problem._

_"I understand," Fluttershy accepted the apology. "We'll guide you two around the area." She turned to Venusaur with an order. "Your highness, advise the others that these two can stay with us until the gates are opened." Venusaur went with Fluttershy's word and turned to the rest of the Pokémon. If Ash and May, not to mention their Pokémon, were shocked to see how one girl would be able to tame the wrath of Grass Pokémon, they weren't alone._

* * *

Indeed, because Team Rocket saw the whole thing and has big plans for Human!Fluttershy.

* * *

_"Venusaur is telling the rest of the Pokémon that the twerps helped their Bulbasaur friend and that they can stay for as long as possible," spoke a white cat with an oval coin in it's forehead. "And dat's dat!" Two uniformed humans watched on with the cat. One was a female with wavy blood red hair. She wore a white mid-drift shirt with a red 'R' on it, white skirt and black thigh-high boots. One was a male with dampened blue hair. He donned a white uniform with that same red 'R' on it._

_"That female twerp really has taken control of the Pokémon just by voice commands," the male awed. "She's make a great speaker for Team Rocket." The female seemed to want to agree._

_"It's true what they say," she summed up. "Great minds think alike. We could take her and use her to help snag rare Pokémon." The cat gulped. Did he not like the idea._

_"Now, wait a second, Jessie!" he meowed. "Dat's not Team Rocket's operation of existence! We're not kidnappers!" Jessie grinned, not worried one bit._

_"We did kidnap Pikachu's twerp. What's wrong with someone like her?" She scampered off and left the other two wondering her scheme. The cat could only think something bad happening if they tried to take Fluttershy from Ash and May._

_"There's some days dat I feel better in your hands, Jimmy boy."_

_"Appreciate the support, Meowth," James thanked before they trailed Jessie. What plans did they have in taking Fluttershy?_

* * *

_(Keldeo face hooves.)_

Oh come on! Meowth can talk, why not use him! And do you really think Fluttershy's going to go along with your evil plan? But to be fair, Jessie is the only one who thinks this plan will work. And did Meowth just call James "Jimmy"?

Well, in the next chapter, Fluttershy shows her new friends all around the forest.

* * *

_Chapter 3: Fierce Flutter_

* * *

_Ash, Pikachu, May and Fluttershy returned into the forest where there was a waterfall and a rock formation that made it look like a miniature mountain. The Grass Pokémon were pretty tame at locating themselves in peace. "Look at this place!" Ash awed. May and Fluttershy were equally awe-stricken with the site. "No wonder the Pokémon wanted to protect it." Fluttershy would agree._

_"The Pokémon here do intend to call this place home," she explained. This would explain why they were territorial. "After all, many trainers came by and unwillingly were destroying the place by taking them from here." The note of people coming along and taking Pokémon to harm the forest implanted ire in the two trespassers._

_"You must have been left in charge of this place in order to prevent more of the same," May incorrectly concluded. It would make some sense but Fluttershy wasn't even there for an hour, let alone years._

_"Oh, no. I haven't been here that long! The highness has been here longer than the other Pokémon, let alone me." The perplexity on Ash's and May's faces were priceless. They knew Fluttershy meant Venusaur who was watching the humans and Pokémon from above...but to hear that she hadn't been here for any longer than say a new arrival baffled them._

_("You're not from around here?") Pikachu gasped._

_"No, I'm afraid not." Disbelief read the faces of even Ash's Pokémon. They don't know how complicated this was. "As a matter of fact, this isn't my real form." Neither of the three were sure how to take that info._

* * *

Well, I think the Pokemon world would probably have an easier time believing your story than the "real" type world in Equestria Girls.

* * *

_("Everyone!") grunted Little Wonder. The group turned to see the Bulbasaur with a yellow flower wrapped in it's vine._

_"Little Wonder?" Fluttershy shyly gasped. Bulbasaur extended the vine and wanted to give the flower...to May._

_("For you for saving me.") May seemed stunned that the Pokémon who were going to beat her up now have shown a soft side with this little gift._

* * *

Ah yes, this story sticks to the plot of the actual episode very well.

And if you're wondering what's happening in Equestria. . .

_(Keldeo rubbed his forehead with his hooves.)_

Oh my gosh. . .I hate bickering so much. It's just so annoying and uniteresting. The _brief_ Equestria cut away in this chapter can be summarized thusly: Twilight is upset, they can't find Fluttershy is random, Rainbow Dash and Twilight are angry, Applejack has to keep the peace. I'm not really complaining because I'm more interested in what's happening in the Pokemon world, but I'd rather the author just keep it one world per chapter and take a whole chapter to develop what's going on and what the characters are going to do.

And you know what else is annoying? The author has to go and _describe every new character in detail._

* * *

_The ponies and Spike turned to see an orange pony with a cowboy hat over a blond mane and apples imprinted by her tail. The other pony was white with curls in her violet mane and diamonds by her tail._

* * *

Oh come on, we know what Applejack and Rarity look like! It's Fanfiction, we're fans! We know the characters! Imagine if my reviews did something like that!

_(Said the quadruped, colt-like Pokémon with a cream-colored body, a short, rounded snout with large nostrils, blue eyes, a large, feathery red mane, long, dark blue, ridged eyebrow-like protrusions, a single cream-colored horn that curves slightly, fluffy, light blue fur on the back of his head and neck, blue hooves, which are capable of ejecting water, and a light blue with white spots and resembles an elaborate feather in a cap.)_

* * *

_"Say, what town or city are you from?" Fluttershy pondered if maybe saying where she's from could help with the mysterious mental fog clouding the humans that she herself became._

_"Actually, I'm from Ponyville," she answered. A village but the name of Ponyville had Ash scratching his head. It wasn't a village he's heard of._

_'Ponyville? Is that in the Hoenn Region? I know it ain't in Johto, Kanto or the Orange Islands.' Before Ash could interrogate her further, he remembered that there were others who were waiting for them back beyond the gate. 'Maybe we can have her tag along so that she could tell us about Ponyville.' He now turned to May. "May, we should find our way out of here. Max and Brock are pretty worried about us." May turned to Ash, knowing about their friends just beyond the gate._

_"I know," she smiled. "I mean...this place is beautiful and all, but we're not suppose to be here." Ash and Fluttershy bobbed to agree. That's when May remembered Fluttershy. "Hey, I've got an idea! Why not come with us? I mean, you're not from around here yourself, right?" An invite...that Ash was just thinking about. Fluttershy wasn't sure if she wanted to go with Ash and May over the gates. Perhaps if she stayed with the Pokémon, whatever brought her here could bring her back with Twilight and her friends. Then again, if she found a way back, would she return to pony form? Would her human form scare off the other ponies? Maybe going with Ash and May sounded like a good idea after all. Suddenly, a wail of cries from the Pokémon snagged their attention._

_"What was that?" Fluttershy heard the cries. Trouble. May realized there was panic._

* * *

That's right, like in the episode, it's Team Rocket's giant robot on the attack.

* * *

_"Prepare for trouble, we've got the Pokémon in the bag," that female from the robot chanted._

_"Make it double, or better yet, waive that rag," the male added. What's this, a motto?_

* * *

_(Keldeo looked around awkwardly)_

Well. . .yeah. . .of course it's a motto. . they're Team Rocket. This can't be Fluttershy's point of view, because it said "Fluttershy said" and "she heard", it's third person. Is the narrator from Equestria?

_(Keldeo smiled and jumped for joy)_

Well, whatever! Nothing can ruin a catchy Team Rocket Motto!

* * *

_"To protect the world from devastation."_

_"To unite all people's within our nation."_

_"To denounce the evils of truth and love."_

_"To extend our reach to the stars above." The head opened up where Jessie and James emerged._

_"Jessie!_

_"And James!"_

_"Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light!"_

_"Surrender now or prepare to fight, fight, fight!" That's when Meowth showed up._

_"Meowth, that's right!" he meowed with a Brooklyn accent. Ash realized that there was trouble with the appearance of these three._

* * *

So after it's revleaed the robot is, of course, Thunderbolt proof, Team Rocket goes after Fluttershy, but grab Bulbasaur, oh I'm sorry, _Little Wonder_ and May. This causes Fluttershy to decide she's had enough.

* * *

_"HOW DARE YOU!" Even though the anger wasn't at Ash, he and Venusaur still flinched at the yelled from her. "You think that just because you have a giant robot means that you can bully everyone and everything in this world?" James and Meowth stuttered from Fluttershy's tone. Jessie? To her, Fluttershy was like Ash and May, just a twerp._

_"Well, duh," she defied. "The bigger we are, the better our chances of getting away." Fluttershy wasn't going to throw in the towel just yet. Instead she reached for the balls by Ash's belt._

_Hey!" he yelped. "What are you-" Snagging a ball, Fluttershy chucked the ball out which opened where a light spurt out and a red lobster-like creature emerged._

_("I'm here!") it cawed. Ash was shocked that Fluttershy would release one of his Pokémon...but grinned with a plan._

* * *

Wait. . .so. . .she just releases a random Pokemon? How could she have known what she was doing?

So, Corphish smashes the anti Electric-type attack mirror and tears open the back, freeing Little Wonder and May. But wait, what if Fluttershy had picked some other Pokemon at random?

_FLASH!_

_Ash: "Alright! Go now. . .Treeko. . .use. . .bullet seed on the hard metal robot. . ."_

_Fluttershy: "You're not very smart, are you."_

_Ash: "You're the one who chose Treeko!"_

So then the guardian of the gates to the Pokemon reservation named Old Man Obee has his Poochyena hit the robot with Shadow Ball, and Venusaur finishes the robot off with a Solar Beam.

* * *

_KABOOM! The robot was toast and Team Rocket went flying._

_"Looks like Team Rocket's blasting off again!" the three yelled as they left the forest. Bye bye! It was a moment for everyone to calm down and relax. As the sun set, the humans and Fluttershy were back beyond the gate. The Grass Pokémon were saying their goodbyes._

* * *

_(Keldeo stomped)_

Okay, this story is written very. . .weird.

I mean, the narrator is all over the place. It's like it was written by the Curiosity Core from _Portal,_ either that or Zorua. It's like, "Is that a motto? The robot's toast. Bye bye!"

_(Zorua suddenly ran in)_

_"Hey! I resemble that remark!"_

Oh, go do a review of _Grass Hysteria!_

_"Okay!" _

_(Zorua ran off happily)_

And why did we just skip from Team Rocket blasting off again to sunset at the gate? Maybe they did it in the episode, but can't you add in the aftermath? And if you really want to do a time skip, then put in a horizontal line, or just say "_1 hour later"_ or something!

* * *

_"The Pokémon are grateful that we came to help them despite the fact that none of us were allowed inside," Fluttershy explained. "I am grateful to be friends with those who wish to preserve the lands for future generations." That was rather heartwarming. May did have a question for Fluttershy._

_"By the way, Fluttershy," she started. Guess she told her name with some confidence. "How were you able to calm the Pokémon down with your voice? When we met, you said that you weren't there for a long time." That was a mystery that Ash had to be desiring answers to, too._

_"I take care of different animals back home, even my bunny, Angel. So for me to understand Pokémon sounds rather natural." It's as if understanding creatures was a talent for her. The old man came forward with a question of his own._

_"By the way, how did you infiltrate the gates?" he wondered. Fluttershy had a feeling that her answer would not help the mystery but thought it would start a reason._

_"To be honest, the last thing I remember was Twilight Sparkle trying a spell from a new book and the spell hitting me. When I woke up, the Pokémon wondered about who I was." Twilight Sparkle? Even to Pikachu, that name was not normal._

_"Who would name someone Twilight Sparkle?" Brock itched his head in confusion._

* * *

Does the author not like that name? Cause this is the second time there's been a joke about it.

Well, you know what happens next. Little Wonder, sheesh, could you come up with a name any more clichéd. So Little Wonder decides to travel with May.

And that's it. Kind of a misleading title. I mean, did Fluttershy even do anything? Sure, she got angry. She threw a Pokeball. So there's that. Okay.

So in the next chapter, "A Shy Way Home," Fluttershy and May go. . .clothes shopping. . .

_(Keldeo blinks)_

Really? Clothes shopping? We go from fighting Team Rocket to clothes shopping? You have a world of creatures with incredible power, and a being from another world who's been thrown in a new body, we have all these emotions of homesickness and confusions and stories of what our characters have been through, and the most you can think of is clothes shopping?

_(Keldeo threw up his front hooves and picked up a Berry Juice.)_

Well, this is going to be a boring chapter. I guess I'll just relax with a nice cold Berry Juice.

* * *

_"We, uh...stopped by for some new clothes," Fluttershy tried to get her attention. Still in a really happy place, the owner ran off for some of her line of clothing._

_"Of course! These are top of the line gowns that would no doubt go with the hairstyle! Come to the dressing room and try it out!" The green-haired owner dragged Fluttershy to her tiny dressing rooms for her to see what she'd look like in her wardrobe. She lifted her dirty gown off, revealing rather lacy lingerie and there were small bumps on her chest. If this was what Fluttershy looked like as a human, could you imagine what the other ponies would appear as should they come by here. Speaking of ponies, a piece of herself was found above her waist at her back: her cutie mark! She may be human but a piece of herself was still on her._

* * *

_(Keldeo almost did a spit-take, but he managed to keep his mouth closed and swallowed the juice. Once he composed himself, he spoke in a strained and shaky tone)_

Oh. . .my. . .gosh. . .

First of all, why does something like this have to happen whenever I'm drinking something!

Second, if this story is rated K+, then why in the name of justice and honor are we peeking into a girl's dressing room?

Third, assuming Pete the Rock is male, isn't it a little creepy that a guy is writing about a girl staring at her breasts while wearing nothing but a lacy lingerie? Ughhhhh!

And fourth, when Hasbro made Equestria Girls and designed the characters, they took their Cutie Marks and changed them into patches or buttons or designs on their clothing because, oh, I don't know, _seeing a human with a Cutie Mark on their butt has to be the creepiest thing ever conceived! _Look, maybe you're okay with humans having tattoos on their butts, that's your opinion. But me? I find it _very_ unsettling. I mean, isn't their a negative connotation for when a woman wears a symbol on that part of their body?

So, while in the dressing room, Fluttershy discovers that win her clothing was a picture of her and the rest of the Mane Six.

* * *

_"I still have my cutie mark? I thought it might have disappeared when I became human." Apparently, that wasn't all. Peering down, there was what appeared to be a photo. She picked it up and nearly wept the fitting room with flowing tears. It was her...as her old self and along with the other ponies: Twilight, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Rainbow and...that other pony. What was her name?_

* * *

_(Keldeo stomped the ground)_

Okay, I'm getting real mad now. Why is the author picking on Applejack now? Is it because she only had the starring role in 3 episode? Uh, she's pretty important in like, 80 percent of the other episodes! And what's worse, the way this story is written it makes you wonder whose point of view this story is being told from. It's supposed to be third person, but the narrator is reacting to every little detail as if he's surprised by every little thing. He doesn't know Pokemon names, he describes every new character, he makes all these weird comments.

So you wonder if it's supposed to be from Fluttershy's point of view, which would explain why the Pokemon are nameless and have to be described and why there are all these weird little lines, but then that would mean she's forgotten Applejack's name! The first time I read this, I thought Fluttershy was slowly loosing her memory the longer she spent in the Pokemon world. Now _that_ would be a clever plot device. But since Fluttershy doesn't express any concern about not remembering the orange pony with the cowboy hat, you know it can't be from Fluttershy's point of view, so that means that comment was just a cheap shot at Applejack that came out of nowhere.

This narrator is acting like the _Pokemon_ Narrator, the _Power Puff Girls_ Narrator, and the _Word Girl_ Narrator all rolled into one.

* * *

"_My friends..." Let's let her reminisce while we check back with the ponies. A portal was opened by Twilight where the forest of Grass Pokémon could be viewed. The ponies got to maybe a few feet of the portal in Twilight's home but it abruptly closed and vanished. Twilight was exhausted._

* * *

There wasn't even a transition! It's just, right in the middle of the paragraph, we go back to Equestria! Seriously?

* * *

_"I'm sorry, every pony," she apologized weakly. "I'm out of... energy to..." The orange pony positioned her head in time to catch Twilight fainting. Poor Twilight wore herself out trying to find Fluttershy._

* * *

Twilight Sparkle fainted! Her eyes are swirly!

_(A large crowd could be heard booing at Keldeo)_

Alright! Alright! Come on! I don't hear you booing at how this author's really milking this "who's Applejack?" joke.

So guess what? Nothing happens. Literally, they all just sit their and mope. Of, in the name of Celestia, do something! In fact, that's an idea, send a letter to Celestia! She's powerful! I'm sure she could do something. But seriously, just seeing the characters moping and saying, "I hope Fluttershy is okay, I hope we find her soon," is not entertaining at all.

So we go back to the Pokemon World, alright stop.

_(Keldeo held up a hoof)_

Seriously, just stop. I mean, I think what the author is trying to say is that Pokemon is better than My Little Pony. That has to be the message because the plot back in Equestria is as dry as dust. The characters aren't doing anything. Maybe I'm reading too far into this, but if I'm not, well I believe both shows are great and there's no point in comparing them. Watch them both, they both have good points and bad points, they both have adventures, and they're both fun. Not like in this Fanfic where you want to slap a pony whenever we go back to Equestria.

So, Little Wonder and Ash's Bulbasaur become friends, and May's Skitty and Ash's Tailow have a Pokemon battle. Now, you'd think Fluttershy would have something to say about little creatures fighting each other, kind of like that story arc with N in the Anime. But it seems the author continues to frustrate us by having Fluttershy have a heart-to-heart with Pikachu instead.

* * *

_As the two battled, Max saw the picture of Fluttershy as her old self with her friends. Pikachu saw the photo, curious about if the six were Pokémon._

_("What are they?") he asked. Fluttershy decided to let the little one know about her origin._

_"That's...suppose to be me," she confessed. Pikachu did a double-take, gawking between Fluttershy in the photo and Fluttershy in person, literally. "There's Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash and myself." Seeing all these ponies on the picture began to question who Fluttershy really was._

_("You're really a pony, not a human?") Pikachu looked hard at Fluttershy on the photo, noticing the wings. ("You can fly?") Fluttershy was a Pegasus pony._

_"If I could turn back, I would be able to." Strong interests fueled Pikachu's mind, desiring to see Fluttershy and her pony friends. "Although when Ash protected me from the king landing on us, I felt a warmth from him that I never felt even as a Pegasus pony." Was there something about Ash that had her feel this warmth?_

* * *

She has a crush on Ash? You know what? I don't care! I would have much rather seen Fluttershy's reaction to a Pokemon battle!

* * *

_And Skitty, I noticed that your Blizzard attack's gotten stronger." Skitty meowed, happy to hear the compliment. Fluttershy wondered what Blizzard was. She was paying more attention to her photo and Pikachu._

* * *

_(Keldeo stared blankly)_

_. . ._

How the heck do you miss a Pokemon bat-NEVERMIND!

* * *

_"I'm gonna make something to eat," Brock offered. The others couldn't wait for food but Fluttershy had a special request on his menu._

_"Can you make something without meat?" she asked. Fluttershy's a vegetarian? Formerly being a horse, it might not be too farfetched._

* * *

Stop with comments!

Look, in cartoons like _Power Puff Girls _and _Word Girl, _narrators that keep saying random stuff is fine because_ it's a cartoon_! You don't need a narrator to tell you the story, so you can kinda turn the narrator into a character and get some laughs out of it. But when you're reading a story, you _need _the narrator to tell you what the heck is going on. If the narrators starts spouting random stuff, it gets really confusing and distracting.

So, anyway, Fluttershy shows everyone the photo- WAIT A MINUTE?!

Where did that photo even come from? She didn't have it when Twilight zapped her? I mean, okay, the same could be said about her clothes, but we can't just have her be naked! But, how is there just some random photo?

You know what, I know this is a cop out, but I'm gonna say it: The Magic of Friendship.

* * *

_"Well, the orange pony is Applejack who helps run Sweet Apple Acres. The pink pony is Pinkie Pie. She...pretty much does everything around Ponyville. The blue Pegasus pony is Rainbow Dash, out weather manager and lastly, the purple unicorn is Twilight Sparkle who came to Ponyville from Canterlot." Seeing the cast on the photo, Max sneered at Ash. Why?_

_"These are girls, right?" he asked. Fluttershy bobbed a nod. "Maybe one of them could fawn for Ash." That was terrible, Max. POW! And May cemented that with a punch to the crown. "OW!"_

_"Apparently, bad child comedians could do better than that," she groaned_

* * *

What the heck am I reading? What was the point to that scene? I can't even comprehend its purpose? Would Max even say something like that? And also, annoying narrator!

* * *

_Fluttershy picked Skitty up to pet while Taillow perched itself on Ash's head._

_"I would like to meet your friends, Fluttershy," he said, somewhat willing to make new friends. Fluttershy giggled at Ash's curiosity._

_"Trust me," she smiled. "They're some of the best friends a pony...or human could ever have." That's when a flash blasted behind them. The flash was a portal...from Ponyville! Twilight's horn from the other side of the portal was glowing. She, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Rainbow, Applejack, Spike and the Cutie Mark Crusaders watched the portal open._

_"Look at that!" The kids gasped at seeing the ponies._

_"I told you some rest and a glass of apple cider would give her the strength to keep her portal open," Applejack grinned._

* * *

Oh, thank _goodness_. Now go home so this _boring _story can end!

* * *

_Fluttershy was stunned. It was her friends. Holding Skitty, Fluttershy approached the portal._

_"Twilight!" she gasped. "Applejack!" The ponies turned to what should be a reunion with a friend...only it didn't quite dawn on the ponies about one of their own._

_"Who in tar-nations are you?" She didn't recognized Fluttershy. She had to help out._

_"It's me, Applejack! It's Fluttershy!" Even Spike and Pinkie Pie didn't want to believe that this...whatever she was, was their friend Fluttershy. That's when she remembered that despite becoming human, she still had her cutie mark. "I can prove that it's me!" She turned around and hoisted her blouse_

* * *

_(Keldeo just stared at the Fanfic. His face was emotionless. All he could was stare at the words. He just stared and stared and stared for a solid 3 minutes. Then, he got up and walked away. He soon found himself sitting on a grassy hill, just staring at the sunset. . .)_

* * *

**We'll be right back!**

_**The comments expressed in this review are written in such a way so that negative aspects are used to create jokes. There will NOT be any bashing or ranting. Also, good things in a FanFic will be praised. Particularly bad FanFictions WON'T**** be totally thrashed, but expect to see major grievances addressed.**_


	3. Dramatic Scene- 1

Keldeo stood at that hill, watching the sunset with a somber look on his face. Behind floated Meloetta, curious as to what Keldeo was doing.

"What's up?" she asked.

Keldeo didn't turn around, but he replied, "I don't know, Meloetta. . .it's just. . . that scene in the Fanfic I was reviewing. What can somebody say to that?"

"Uhhhhh?" Meloetta said in response.

"I mean, come on!" Keldeo said, "Pegasus gets turned into a human girl, she has a tramp stamp on her butt, then she bends over and lifts up her blouse to show it to her friends."

"Eww," Meloetta said.

Keldeo hung his head and closed his eyes in anguish, "I have nothing for it, I have no jokes at all! Have I. . .lost my touch?"

"No," Meloetta said strongly as she floated to Keldeo's side and hugged him, "If you have nothing to say, then you have nothing to say. That's it. You're still a great reviewer who won't stoop to low levels of appeal to the lowest common denominator. So when it comes to scenes like that, I'd say it's not worth your time."

Keldeo smiled as he took in Meloetta's warming hug, "Thank you, Meloetta. . ."

Meloetta nodded, and the two sat together in silence, gazing at the beautiful sunset.


	4. Fluttershy, the Pokemon Whisperer-Part 2

**Keldeo the Critic**

**"Fluttershy, the Pokémon Whisperer" by Pete the Rock**

_(Keldeo walked through the shallow water and jumped onto the rock. He gave his wet hooves a few shakes and got into his reviewing stance)_

Okay, so after that scene. . .Fluttershy is hesistant to go through the portal because she's worried she won't turn back into a pony and stay as a human forever.

* * *

_"I think she's worried that if she crosses, she'll retain her human form instead of returning to the winged wonder we love," she guessed. It would be heartbreaking to learn that Fluttershy would forever be human._

_"Well, if that's what it takes," Apple Bloom neighed. "Then the Cutie Mark Crusaders will help Fluttershy across this!" Hearing that the Crusaders wanted to test Applejack's theory, some of the ponies...and humans and Pokémon got a little fearful._

_"Wait, hold on!" Ash tried to get their attention but..._

_"Cutie Mark Crusaders, charge!" they yelled as they flew for the open gateway._

* * *

Yeah, it's clear that these three are the trouble making trio of _Friendship is Magic. _First those three find the book that starts this whole mess, and now they go jumping through the dangerous portal.

* * *

_Chapter 5: To Err is Pony_

* * *

_Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo were leaping into the portal created by Twilight. The recovery of Fluttershy was the priority who was stuck in the Pokémon World...and as a human, a creature unfamiliar in Equestria. The Cutie Mark Crusaders hit the portal and passed through. That's when they began to change as they barreled into Ash, Max and May, knocking all to the floor._

* * *

So, yeah, they all turn into human kids.

* * *

_"That hurt a little," she groaned. That's when she saw her hooves as hands and feet which were tennis shoes. She was able to stand up without a problem. "Whoa, I'm human! Awesome!" You're not the only one. May caught Apple Bloom and both were rising with Apple Bloom donning a yellow t-shirt under overall jeans. At least her ribbon stayed on. Applejack watched on, like the rest of the ponies staying in the hut over in Ponyville, wondering how the ponies that just crossed over became human. Was it the spell in the book? Sweetie Belle was on Max, literally. Both were glaring into each one's eyes as Sweetie Belle wore a white dress with white dress shoes. There also appeared to be a unicorn's horn as a necklace. Ash, May, Apple Bloom and Scootaloo raced to Sweetie Belle's and Max's side to help them up. Up close, the faces of the current and new human had an apparent shade of rosy red. Some filly may have just found her colt...uh, girl may have just found her boy._

* * *

_(Keldeo face hoofed)_

Why? Just, why? At least in _Equestria Girls _they shoved the romance subplot between Flash Sentry and Twilight to the side, because to be honest, this is really creepy.

* * *

_"How in Equestria did they become human?" Rarity questioned._

* * *

They're not in Equestria anymore.

* * *

_"And remarkably fashioned?" Aside from the acknowledgment of one's wardrobe, she did point out the rather impossible to explain. But to Ash, a theory emerged as he gazed at the portal._

_"I have a thought," he pondered as he footed to the portal. "If a pony turns human by crossing into this portal...would the opposite occur if a human enters?" Watching Ash coming closer, others were worried about him invading with Pikachu by him._

_"Wait a second!" Twilight feared. Ash pressed his arm through the portal...and a hoof came out of the other side. Ash's arm was now a blue hoof with a green end. Ash smiled, his prediction being correct. If his whole arm could turn into a hoof, just imagine the rest of Ash should he pass completely through to the other side._

_"What do ya know," Pinkie Pie cheered. "We could be humans if we want to! Or ponies when we cross the portal." Ash pulled his hoof back from beyond the portal, reverting to human arm once again._

_"That felt weird," he summed up. "Definitely not the same when I was turned into a Pikachu by Lily." Ash was a Pikachu? That's new._

* * *

_(Keldeo looked curious)_

Really? Wow. It's certainly news to me. But if the author wrote it in, how is it new to him? Did one person write the dialogue while another person wrote the narrator? I'd believe that!

Well, never mind. Now it's time for Fluttershy to go back to Equestria-

* * *

_"I'm sorry, girls," she confessed. "But I wanna stay here a little longer." The ponies...and humans were shocked with Fluttershy's choice._

* * *

WHAT!? Are you kidding me? Okay, now the author is just trying to pan the story out longer.

* * *

_"You wanna stay?" May replayed in question. "But this was your chance to go home!" Fluttershy nodded but felt compelled to explain her reason._

_"Well, I wanna learn more about the Pokémon here and see if I can adapt that into taking better care of the animals near my cottage." That's an interesting reason. Everyone understood where Fluttershy was coming from._

* * *

Uh, no. That's a stupid reason. Pokemon are _not _like normal animals, they don't level up or know moves or battle. She can't learn anything from staying here. If anything she's in danger from being caught by Team Rocket.

* * *

_ That's when she remembered that Spike was in the room too. He and Twilight were always together. "Spike, could you come here a second?" Spike approached the portal as Fluttershy had a rolled up piece of paper. "Could you see that this gets to Princess Celestia?"_

_"Uh...sure!" he hesitantly agreed as he was offered the paper._

_"One more thing..." Pointing to an ear, Spike realized that Fluttershy had a secret...only Pikachu wanted in on it. The whisper was quiet enough that Pikachu didn't quite pick up on it. However, whatever Fluttershy said, Spike's cheeks burned the same shade of red Sweetie Belle and Max had when they first met. It may have been his feelings for Rarity._

_"Whoa..." Fluttershy stepped away and Twilight chose to let their fellow filly be what she decided._

_"Well, Fluttershy?" Twilight neighed. "I respect your decision to let you stay human. Sure, not many of the ponies would agree with this option." Just say that to Rainbow's scowl. Applejack wanted to hustle the crusaders back to the other side._

* * *

Now, if I told you Max went into Equestria with Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle and Applebloom stayed back with Fluttershy. . .you'd probably believe me.

* * *

_"Why not join us?" Sweetie Belle requested to Max. He was a little hesitant about going with a pony to Ponyville...without May or Ash. Reluctant as it may have been, discovering a new area...and a different body wouldn't hurt._

_"O-Okay..." he shyly answered. Along with Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle and Max entered the portal where the ponies reverted back to their horsing forms. Max had an all new look on him. He was now a green pony with a black mane which looked like his human hairstyle. He also retained his glasses so that's expected. "Whoa, this might take some time to get use to." Walking on four hooves instead of two feet...come on, Max, it's like crawling when you were a baby. Ash, May and Fluttershy, along with the Pokémon were surprised to see one of the humans become a pony. Apple Bloom wasn't really budging too much. Fluttershy wanted to get her moving._

_"It's okay, Apple Bloom," she reassured. "I'll be fine here with Ash and May." That would be convincing enough and Apple Bloom walked to the portal. Then she stopped at the doorway. Was she reconsidering the return?_

_"No~!" she snapped. This startled the humans and ponies. Apple Bloom wanted to stay?_

_"What do you mean no?" Applejack yelled. This filly wanted freedom._

_"I wanna stay human for a while! It feels great!" Applejack groaned at Apple Bloom's deviancy. "Besides, I wanna make sure nothing happens to Fluttershy." But what about the Cutie Mark Crusaders? Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo were beside themselves at watching one of their own stray from the herd. Twilight wanted the whole fiasco to stop._

_"Okay every pony!" she spoke up before realizing that the humans were paying attention too. "I mean...everyone. I'm closing the portal. Please keep an eye on Fluttershy and Apple Bloom. We'll watch Max for you."_

* * *

You know, I know I'm supposed to be feeling something here, the gang is splitting up and exploring new worlds in new bodies. But this story is just so boring. It's all just exposition. It doesn't focus on the characters enough, and we don't get to see enough personality. And there's no real buildup. So when Applebloom snaps and says she wants to stay, I challenge you to find any reasons, hints, or build up within the story that gives a reason why she would make that choice.

* * *

_Brock came back with some food news._

_"Hey, everyone," he called. "Lunch is-" He saw no Max but Apple Bloom. "Who's she?"_

* * *

Oh come on, Brock wasn't even there to see the portal? He was so busy cooking that- augh! This story is bringing the worst out of me! And wait, "food news"? What the heck-NEVERMIND!

Maybe Team Rocket can make this story interesting.

* * *

_"So, that portal's where the pinky twerpette emerged from and now a fellow tiny twerp has replaced the other tiny twerp," Jessie replayed. "If we can get access to that portal, we can capture their friends and force the twerp to hand over his Pikachu and that girl." She thought that taking Twilight and the other ponies would force Ash to surrender his Pokémon. Not only was this rather crazy but even James and Meowth had serious doubts that it would work._

* * *

Okay, was Jessie crazy or stupid during Advanced Generation? Please, someone tell me what the heck is going on in this story.

So Spike sends Fluttershy's letter, which is weird cause you'd think Twilight Sparkle, Celestia's _faithful student,_ would have had the sense to send a letter to Celestia _immediately _after creating a _portal to another universe!_

Oh, and Sweetie Belle gives Pony!Max a tour of Ponyvile and I don't really care.

You know, _Friendship is Magic _is a great show with amazing characters. But this story makes everyone flat, boring, and doesn't give any of them any decent motivations! Why are they doing what they're doing? Don't ask me, I don't know!

* * *

_Chapter 6: Love Dropping Boundaries_

* * *

_After a day of touring around Ponyville, Max was ready to hit the hay. Joined by Pinkie Pie and Sweetie Belle, the human-turned-pony was feeling heavy in the hooves. "Man, this town's got just about everything," he neighed. "I never thought ponies did this much during the day. Applejack's farm's exhausting enough as it is." Pinkie Pie giggled at Max's comments, even willing to put her two bits in._

_"Yeah, it kinda makes reading with Twilight the easiest thing to do aside from being human," she compared. "But then again, she did invite you to go with her into the Everfree Forest to pick up some things from Zakura_

* * *

Okay, this guy is clearly not a fan of the show. Seriously, how do you mess up ZECORA'S name like that?

Well, luckily, something plot relevant happens. We get a visit from Luna, the Princess of the Night.

* * *

_As they entered their treehouse, a flying black combination of Pegasus and Unicorn swooped in, watching Twilight and Spike snuggle inside the house to camp for the night. Inside, Spike climbed up a ladder and laid on a small bed. Twilight was ready to call it a night when the door was knocked. This startled Twilight._

* * *

Luna isn't black, she's dark blue.

* * *

_"Who could that be at this time?" She opened the door to find the cross breed and that horn dwarfed hers by a lot. Still, she recognized the pony that came to visit. "P-Princess Luna?" Twilight on wobbly hooves allowed Luna to enter but she's a princess? We thought Celestia was the princess!_

* * *

Will you stop talking to us like idiots!

So, it turns out Luna has been looking for the book because it was somehow lost when the Royal Canterlot Library was cleaned. Wait, how does that explain how it got into the forest? Did a unicorn cast a teleportation spell on it by accident. Well I hope he was fired!

So Twilight gives Luna the book and tells her all about the portal and Fluttershy and the other world full of humans, and Luna says she'll tell Celestia about it.

You know something. . .

THIS STORY IS BORING!

Sure, it began good with _Grass Hysteria! _and the battles with Team Rocket, but now it's all just a load of boring exposition. You have Pokemon and ponies! Use them! Make them do something!

* * *

_"I may not be an expert on human behavior, mostly because humans are still pretty new to me and being in the skin of one and not in my normal fur," she studied. "But I think Fluttershy's got a crush to Ash like Miss Cheerile to Big Macintosh." May and Brock wanted to clean their ears at Apple Bloom's discovery._

_"Wait, Fluttershy and Ash together?" Brock stuttered. Apple Bloom, please explain._

_"Well, it's a lesson we Cutie Mark Crusaders learned the hard way. Of course, I think Ash is unaware that he's doing the right thing when it comes to love." Unaware of doing what? "You see, the right approach to love is not to approach it at all, instead let it come to you!" Ah, Apple Bloom thought Ash knew what it would take for love, something May would mock right off the explanation._

* * *

First of all, Cheerilee and Big Mac were in love because you gave them a love potion, and second of all, I don't care. All Ash is doing is going on and on about Gym Badges while he and Fluttershy both blush and look at each other. If you developed their connection better, I might be inclined to go along with this.

Well, now we head into _AG075: Whiscash and Ash,_ where Fluttershy talks to Nero the Whiscash and stops him from stealing Ash's badges, but a huge splash ends up knocking Ash and Fluttershy into each other, causing them to almost kiss. Seriously, why would you put Ash and Fluttershy together? Then we meet that guy who wants to catch him, Sullivan the fisherman. Quite frankly, this already wasn't a very interesting episode to begin with.

So Sullivan wants Fluttershy to lure Nero out of the lake so he can catch him.

* * *

_"I-uh...I don't know if..." she stuttered more but Ash decided to intervene._

_"You can't use her!" he refused. Sullivan was surprised to see resistance to his wish._

_"B-But...why not?" he gasped. Ash's eyes glared at the "fishing god" with piercing determination to deny the request._

_"Look, Fluttershy's talent isn't for sale. A legend like you doesn't need low-based tactics like having her goad Nero from hiding. Yes, she understands Pokémon but that's her own, not someone they can simply borrow." May and Pikachu were astonished with Ash standing up for Fluttershy...and he did have a point about Sullivan's title that he shouldn't use others to do his work. What "legend" needs help from others when he's turned techniques into a work of art?_

_"He's got a point," May supported. "Fluttershy's talent is sacred. We respect that it remains her own." It seemed that even May preferred Fluttershy to be with them for a while. Sullivan acted defeated. They were much younger than him but they knew better than to use abilities outside their own to achieve what they're after._

_"I see," he submitted. "I guess I got a little carried away when I saw her and Nero together. And I apologize for breaking your kiss, girl."_

* * *

On one hand, I'm pretty sure Fluttershy wouldn't mind helping someone out. But on the other hand, the honorable thing to do would be to catch a Pokemon with only your own skill and talent.

But this conversation is put to an end when the portal reappears, showing Princess Celestia with Max and the rest of the ponies.

Okay, so _Chapter 7: Elements of a New Form, _begins with more _exposition. _This time we have a boring discussion of whether the Elements of Harmony would work on Fluttershy in her human form, and it goes back and forth, and I'm not going to even bother.

But Celestia does do something interesting.

* * *

_Celestia's horn began to glow a gold light before she pointed her horn to Ash. Ash's head began to glow the same gold. At that moment, Celestia was seeing replays of Ash protecting the Pokémon from earlier before he met Fluttershy. All sorts of Pokémon Ash was guarding, including his Pikachu. Then came times with Fluttershy and how close he was with keeping her safe from Team Rocket. A few minutes after it began, Celestia ceased the glowing. She smiled sincerely at Ash who had a befuddled look on him._

_"Okay, what was that just now?" he wondered. Pinkie Pie and Max were also interested with what Celestia found._

_"What did you find out about Ash, Princess?" Pinkie Pie asked._

_"This boy has gone to great lengths to protect the creatures of that world and kept Fluttershy safe," she explained. "He could be worthy enough to be a member of the royal guard." A nervous smirk painted Ash. What, never received a compliment from a princess? Sullivan patted Ash on the shoulder, praising Ash's good past._

_"Now how often does a princess compliment your hard work over the years?" he teased._

* * *

But this moment is short-lived, because another one of Team Rocket's robots grabs Applebloom.

* * *

_A claw sprung out from the trees and snagged Apple Bloom, startling everyone._

_"AH!" she yelped as she was being taken hostage. All Applejack could do was call for her._

_"Apple Bloom!" she screeched. The humans used the claw and guided down to Team Rocket. Needless to say that Ash wasn't happy._

_"You release Apple Bloom right now, Team Rocket!" he demanded. Jessie could care less about the tone Ash roared out._

_"Are you forgetting that we're the adults in this scenario?" she mocked. "If you wanna save this tiny pony twerp, hand over the girl and your Pikachu!" Ash couldn't gamble on losing Apple Bloom, Fluttershy or Pikachu. Apparently, they forgot about a certain Pokémon in the pond. Nero sprung from the lake and fired a stream of water, a bull's-eye to the joint of the claw. The claw buckled and released Apple Bloom where she scampered all the way back into Equestria, back to her pony form._

_"You okay, sis?" Applejack asked._

_"Am, now!" Apple Bloom answered to her big sister's relief. Fluttershy was glad that Apple Bloom was out of danger, turning to the Whiscash that saved her._

_"Thank you, Nero," she praised._

* * *

Wow, I guess Nero's a nice guy.

* * *

_"It's not over yet!" Meowth tried to reason, his big Meowth alerting Rarity. "We still have seven more claws to wrangle the other horses!" The thought nearly blew passed Jessie._

* * *

Don't you mean "big mouth"?

* * *

_"Oh, yeah." Picking up a controller, Jessie activated the other claws, no doubt meant for the other ponies to grab._

_"It seems those vile humans want to ensnare us in their little game," she seethed. The claws lunged toward the portal right at Celestia._

_"Not so fast, Team Rocket!" Max denied as he leaped into the path of the claws. A claw caught Max but the momentum launched the claw into other claws, knocking them out of the pathways. It also propelled Max through the portal where he's reverted back to human. Pinkie Pie wasn't worried that Max was back to his normal body. She was frantic about his health._

_"Max!" she neighed. Ash saw his little buddy in trouble._

_"Pikachu, use Iron Tail to break Max free!" Ash instructed. Pikachu leaped up, smacking the arm to the claw with a white glowing tail. The swipe broke the arm into pieces and Jessie was... Jessie? Hello! Earth to Jessie! Why was she looking spaced out?_

_"Hold on a second..." she began to realize. "When someone enters the portal, they turn into a horse? When someone exits it, they turn into human?" She finally figured out the trade-off about the portals fixed between the Pokémon World and Equestria._

_"That's what we've been trying to explain to you the other day," Meowth backtracked._

* * *

Oh please, I'm pretty sure Jessie isn't supposed to be stupid.

So Sulivan's Flaafy and Nero the Whiscash do a combination attack to blow up the robot.

* * *

_However, the team emerged on a hot air balloon with Meowth's inflated ego carrying them...scratch that, it's just a head. Under the basket, two more armed claws. Were they on discount in a nearby mechanical store? Realizing the danger, Celestia brought forth a strange book. Rarity saw what it was._

_"Are you sure you wanna use the Elements of Harmony, Princess Celestia?" she questioned._

_"Despite my doubts, I'm willing to try and summon the Elements of Harmony," Celestia gambled. "We need to purge these 'minions' from those willing to protect."_

* * *

Oh, come on! It's a hot air balloon. All they need to do is have Pikachu use Thunderbolt. And better yet, if magic can go through the portal, why doesn't Celestia just fire a magic lazer through the portal and pop the balloon. Compared to the other times the Elements were used, fighting Team Rocket with them seems like overkill.

* * *

_Rainbow opened the case and pulled out a gold necklace with a pink gem in the shape of a butterfly._

_"Fluttershy, catch!" she yelled as she flung the necklace to their humanoid friend. She slipped the necklace around her neck as did Rainbow,Applejack, Pinkie Pie and Rarity. Twilight dressed a gold tiara crown that had a magenta star gem above. What, Celestia doesn't get one? Neither Spike?_

* * *

_(Keldeo fell flat on the ground and repeatedly banged his head on the ground)_

Is this author trying to be stupid. I mean, I don't get it. Why make all these weird comments as if you've never seen the show before?

So the ponies all jump through the portal and turn into humans and activate the Elements.

* * *

_"Ash, provide me a little yellow light!" she requested. Ash wondered why Twilight wanted a yellow light, less know why she gazed at Pikachu. Whatever it was, he had to trust her word._

_"Okay!" he replied. "Pikachu, Thunderbolt!" Pikachu fired a Thunderbolt which hit Twilight...but wasn't shocking her. Instead, the tiara absorbed the lightning, transmitting it into a light which swirled around the other girls in a rainbow shield. Team Rocket watched in awe, not realizing their demise._

* * *

Wait, so the Element of Magic runs off of Electricity? That doesn't make any sense! This story is just so bizzare.

_"Whether you battle with our favorite colt or us, forever you will be defeated and your organization shall fall! After all, we're all friends...and friendship is magic!" She summoned a wave of color up at the balloon as the arms lunged out. When they collided, the colors sheared through the arms, destroying it while flying up to the balloon. The colors consumed the balloon in a flashy rainbow tornado, spinning the balloon and turning Team Rocket topsy-turvy. Finally, the rainbow collapsed in, crushing the machine, the balloon and the Rockets before...KABOOM! That was a huge blast as the colors destroyed what was in the sky...but Team Rocket. They were sent flying._

_"Elements of Harmony, huh?" James calmly reflected._

_"More like Elements of...Getting Your Tail Kicked!" Meowth snarled loudly._

_"Guess we were horsing around the idea a bit much," Jessie punned, something Meowth wanted to scratch her for._

_"I want to use my Fury Swipes on you but we've already been pun-ished enough!" Finally they were sailing over the mountains._

_"Looks like Team Rocket's blasting off again!" they yelled in unison._

* * *

Why do the Elements of Harmony just send them blasting off? Shouldn't it make them good or something? Oh, sweet biscuits, let's just end it already.

So Fluttershy is sad that she has to leave because of her. . .feelings. . .for Ash. Luckily, Celestia will let here come back and visit.

* * *

_"These humans are creatures we can depend on in times of need," Celestia expressed. "Perhaps it was fate that brought the misplaced spell book to you and fate that brought Fluttershy to this world of humans and creatures. These humans have shown the care you've shown to your bunnies, birds, otters and what-not by your cottage." If anything, Fluttershy could visit him whenever she can without repercussion. Even the Cutie Mark Crusaders wonder if this could also apply to them as well._

_"Does that mean we can go to their world, too?" Sweetie Belle asked. Twilight smiled, no big deal to her._

_"Of course," she answered. "But you need to earn that trust if you want access." The crusaders groaned, feeling rather dejected. What, finding that lost spell book not enough? Oh, wait. That caused the problems in the first place._

* * *

Alright, so you know the drill, a sad goodbye, Ash and Fluttershy kiss, Max and Pinkie Pie kiss- wait, I thought Max like Sweetie Belle? Oh and Rarity like Brock. Wha-? And would you believe that this story has some kind of message at the end:

* * *

_It didn't matter that Fluttershy was a pony, albeit a Pegasus pony, and Ash was a human. Love defies who or what we are. Ash and Fluttershy, Max and Pinkie Pie...they were just two examples that being one or the other was meaningless._

* * *

_THE END_

* * *

Alright, I'm done.

Wow. . .that was bad. I mean, the idea sound kind of interesting, but the execution was terrible. The action was disappointing, the description were distracting, the narrator's comments were annoying, Jessie was stupid, the characters were bland, the romance was shallow and out of left field, there was no build up, things were brought up and just dropped for no reason, there was no humor, and Fluttershy was creepy, rude, and insulting. This is worse than _"Dusk's Dawn". _Yeah, I went there.

So everyone who thought _Equestria Girls _was bad should give this story a read. This story had no real pacing and had a lot of places where the plot just sat still and nothing interesting happened, We were just retold what we already knew. And what's worse, there were so many times for emotional moments between characters, but none of them were used. All we got was Fluttershy crying while looking at a picture. How about Fluttershy getting mad over animals fighting each other?

It's Fanfics like this that make me glad that there are so many better ones out there. Also, don't you dare judge the actual series based off of this. Because no matter how many lousy Fanfics people right _Friendship is Magic _is awesome!

I'm Keldeo the Critic, and I just reviewed a Pokemon/My Little Pony Crossover Fanfiction!

* * *

**THE END**

Performed by Keldeo of the Swords of Justice

**_Credits_**

_Portal- _Valve

_Bum Reviews_

_Friendship is Witchcraft - "__Cute From The Hip_" by Sherclop Pones

_"Pinkie's Brew" _by Sherclop Pones

_Equestria Girls _by Hasbro

_Dusk's Dawn _by Project Interlude

_Nostalgia Critic- The Cat in the Hat_

_Super Paper Mario- _Nintendo

_Time Warp Trio- _Discovery Kids

_Stanley- _Disney

**Special Thanks**

_Bulbapedia_

_**The comments expressed in this review are written in such a way so that negative aspects are used to create jokes. There will NOT be any bashing or ranting. Also, good things in a FanFic will be praised. Particularly bad FanFictions WON'T**** be totally thrashed, but expect to see major grievances addressed.**_

_**(This was a parody of the Nostalgia Critic by Doug Walker on That Guy With The Glasses)**_


	5. E1- How Cannon is LagomorphShippping?

_**The review must go on!**_

Keldeo reared up on his hind legs, his expression serious and his Secret Sword raised and glowing brightly.

**Keldeo the Critic**

**Editorial 1- How Cannon is LagomorphShipping?**

It's me! Keldeo The Critic! I review Pokemon FanFiction when I'm not training with the other Swords of Justice!

We all know what LagomorphShipping. . .unless you're one of the people who stopped watching the Anime at Diamond and Pearl. Well, LagomorphShipping is a romantic relationship between Ash's Pikachu and Dawn's Buneary.

Now, you all know that I support NegaiShipping, Ash and Iris, and that I also showed support for LagomorphShipping when I reviewed _Pokemon Duels of Destiny Ordeal with Orichalcos _by MewLover54_. _Now, there is a very huge difference between these two shippings. In fact, LagomorphShipping is unlike any other shipping in the Anime. Why? Well, let's take a look.

Buneary is introduced into the show in _DP009- Setting the World on its Buneary!._The wild Pokemon sees Pikachu's smooth moves and goes through "love at first sight." During the episode, Buneary and Pikachu interact a lot. After saving Pikachu from getting run over by Officer Jenny, Buneary hugs him, nuzzles him, and spins him around throughout the episode. She then gets captured by Team Rocket, forcing Pikachu to save her. After all this, Dawn catches her, allowing Buneary to fawn over Pikachu as much as she wants.

Throughout the series, and during a few scenes of this episode, it seems pretty clear what's going on here. "Sonic and Amy! Spyro and Ember! Bugs and Lola!" everyone shouted. Everyone was certain that Buneary was the clingy love interest and Pikachu was the poor uninterested victim who just wanted to be left alone. And the fact that when Dawn and Ash go their separate ways without a single goodbye scene between the two, it seemed as if this Shipping was another clingy girlfriend joke. . .

_(Keldeo raised an eyebrow)_

. . .or _is it?_

If Buneary never appeared in the anime again, maybe this could be considered a romance palyed for laughs. But in an episode of _Pokemon Black and White, _a whole other Generation, Dawn returns with Buneary. In _Piplup, Pansage, and a Meeting of the Times!, _Pikachu spots Buneary hiding behind Mamoswine, and actually calls her over. What's more, when Buneary walks over to him, Pikachu smiles and allows Buneary to be near him. Why would they include this is Buneary's romance was just a one sided joke?

So the question remains: _Are_ they in love? Well, let's really look at the story again.

Pikachu is a friendly Pokemon and will always be kind to his friends, but with Buneary, things are different. When Team Rocket caught Buneary, Pikachu actually gave himself up when he couldn't save her. That's quite a selflesh gesture, even for Pikachu. You'd think he keep trying no matter what You can make all the arguments you want, but in the minds of Pikachu and Buenary one thing is clear: Buneary saved Pikachu's life.

But does that automatically mean that they're in love? Well, one detail in this story is that after Buneary saves Pikachu's life, she freezes everybody so she can dance with him. Pikachu actually gets mad at Buneary, wrenches free, and scolds Buneary for her actions, making her cry. Sure, he feels bad for doing that, but he still did it. Buneary saves his life and they're in love, huh? Maybe not.

Well, here's a wild idea I'm just going to put out there: maybe Buneary saving Pikachu's life connected them in a different way. A way different than Pikachu's friendships with Piplup, Axew, Chimchar, or any other Pokemon he's friends with. This connection is much higher than normal friendship, but it's not romance either. It has the potential to go there, and it appears to be growing, but as of now, their relationship is stuck as a warm closeness, bound to each other with an unbreakable link.

Just like Ash and Pikachu.

_(Keldeo held up a hoof to say "stop" while gaining a nervous look)_

Now, bestiality's disgusting. I hate it. Believe me. What I _mean_ is that in the very first episode of the Anime, Ash saves Pikachu's life from a flock of Spearow, allowing himself to be injured in the process. Now, look how close Pikachu and Ash are. Pikachu knows how devoted Ash is to him, and how he will do anything to keep him safe and happy. So, throughout the series, Pikachu has returned to favor, pushing himself to win battles and protect Ash from any antagonist they come across. It all began with Ash saving Pikachu's life, and increased by the fact that Ash actually took on pain himself during the process. Now, with them being both male and different species, this bond between them took the form of a strong brotherhood unlike _"Kevin and Buizel"._ The two are inseperable.

Now, going back to Pikachu and Buneary, adding in the fact that Buneary saved his life, but never showed any self sacrifice, it is assumed that the slightly less strong bond in combination to a few _*ahem* _hormones, produced a sense of romantic love. But Pikachu does seem uncomfortable around Buneary throughout _Diamond and Pearl_, but maybe that can be due to Buneary's love struck nature. Remember, Pikachu has always been a professional battler with undying devotion to his trainer. But when something new comes along, something different, and something so "in his face" like a love struck Buneary, he steps back in fear of the unknown, unsure of all the complicated things happening in his body. He might have even been conditioned to frown upon romance due to Brock's obsession over Nurse Joy and Officer Jenny and other women.

But after spending so much time away from Buneary, and away from Brock, in _Pokemon Black and White,_ and then seeing Buneary looking shy and nervous, perhaps he felt that now was the time to re-experience those different emotions. Building upon that, perhaps Buneary's shyness is evidence that Buneary's time away from Pikachu mellowed her and caused her to change her methods. But they still end up splitting up without a word when Dawn leaves, so how strong is their love? Well, think about where their relationship has gone. From tight Amy Rose hugs to gentle nuzzles, huh. . .

Maybe in _Piplup, Pansage, and a Meeting of the Times!,_ it all suddenly hits them what's been going on between them and what they might have to commit to. When they really think of the life paths they have been given, they begin to wonder how far their relationship really needs to go. To the point where they agree that a Long Distance Relationship can suffice for the time being. Perhaps they've made plans to get together upon their Trainer's retirements.

So this isn't a simple case of "Amy and Sonic" or "Lola and Bugs" or "Ember and Spyro". But if that's what you see, then who am I to stop you?

But for those who think that it isn't anything more and that it should be criticized for be nothing _but_ that, I ask to imagine how _you_ would react to having romantic feelings for the first time while being constantly hugged and fussed over by an overly attached potential girlfriend, and the choices you made. Question how Pikachu's feelings towards Buneary would change after being separated from Buneary for an extended period of time without saying goodbye, and how your feelings would change if _you_ were separated from a innocent smiling girl who cared so much about you.

_(Keldeo smiled and thoughtfully tapped the side of his snout with his left hoof)_

Maybe you'll see that scene in _Piplup, Pansage, and a Meeting of the Times! _a little differently. Maybe you'll see the subtle hints like Pikachu complimenting Buneary's vest in _The Bells Are Signing! _a little differently. Or the fact that they both rejected a crush from a genderless Pokemon a little differently. Or Dawn's Quilava laughing when Iris and Cilan comment on Buneary liking Pikachu a little differently.

For me, this is the relationship I always saw. And maybe you saw it to, or maybe you saw a different one. But if you want a second opinion, take a look at this passage from the amazing Fanfic _"Cupid Wears Buneary Ears"_ by Aiselne Phoenix Nocturnus:

* * *

_Buneary believed in fairytale endings: the couples fall in love, kiss, and live happily ever after. But that did not happen here. Instead, Pikachu sought the longer road. This was no "happy ending," because this was not an "ending" at all! This was only a beginning. And since this was just the beginning, how was Buneary to know that there would ever be a happy ending? There was no way to know._

_And that was the point._

_Pikachu said it himself, "Nobody knows what the future holds."_

_But Pikachu also said, "I do like you."_

_Buneary wanted to live happily ever after, but she also wanted Pikachu to return her feelings. The naïve little bunny never thought she would have to choose between love and happiness, because Buneary thought one guaranteed the other. Was she greedy to want both? Perhaps. But right now, Buneary might never know if she would be happy with Pikachu unless they took the first step._

_Apparently, romance novels and soap operas were just works of fiction, not reality. But fiction was truthful in one element of love: it changed people, and Pokemon. Without any doubt in her mind, Buneary was not the same Pokemon she was last night. She was perfectly content, too._

_Finally returning Pikachu's hug, Buneary closed watery eyes and nuzzled her face in the crook of her yellow beloved's neck. Her heart fluttered like Yanmega's wings, but Buneary could feel Pikachu's heart do the same. If this moment was just a beginning, Buneary looked forward to the rest of her and Pikachu's new story._

* * *

And if you're still not convinced that LegomorphShipping is the right choice, check out _"Pika and Bun's One-shot Wonders" _by ravengal.

* * *

_Piplup was the first to burst out laughing, then the rest of them joined in. Croagunk merely stared at him._

_"(Dawww!)" Pachirisu said. "(Pikachu's in loooove!)"_

_"(Guys...)"_

_"(So, Buneary's your mate now, huh?)" Buizel asked._

_"(It's about time!)" Piplup added._

_"(Yeah, no kidding!)" Chimchar said._

_"(Guys...)" Pikachu replied weakly, "(you know that was just...)" He looked at Buneary, halting when he saw just how bright red her face was._

_She stared at him for a moment, fiddling with the fur around her waist. "(E-Eep!)" she squeaked, pulling it over her face._

_"(Man,)" Piplup said, "(if only our trainers could understand us! I'd have a story and a half to tell Dawn!)"_

* * *

_(Keldeo smiles nervously)_

Love is hard.

I'm Keldeo the Critic and I review Pokemon Fanfiction.

* * *

**THE END**

Performed by Keldeo of the Swords of Justice

**_Credits_**

_Nostalgia Critic- WTF Is Up With The Ending of The Graduate?_

___Pokemon Duels of Destiny Ordeal with Orichalcos _by MewLover54

_Cupid Wears Buneary Ears_ by Aiselne Phoenix Nocturnus

_Pika and Bun's One-shot Wonders _by ravengal

_Kevin and Buizel _by SukottoDeragon

**Special Thanks**

_Bulbapedia_

_**The comments expressed in this review are written in such a way so that negative aspects are used to create jokes. There will NOT be any bashing or ranting. Also, good things in a FanFic will be praised. Particularly bad FanFictions WON'T**** be totally thrashed, but expect to see major grievances addressed.**_

_**(This was a parody of the Nostalgia Critic by Doug Walker on That Guy With The Glasses)**_


	6. Process of Elimination

_SLASH-BOOOOOM!_

The wall was blown apart by Keldeo's Focus Blast.

_**The review must go on!**_

Keldeo activated his Secret Sword and swung it.

Keldeo sprayed water from his hooves, putting out the forest fire around him.

Keldeo slid across the icy ground and gave Kyurem a kick in the face.

_**The review must go on!**_

Keldeo growled angrily at Ash, but then ran and put his head under a water fountain to cool off.

_**That's the theme of this song!**_

_**Although the waits may be long,**_

Keldeo cried out as Honchkrow hit him with Perish Song.

Keldeo and Ryan the Reviewer fought on a cliff top, Secret Sword and Bone Rush clashing over and over.

Keldeo and Ash gobbled down food, but then started to choke and began moving their head in an attempt to swallow.

**_I am a Swords of Justice. . ._**

Keldeo ran through memories of him with Terrakion, Virizion, and Coballion, and jumped, turning into his Resolute Form in mid air with a flash of light.

_**The review must go on!**_

Keldeo reared up on his hind legs, his expression serious and his Secret Sword raised and glowing brightly.

**Keldeo the Critic**

**"Process of Elimination" by Mable**

It's me! Keldeo The Critic! I review Pokemon FanFiction when I'm not training with the other Swords of Justice!

This is one of those stories that doesn't even _need _an introduction. I don't need to say anything about it. All you got a do is read the details under the summary.

* * *

_**Process of Elimination**_

_Author: Mable_

_While raiding their campsite, Meowth comes across Dawn's diary where he learns a shocking secret using the process of Elimination. Is the secret true or is their something else beyond the mere conclusion?_

_Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Meowth/Nyarth & Dawn/Hikari - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,868 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 10 - Published: 10-21-10 - Status: Complete - id: 6416671_

* * *

If you find nothing wrong with this premise, you're overdue for a head examination. This is _Process of Elimination._

Meowth and Dawn shipping. How can you even say that with a straight face? _Meowth and Dawn._ And I thought _Krazyshipping_ was stupid! I cannot begin to express what is wrong with this premise. Of course, all of you who _don't _see anything wrong with this, GET SOME PSYCHOLOGICAL HELP! But maybe I'm getting a little carried away. I mean, it can't be that bad. What matters in the end is if this story all comes to together. Well then, does it?

_(Keldeo blinked and looked around. He shook and suddenly hopped with rage to emphasize his words)_

It's Meowth and Dawn ship- GAH! This is _Process of Elimination. . ._

* * *

**__****Mable: My first actual three shot, a one shot consisting of three chapters… Maybe this is just considered a short fic…. Oh well. This is to Meowth's Toon Dragon who has inspired me so much and has been a really great friend. I know I have a lot of fics that aren't finished… But this is already completed so I don't think it's a pile up. Anyway, I don't own Pokemon, Enjoy!**

* * *

So, it has three parts. Kinda like a play, or a movie. . .a creepy play or movie.

_("It'll Be Okay" from Friendship is Witchcraft starts to play)_

_He taught me how to fly a kite  
I watched him grow into a stallion  
I watched him sleep in bed at night  
It's not creepy_

SHUT-UP! It _is_ creepy! Curse you Sherclop Pones, I hope _Anonymous_ takes you down.

So, Dawn, Brock, and Ash are all at a Pokemon Contest, leaving their campsite empty. Unfortunately, this allowed Team Rocket to send in Meowth to find our heroes' Gym Badges and Contest Ribbons.

* * *

_So now he was digging through Dawn's tent for the ribbon case only to find nothing. Then something caught his eye, something shiny and glittery shoved into the bottom of the bag underneath a mess of stuff. Here was the cat like reflexes that caused him to immediately jolt down and clutched the object as though it contained the answer to the meaning of life. It didn't contain much of the sort as Meowth noted when he flipped the first page open._

_"This is just the Twerpette's diary…" Meowth said slowly as if trying to force a disappointed tone. He tapped on the book twice before slowly glancing out of the tent as if to make sure he was alone. "Curiosity killed the cat… But my lucks been running pretty good so…" He opened the book on a more recent page, not noticing the dates since she seemed to have an entry for every night anyway. The third to last entry was where Meowth stopped and read._

* * *

So Meowth reads Dawn's diary and discovers that she has a secret crush on someone.

_(Keldeo put on naïve expression and put a hoof to his chin)_

Oh my! I wonder who it could be?

_Portal 2 Announcer: "Sarcasm Sphere Self-Test Complete."_

* * *

_Dear Diary, I saw him again today. He's so adorable that I just want to hug him and never let him go! I just don't understand why he has to be so… Him. I mean, I guess I like him because he's misunderstood, taken for granite, and below that 'bad' exterior is something sweet. I think he acts like that to hide his sweetness. When he appears it's both joyous, mostly for me, and annoying, for Ash and Brock, who has to deal with Ash._

_"I expected this, it's that purple haired twerp who abuses his Pokemon. Sweetness? Under that?" Meowth gave a small smirk, "I guess this is what they mean when they talk about being lovesick." _

* * *

_(Keldeo's eyes widened)_

NO! NO! Paul doesn't have an _ounce _of goodness in him! He is a sick sociopath!

_(A PSA voice starts talking while dramatic music plays in the background)_

_"Yes, Paul! Paul likes to spend most of his time hurting Pokemon because-"_

Yeah, yeah, we know. It wasn't that funny when we did that in Season One either.

* * *

_He knew that his allies were waiting for him to return but he was officially engrossed. This had to be the only book that ever caught his full attention, other than that weird book about the girl falling down the rabbit hole, but that had been years ago._

* * *

Well this was a failed opportunity for a joke. Why didn't you say "Buneary hole"? It would've fit better in the Pokemon Universe that way. And I'm pretty sure we would have still gotten the "_Alice in Wonderland" _reference.

And also, the idea of Meowth sitting down reading novels is actually kinda surreal.

_(We cut to a private library with shelves full of books as classical music plays in the background. Next to a roaring fire place sits Meowth in a very comfortable looking armchair. Meowth looks up from the book he is reading and smiles)_

_"Good evening. And welcome to 'Meowth's Mid-afternoon Book Reviews'. Today's review: . . .'Malice in Wonderland!' Ah-ha! Get it? Malice in Wonderland! Like that episode where the Mismagius-"_

_(Meowth was suddenly assaulted by boos and rotten tomatoes. He quickly jumped out of the chair and ran out the door, slamming it behind him.)_

And also, why doesn't Meowth just steal the diary and run back to Jessie and James? He was sent their to steal stuff anyway, and the heroes must have taken their valuables with them, so why doesn't Meowth just take the diary instead of sitting there and risk getting caught.

* * *

_"Got to keep quiet unless I want my luck to run out, great time for the twerps to pop up. 'Hey, I'm here reading you diary. Come hit me with an electrical attack.'" The small joke actually made Meowth loosen up a bit so he could continue reading._

* * *

Aw come on, Meowth, use your brain.

* * *

_Next entry changed everything._

_Dear Diary, Ash is being so annoying, he won't stop talking about how excited he is for the Pokemon League. I never get to do anything but hear about how he wants to win. Anyway, I saw him AGAIN. As usual he was trying to attack us with those two other clowns. I'll be honest, I don't understand why he hangs out with them. I'm sure he'd feel right at home with me. His beautiful blue eyes, those little smiles I get to see, he sure is something._

_"Oh wait, wait, wait. I get it." Meowth gave a small smirk, "She's got a thing for James. That's kind of cute. I'm sure he'd love to hear that he's got a fan…" It was about that time that something stuck out from the page and the smirk dropped, "Wait a minute… James' eyes are green." He looked back at the page and saw it was clearly written 'blue', "Maybe it's a miss print… Maybe she thought his eyes were blue…." However somewhere Meowth knew it was practically impossible to think James' eyes were blue, especially when they were seen so frequently and were quite bold. At this point he started to panic and flipped back about twenty pages._

_Again Dawn had written down 'blue' eyes. She had also added 'like the ocean at night' which proved she meant blue. Meowth stared at the book in shock, "Wait no, I'm screwing up here. Okay… Yes it says blue… Yeah… Attacks with two others… There's got to be… Did Butch attack… Does Butch HAVE… But that Raticate wouldn't be considered…." He bit his lip hard and tasted a bit of copper in his mouth, "This has got to be a joke…" He blinked a little since his eyes were hurting from staring, "Or… The Twerpette has a crush on… me…" Nothing could stop the redness that overtook his cheeks as he tried to comprehend. "I don't understand. She's a human… But that's the only answer."_

_The process of elimination pointed only to this answer: Dawn had a crush on Meowth._

* * *

Okay, story, are you seriously doing this? I mean. . .why? I don't get it? Is there some kind of misunderstanding going on? I hope. But I can't get anything else form these diary entries? Is there a twist going on! Argh! This story is weird.

_("It'll Be Okay" starts up again)_

_I gave you my heart and then you turned around  
The secrets that we shared, the moments that you cared_

SHUT-UP!

So in Part 2 of this story,

* * *

_Part Two_

_When Dawn got back to the campsite she was surprised to see her diary outside her bag, "Oh no… Guys? Did either of you go through my bag?" Ash shook his head, "We were with you. We couldn't have gone through your stuff." Still she was a little discouraged with her hands on her hip, "Well my diary was out and I know that's something you'd do." Her answer was received when Ash sent a small smile that looked like it was about to turn and become a bought of laughter, "You have a diary?" Dawn rolled her eyes and went back into her tent to hide the precious book from anyone else._

* * *

Uh. . .so Ash finds Dawn having a diary hilarious?

_(Keldeo scratched his head)_

How is that funny? It's not a joke, it's a fact. That's like me saying "I am a pony", what's the point?

_(There was suddenly to sound of an audience bursting out in laughter. Keldeo frowned and narrowed his eyes, looking slightly fed up with it.)_

Alright, so meanwhile, Meowth is going through some inner conflicts about what he read in Dawn's diary.

* * *

_Every second was focused on Dawn and the question: "How could she possibly…" at that point the question would be cut off and Meowth would desperately fight the blush._

_Meowth has a few times in his life when he had been in love, or more like crushes, but never had anyone actually have feelings for HIM. The Skittys, Meowzy, nothing ever ended up well when it was between him and a female. It didn't add up why DAWN, Ms. Goody goody coordinator, would like a POKEMON, especially one like Meowth. With all these thoughts in his head he barely got any sleep the night before and was now spending the balloon ride with a splitting headache and no answers. Jessie and James noticed a difference in behavior but didn't know how serious this problem was._

_"Alright, what's going on?" At this the cat tried to look away as a blush crept on his cheeks again, "I don't know what you're talking about."_

_"Oh yes you do. Ever since you went to the twerp's camp you've been acting weird."_

_"I'm just tired. I almost got caught, I didn't find anything. Kind of a letdown." It was amazing how this lie was taken as the truth. "It's nothing Meowth. Don't let it get to you." James said to the Pokémon before smiling, "That was just a pot shot. Nothing like this new plan that will work." Meowth shrugged and sighed to himself, "(Yeah, a new plan might get my mind off of this whole thing…)"_

* * *

You know, I like Meowth's thinking here. It also brings up many of Meowth's previous girlfriends. It's also funny how he's had more of them in Black and White. Like Purrloin and Luke's Zorua. I also like how he's split and confused and torn up about this discovery.

* * *

_It was noon when Brock cooked a small lunch that was followed up by the camp being put away. The three started toward the next city where Ash would get his last badge so he could enter the Pokemon league. "I don't know about you guys but I can't wait to get to the Pokemon Center for a shower and a real bed." Instead Ash smirked, "I bet you want privacy so you can write in your diary. All your secrets, like your REAL hair color." Dawn looked at her blue locks before glaring, "I don't dye my hair!"_

_"Sure you don't!" Ash said running ahead so that she couldn't hit him with her bag, "He's just living it up isn't he?"_

* * *

Okay, okay, okay, answer me this. Why is Ash a jerk? I mean, when has Ash ever bullied or made fun of his friends in anyway? It's like, whenever a sotry is told form the villain's point of view, the author always has to make the good guys look like jerks! In Mario Fanfiction, if it's about Bowser and the Koopalings, they make Mario look bad. And now Ash? Why is that? The only reason Brock and Dawn are spared is because Brock isn't given any attention and Dawn is the. . .ugggh. . ._love interest. _I mean, for goodness sake, most of the time Ash is the one being made fun of by Misty, or Dawn, or Iris. . .wow, Ash lets girls walk all over him. Seriously, Ash,_ I_ don't let Meloetta walk all over me! I'm the one in control!

_(Meloetta appeared right behind him with her arms folded and a frown on her face)_

_"Ahem!"_

_(Keldeo had an "oh crud" expression on his face)_

Oh. . .um. . .I'm sorry Meloetta!

_(Meloetta smile and patted his head.)_

_"Don't worry, I forgive you. . .Sombra Junior."_

HEY!

_(Meloetta giggled and disappeared.)_

Well. . .back to the story. Team Rocket actually gets smart and uses knock-out gas, something they should've thought out a long time ago! And this written before the competent Unova Team Rocket even debuted!

* * *

_This question would have been answered if not for the canister that suddenly fell from the sky in front of them. Suddenly it started to release an orange gas, Dawn and Brock coughed and covered their faces. When Ash noticed what was happening he started to run back towards them, only to be hit in the head with a separate canister. On the ground and coughing uncontrollably, Ash slowly felt the energy leave his body, "W-What…" Then he collapsed with Pikachu who was also affected by the gas. After him fell Brock and Dawn who were feet away._

_That was when the balloon was lowered and Jessie, James, and Meowth came out with gas masks. Immediately Jessie grabbed Pikachu and she started to wrap him in a rope, then put him in a capsule, and then put the capsule in a cage. Meowth smirked, "Over kill Jessie?"_

* * *

Okay, that was kinda funny.

Well, this could be a fan version of a "Team Rocket wins and the series is over" Fanfic. However, as Team Rocket steals all the Pokemon, Meowth decides to leave Piplup's Pokeball with Dawn because of the whole diary entry thing.

_(Keldeo ground his teeth and spoke stiffly)_

Yeah, good thing they waited until Meowth read Dawn's diary before they came up with something as obvious as "use knockout gas"! Plot convenience for the darn win!

* * *

_When Meowth saw Dawn, lying there on the ground with a peaceful look on her face ever though she had been drug, guilt welled up in him._

_Someone loved him and he was going to take her life from her. Meowth knew he'd regret his next action, but still left Piplup's Poke ball in the blunette's hand so that she'd have a chance to fight for her Pokémon. Risking his own happiness for the happiness of a girl with a crush on him; very unselfish, but in the end Meowth wasn't too concerned with having this plan work anyway. Best leaving with a feeling that he actually proved that he could be the person Dawn wrote about in her diary._

* * *

However, since this is apparently competent Unova Team Rocket, Jessie and James discover that one of Dawn's Pokeball's is missing.

* * *

_"Wait." Meowth flinched as soon as Jessie interrupted James, "Wait, one of the Twerpette's Poke Balls isn't here!" The Cat Pokemon now regretted his earlier decision to leave Piplup with Dawn as James spoke, "Are you sure?" The red head's temper flared, "Yes, James! The Twerpette's all have seals on them, only three have seals and the number doesn't add up right! One of the Pokemon isn't here! Meowth, I though you got them all?" Now was the moment to spin another lie, "Well you see… I was getting them but…" When he saw Jessie's glare he knew nothing would defend him now, so why not blurt out the truth? "I left one. (Why in the h-)"_

_"You what?" Jessie cried shaking poor Meowth like a ragdoll, "We created the perfect plan and you ruined it? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?" Putting him down she glared, expecting an answer but only receiving this weird silence. This was a great time for 'the cat to get his tongue' and he kept this weird series of glances around. Jessie placed a hand to her head, "Okay, the plans not ruined, but what's going on. Two days, nonstop, you're acting weird." Both of his teammates stared at him, one with concern and the other with annoyance, until finally he couldn't take it._

_"It's nothing I just… When I went into the camp I found Dawn's…Err the Twerpette's…" Now Meowth was actually slipping up and calling her by her first name, this caused the two's glare to ease as they noticed something going on, "I found her diary and read it…" Jessie rolled her eyes, "What's it with guys trying to read girl's diaries?" Meowth ignored and continued, "She wrote in it that she liked me… That she had a crush on me…" Suddenly his cheeks turned pink, his blush quiet visible through his fur. He shook his head a little and sighed, "I don't know… I… Umm…. Well…"_

_With this Jessie perked up, "Wait! Meowth! What you said! Maybe we still have a chance that our plan will work." When Jessie and James talked separate from him, Meowth knew this wasn't going to be good._

* * *

Uh. . .shouldn't they be a little. . .concerned that a human girl allegedly has a crush on Meowth? Are they just gonna ignore this? Isn't anyone going to acknowledge how creepy this all is!?

_("It'll Be Okay" started up again)_

_I gave you my heart and then you turned around  
Depressing melodies, suppressing fantasies_

Oh, go write a _Family Guy _episode, Sherclop!

_Finally!_ The last part of the story!

* * *

_**Process of Elimination **_

_Part three_

_Needless to say; when Ash, Dawn, and Brock awoke they were beyond upset to find their Pokemon gone. Even with Piplup still with her, Dawn felt far from lucky and Ash was ready to fistfight Team Rocket. However, Brock calmed him down, "They couldn't have gotten far away. We'll get them." After a few minutes of looking around they caught sight of the balloon which was only hovering about eighteen feet off the ground, "Hey!" Ash screamed up at the balloon. In the balloon Jessie and James were attempting to put together a new plan, "So we need to dangle him by a rope and-" "Hey!" Ash cried up again to get their attention. Jessie leaned over the basket to glare at him, "What do you want Twerp? We're putting together a plan here!"_

_The Pokemon Trainer from Pallet growled, "Give me back Pikachu!" Knowing this wouldn't work Dawn broke in, "Piplup use…" Before she could finished James chimed up, "You won't want to do that." He said with an uneasy look as though he had no ideas what he was doing, "Because if you do we'll hurt him." This caused the three to look at each other in confusion before Dawn spoke, "Who? Pikachu?" James shook his head, "No. HIM."_

_Behind Jessie was Meowth standing on the edge of the balloon and out of sight, "Come on guys…." He said softly, "This has got to be the worst plan yet."_

* * *

Wait a minute! You already have Pikachu! You can leave now! You don't have to catch Piplup too! I get the whole "Don't attack or we'll hurt Meowth" plan, but what's the point? They don't demand they hand over Piplup or anything, so what's going on.

My only guess is that the knockout gas wears off quickly, so they wouldn't get very far with their balloon, hence the reason why they had to steal _all _of the other Pokemon along with Pikachu, because . . . .apparently. . .any Pokemon could knock out their balloon.

Well, it turns out Dawn doesn't care about Meowth after all, because Dawn has Piplup use Drill Peck to save the Pokemon and knock Team Rocket out of the balloon.

* * *

_Piplup drilled through the basket's bottom so that the bag of poke balls and Pikachu's cage fell through, then he finished be repeating the move on the ropes holding the balloon to the basket. Jessie and James fell with the basket to the ground, while Meowth accidentally dropped into the bushes since he was standing on the edge. After getting Pikachu free Ash commanded him to use Thunderbolt causing Jessie and James to 'blast off' as usual._

_Ash hugged Pikachu tight as he checked to make sure that all his Poke balls were there, "That wasn't so hard. You'd think they'd be smart enough to just leave."_

* * *

_(Keldeo face hooved hard)_

Well, there goes my theory! But hey! This story was written in three short parts! I should've gone in expected plot holes!

Speaking of this story being short, there's still one plot point to resolve.

* * *

_Back a few feet was Meowth who started to follow the three, "I won't be the same unless I clear this up…" he followed them closely until eventually he was noticed. Pikachu shoved Ash before pointing back behind them, "What's up Pika…. Meowth…" Brock gave a weird look at him, "What?" a gesture behind them and all three were staring at the Pokemon who was still following them while staring at the ground. Once only seven feet away Meowth noticed they had stopped and had looked up slowly before quietly saying, "Hey…."_

_"Trying to… You're not getting Pikachu…" Ash said in a confused matter as the Pokemon approached a little closer. Meowth rubbed the back of his head, "Listen, there's something I need to say…. Dawn- I mean Twerpette… I read your diary." With that Ash started laughing a little because of the diary being brought up previously. "It's not funny!" Dawn scolded as she turned to Meowth, "You read my diary." He nodded, "I heard what you said about me." Her eyebrow rose in confusion, "What?" Finally Meowth just blurted it out, "I read about your crush on me…" With that Ash was now officially on the ground laughing, "Oh this is too much!" he cried out laughing._

_"It's NOT funny! It's been driving me insane!" Meowth's outburst immediately quieted Ash and the Cat's cheeks went up in flames. Dawn was confused, "I don't have a crush on you." At this he felt the blush disappear, "What are you talking about? The attacking, the blue eyes, and the two clowns I was with…"_

_"I have a friend from far away. He's been running around with his two cousins who only joke around. He has blue eyes and…"_

* * *

Well what do you know! It was all a big misunderstanding! Wow. . .

_(Keldeo just smiled and shook his head)_

I'm not even sure what to say. Does this make the story pointless? No, not really. It actually kinda feels like one of those _Adventures in Unova and Beyond _episodes that feel like filler.

* * *

_Dawn stopped when she saw the almost disappointed look on Meowth's face, "Oh… So I wasn't… I- I'm such a…" He laughed a little, a forced a laugh obviously, "I screwed up everything… Just to realize that I'm an IDIOT." Meowth pressed a paw to his head gently and glared at the ground, "I just assumed…" as soon as his paw dropped a hand was placed on his head. Dawn kneeled down and slowly pet Meowth between the ears and over his charm, "You're not an idiot. It was a simple mistake."_

_Meowth let out a small sigh, "Nothing is a simple mistake when you're around Jessie… She already bit my head off for leaving your Piplup behind, I hate to see what will happen when she realizes that I was wrong about the diary thing." Dawn smiled a little, "Thanks for doing that. You know you're awfully sweet when you want to be." The petting continued until Meowth let out a small purr of contentment. A little later Meowth left to go find Jessie and James. Ash, who received a knock over the head by Brock for laughing, smiled, "Pokemon League. Here I come." Dawn playfully sighed before glancing back at the path where Meowth had left. She smiled and decided to keep her diary hidden better…_

* * *

Well, then, this story was pretty much a Shaggy Dog, or Shaggy _Cat_ Story. It's like this story had to follow the status quo of Team Rocket always looses and just built a misunderstanding plot around it. It doesn't change the fact that the premises extremely creepy, and the personalities weren't really fleshed out enough, except for Meowth's. I know Meowth was the focus of this story, but couldn't we get a closer look at Jessie and James' reactions? And how about a Pokemon battle between Piplup and Team Rocket's Pokemon. I'm pretty sure they could've beaten Piplup if they sent out all their Pokemon at once. Sure, that would be wrong, but they're the villains. You expect them to cheat.

Sure, there were some good parts here too. I liked how Meowth felt guilty about stealing from Dawn and how he considered her feelings, even though they were beyond creepy. I also liked how Dawn went as far as to comfort Meowth after he made his mistake, because it's clear that Meowth could be a nice guy if he would just let go of Team Rocket's lure of power and fight for truth and justice. And although Dawn's explanation for the diary entry seemed fake and made up, I guess it was the best way to clear up this uncomfortable plot.

So, I guess this story is okay. It could've been better if it were longer, but for a short story, I guess it's fine.

Well, I'm Keldeo the Critic, and I just reviewed a Pokemon Fanfiction!

_(Keldeo walked away for a moment or two, but then he came back with a confused expression on his face.)_

Wait, Dawn's explanation doesn't make any sense. I mean, look at this diary entry from Part One:

* * *

_Dear Diary, Ash is being so annoying, he won't stop talking about how excited he is for the Pokemon League. I never get to do anything but hear about how he wants to win. Anyway, I saw him AGAIN. As usual he was trying to attack us with those two other clowns. I'll be honest, I don't understand why he hangs out with them. I'm sure he'd feel right at home with me. His beautiful blue eyes, those little smiles I get to see, he sure is something._

* * *

It specifically said that they got attacked by them the other day, but that makes no sense. Was this just a noddle incident the author invented? That's kinda weird. Or maybe I missed something? I don't know. Maybe I missed something, let me read Part Three again.

_(Keldeo reads the whole chapter and soon gets to the very bottom.)_

* * *

_Dear Diary, _

_Meowth read my diary… I told him about my friend from back home, I feel bad that I had to say that to him. But I didn't lie… I have a friend from my home, with two clown cousins, and he has blue eyes. Most importantly I DON'T have a crush on Meowth. That's almost laughable. A crush on him? With his silky fur, blue eyes prettier then my other friend, and quirky cute personality, I could never have a crush on him. _

_I'm in love with Meowth, that's way different then a crush._

_**FIN**_

_**Mable: A quick three-shot that I really wanted to write… I hope you enjoyed!**_

* * *

_(Keldeo stared blankly at the screen, not even blinking from the shock. Then "It'll Be Okay" starting playing for the third time.)_

_I gave you my heart and then you turned around  
Romantic pony dreams, they never came to be  
I gave you my heart and then you turned around  
Twilight please make this song end, we're a bunch of floating heads!  
_

_(Keldeo's mouth hung open gapingly. He brought a hoof up and sprayed his face with water.)_

_Just take it from me, I know you'll come around  
Though the law forbids it, this is kismet  
Say "I do" and seal our souls together  
Voulez-vous, our love will last forever  
Since we're not related it'll be ok  
_

_(A small tear trickled down Keldeo's cheek)_

_So different now from what it seemed  
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed _

_(Keldeo's mouth opened and closed a few times, but no sound came out. He shook his head a few times, he swallowed, and then he finally found his voice.)_

Take it, Applejack!

_Applejack: "That was the creepiest thing I ever heard."_

OH MY GOSH!

What a jerk move. I mean, was this even necessary? Why? Just why? Why does Dawn like a Pokemon? I mean, you do realize that this story did not need this creepy ending? I mean, come on. This is awful. This is like the _A.I. _ of Pokemon Fanfiction! No, it's even worse! THIS IS STUPID! THIS IS THE STUPIDEST ENDING YOU COULD GIVE A FANFIC LIKE THIS! I mean, what is this story even rated? T probably, although it should've been M for Bestiality, I mean, wow, unbelievable-

_(Keldeo looked at the rating and saw that the story was rated K+. His eyes widened in shock)_

K+? This was rated K+? That's her idea of K+? What, was she out of her mind?!

It hurts so much that a good story that had such good character development for Meowth had to _crash _and _burn _in a steaming pile of bestiality like this. It actually _hurt _me!

_(Keldeo snorted, smoke coming out of his nostril like he was an enraged bull. But then he closed and opened his eyes and settled down smiling)_

But, if you don't mind bad endings and can just ignore them. . .go ahead and read it.

I mean, there is no actually bestiality stuff in this story. It's mostly just Meowth's reactions to the thought that Dawn might like him that way. It's still enjoyable if you're a Meowth fan, and perhaps it's not necessary to make such a big deal about a Fanfic like this. The romance is never actually delved into, and is mainly a plot device for a primarily slice of life style story. So in the end, it's all up to you to decide whether or not this story is right for you.

So, it's not one of my favorites. But. . .eh. . .it could be worse.

Well, I'm Keldeo the Critic and. . .

_(Keldeo looked around, and then he said in a loud stage whisper)_

Sherclop Pones supports cults, murder, incest, and bullying. Don't ever forget that.

_(Keldeo then quickly runs away)_

* * *

**The End**

Performed by Keldeo of the Swords of Justice

**_Credits_**

_Nostalgia Critic- A.I._

_Nostalgia Critic- Ferngully 2_

_Nostalgia Critic- Tom and Jerry the Movie_

_Nostalgia Critic- Zeus and Roxxane_

_AVGN- Dark Castle_

_Friendship is Witchcraft _by Sherclop Pones

_The Fiery Joker- Double Rainboom Review_

**Special Thanks**

_Bulbapedia_

_**The comments expressed in this review are written in such a way so that negative aspects are used to create jokes. There will NOT be any bashing or ranting. Also, good things in a FanFic will be praised. Particularly bad FanFictions WON'T**** be totally thrashed, but expect to see major grievances addressed.**_

_**(This was a parody of the Nostalgia Critic by Doug Walker on That Guy With The Glasses)**_


	7. KeldeoXMeloetta FINALE- Part 1

_**A/N: **The following review does not completely express the opinion of Matthais Unidostres, but rather expresses the opinion of the character known as Keldeo the Critic for the sake of cannon characterization._

**IN THE GHOST WORLD. . .**

This world extends infinitely in every direction. It seemed to a realm floating in red and purple space. There were no stars in sight, no natural light at all. It was a dark realm of a haunting glow that shone upon floating grey stone platforms throughout the infinitely extending realm.

Ghost-type Pokemon floated around the place, popping in and out of portals at random, occasionally bringing in a human or Pokemon to feed on. The quota was once again yet to be met, and most of the Ghost-type Pokemon were conversing grumpily. However, everyone stopped what they were doing when they heard the sound of an eerie cry.

The Ghost-types gathered around a large platform where three Litwicks and a Lampent were gathered together.

"Minions of the Ghost World," the Lampent said, "I give to you your one and only master. The Phantom of Unova, Zalton."

There was a thunderclap followed by a poof of black smoke, and a huge evil looking Zoroark with a huge bloody scar in his chest appeared. It's a foot taller than a regular Zoroark, and it's claws are sharper. Two small scars go down beneath the middle of each of his eyes and he wore an evil, insane smile on his face as he spoke.

"My trembling subjects, for a while you've known that I kept the secret Horcrux hidden within this world, which entrapped me within this world after my death. Due to the lack of human souls, I have been unable to get around this problem. Well, no more. It's time for you to witness the true terror of the Ghost World. The horror of she who I took under my wing. The undeniable evil that will use my power to bring more human souls into this world than you could ever imagine." Another thunder clap shook the Ghost World. Zalton smiled wickedly and said, "Behold, pitiful maggots, the fearsome face of darkness, the new and improved, Ghost Girl of Summit Ruins!"

There was another puff of smoke, and a small child wearing a yellow dress and dark hair covering her eyes appeared. She was hunched over and busy playing a 2DS.

Zalton's eye twitched. "Uh. . .technical difficulties! Back in a few!"

Zalton and the Ghost Girl disappeared in a puff of smoke, leaving the Ghost Pokemon confused and bewildered.

The pair reappeared behind a floating wall, where Zalton angrily shouted at her.

"What are you doing with that! Turn it off and go through the routine!"

The Ghost Girl looked up from the 2DS and stuck her tongue out at Zalton before looking back down at the game.

"YOU LITTLE BRAT!" Zalton roared.

The Ghost Girl looked up and puked and spat a glowing ball ectoplasm into his face, which exploded on contact.

Zalton roared and vanished in another poof of smoke, reappearing on a floating stone platform where Hunter J sat on a chair as she read a book.

"What the Hell have you done to my ultimate weapon!?" he roared at her.

Hunter J rolled her eyes, "Look, she's been bugging me for days, so I gave her that 2DS so she'd have something else to focus on."

"But now she won't listen to anything I say! What games did you give to her?!"

Hunter J shrugged, "_Travel Adventures with Hello Kitty_."

"Ohh!" Zalton moaned.

"_Turbo: Super Stunt Squad."_

"Ohhhh!"

"_Phineas and Ferb: Quest for Cool Stuff."_

"Ohhh!"

"_Regular Show: Mordecai & Rigby in 8-Bit Land."_

Zalton blinked, and he gave a small smile, "Okay, that's not too bad. . ."

"_And Animal Crossing: New Leaf."_

"YOU INCOMPETENT EMBECILE!" Zalton exploded with rage, "One more screw up like this and I'll destroy your Horcrux!"

Hunter J sighed with disinterest and looked at her arm cannon, "Actually, that's fine. Seeing as I don't have much of a life anymore."

Zalton sighed, "Oh, no matter. It'll take something much more potent to get our little girl to obey me without question."

"Like what?"

Zalton chuckled, "Oh, I don't know. How about. . .the story of my evil deeds and atrocities to innocent Pokemon, turned into a CGI movie! An animation so frightening that any small child who sees it will be so _terrified _of me that if I appeared to that child, they would fall down and beg for mercy, offering up their entire life in exchange for not being the victim of my wrath.

This story was originally combined with 56 other one-shots meant to put the Legendaries in a humorous light. The evil of my tale combined with those stories created a spell that had the power to announce the destruction of the Swords of Justice! A fanfic filled with such insults against the Swords of Justice, as well as all other Legendary Pokemon. A prophecy said when 60th oneshot has been added, the Swords of Justice will be no more, the Hall of Legendaries will fall into complete anarchy, the Legendary Pokemon will destroy each other, and chaos and evil will consume the Unova region!

Unfortunately, the prophecy also says that when the fanfic reaches the oneshot numbering 6 squared, or reaches 60% completeness, or gets to onehsot number 36, one of the Swords of Justice will discover it, and have the opportunity to break the curse. That Sword of Justice was Keldeo, and he fulfilled that prophecy and broke that curse. However, the horror of my story still lives, and it has grown through my animating it. That is what will create obedience in the Ghost Girl. Give me that USB I gave to you for safe keeping. It contains my story. Bring me... The Finale of_ the Six Tens Fanfic. . . _.

"I don't have it," Hunter J said nonchalantly.

_**"WHAT!?"**_

"I decided to send it to Keldeo. I actually thought that was the plan from the start, seeing as you don't like him."

**BY KODAI'S METAL CLAW! **YOU JUST THREW HOURS OF MY HARD WORK OUT INTO THE WORLD LIKE A HAND GRENADE!?" Zalton pulled his hair and growled, and then shook his head, "Well, on the positive side. . .Keldeo's gonna die. . . ."

* * *

_SLASH-BOOOOOM!_

The wall was blown apart by Keldeo's Focus Blast.

_**The review must go on!**_

Keldeo activated his Secret Sword and swung it.

Keldeo sprayed water from his hooves, putting out the forest fire around him.

Keldeo slid across the icy ground and gave Kyurem a kick in the face.

_**The review must go on!**_

Keldeo growled angrily at Ash, but then ran and put his head under a water fountain to cool off.

_**That's the theme of this song!**_

_**Although the waits may be long,**_

Keldeo cried out as Honchkrow hit him with Perish Song.

Keldeo and Ryan the Reviewer fought on a cliff top, Secret Sword and Bone Rush clashing over and over.

Keldeo and Ash gobbled down food, but then started to choke and began moving their head in an attempt to swallow.

**_I am a Swords of Justice. . ._**

Keldeo ran through memories of him with Terrakion, Virizion, and Coballion, and jumped, turning into his Resolute Form in mid air with a flash of light.

_**The review must go on!**_

Keldeo reared up on his hind legs, his expression serious and his Secret Sword raised and glowing brightly.

**Keldeo the Critic**

******"****KeldeoXMeloetta Sixty Oneshots and Prompts**" (4 Part Finale) by** DragonNiro**

It's me! Keldeo The Critic! I review Pokemon FanFiction when I'm not training with the other Swords of Justice!

Remember _"KeldeoXMeloetta Sixty Oneshots and Prompts" _by DragonNiro? It was a collection of one shots that liked to poke fun at Legendary Pokemon, putting them in different situations and seeing what kind of crazy reactions it could get out of them. However, there are also some interesting and serious plots in there as well. Like tales of me saving Meloetta in human and Pokemon form. In one story there's all this build up for a battle against Yvetal, and in another I'm a brave knight, it's really cool. When I reviewed it, there were only 36 one shots. Good thing to, cause that was the only time I could break the curse on it. I said it was a guilty pleasure, but now, I say its just a pleasure! It got sooooooo good!

Well, the collection is finally complete with 60 one shots, but it turned out that the last four one shots form a final epic finale unlike anything in the rest of the story! In fact, I actually just recently received a USB by mail containing those final four stories animated in CGI! The box didn't have a postage, but hey! Who am I to look a gift horse in the mouth!

_(Keldeo blushed and gained an embarrassed expression after saying that. Then he shrugged and took the USB drive and plugged it into his laptop)_

Where the other one shots had a leaning towards K+ and T, the 4 Part Finale is most definitely T and maybe even M. But it's not only darker and edgier with 100 percent more Dark-type Pokemon, it's a downright strange, freaky little drive into someone's vision of an all out battle of good vs _Satanically_ evil. It's a terrifying experience that you all expect me to go through.

Well, if I go,_ I'm taking you with me!_ PLAY MOVIE!

_(The CGI video began to play on the screen.)_

So the story actually begins with a kind of prologue that takes place a few years earlier.

* * *

_Story Outline: Set in the past, Cobalion has a few stern words with Keldeo..._

* * *

_"What am I going to with you, Keldeo?" asked Cobalion, sighing._

_A young Keldeo is standing in front of him, head covered by leaves for bandages._

_"What?" questioned Keldeo, curiously._

_It's been a few days since an accident happened to Keldeo._

_To give Landorus a break, Meloetta stayed with the Swords for a couple of days._

_Cobalion had gone off to do important business, whilst Terrakion and Virizion decided to go to Pinwheel Forest for the day._

_A path they took had a landslide, and it was going to hit Meloetta, but Keldeo pushed her out of the way at the last minute._

_Some of the rocks, however, gave Keldeo a concussion._

_Now Keldeo has bandages over his head._

* * *

Okay, I just saved Meloetta's life. . .why is Cobalion upset about that? Did he _want _Meloetta to get squashed? Aren't the Swords of Justice all about protecting the weaaaaaa-

_(Keldeo was suddenly conscious of Meloetta angrily glaring at him from behind)_

-theeee uhhhh Pokemon who _sometimes _get caught of guard and need a save? Right?

_(Meloetta nodded and disappeared)_

* * *

_The two are currne_

* * *

_(Keldeo jerked his head back and forth)_

Wait, what?

* * *

_The two are currne_

* * *

. . .Wait, what?

* * *

_The two are currne_

* * *

_(Keldeo face hoofed)_

How do you miss that?!

* * *

_"Keldeo." started Cobalion._

_"Yes?"_

_"Why did you lie to me? Why did you say you hit your head on a tree, but actually it was rocks?"_

_Keldeo kicked some dirt._

_"I thought you would be angry for me being careless."_

_"To be frank, I'm more angry that you lied."_

_"Oh..." Keldeo looked down in shame_

_"Um,..." went Cobalion._

* * *

What?! You mean I have this total awesome story of jumping in and saving Meloetta's life and I try to cover that up with a story about randomly hitting my head on a tree? I sound like an idiot! How is saving someone being careless anyway? What, did I _cause_ the landslide? What is going on? I understand this is a prologue, so I get why we didn't just start at the landslide, but come on! Don't make me look like an idiot. Is it because I'm younger in this? Maybe. . .

Well, now that Cobalion knows the truth, his reaction changes to one more befitting of the situation.

* * *

_"I'm not angry at you for being careless."_

_Keldeo looked up._

_"I'm proud that you saved Meloetta._

_It shows commitment to being a Sword."_

_Keldeo smiled in happiness._

_"Thank you, Master Cobalion!"_

_Cobalion looked round._

_"Virizion had told me to interact with Keldeo more._

_The only times I see him is during training sessions, meals, missions, waking or going to sleep..."_

_thought Cobalion._

_"Tell me, Keldeo, what is your friendship with Meloetta?"_

_Keldeo's eyes sparkled._

_"My friendship with Melly is great?"_

_"'Melly?'"_

_"Nickname, Master."_

_"Oh."_

_"She's really kind, and a great Pokemon to play with!_

_She's shy, cute, funny and other various things I can go on about!_

_One time, me and Meloetta went to find some berries and..."_

_As Keldeo rambled on about his friend, Cobalion smirked._

"_Looks like Keldeo's got a genuine friend..._

_One that he can trust with his life with, and always be with._

_Reminds me of when I first met Terrakion..._

_I won't be surprised that they will be in a romantic relationship one day._

* * *

_(Keldeo looked a little creeped out)_

That. . .wasn't. . .phrased right- NO COMMENT!

* * *

_..._

_..._

_..._

* * *

_(Keldeo raised an eye brow)_

* * *

_..._

_..._

_..._

* * *

_(Keldeo frowned)_

Are ya gonna say any-?

* * *

_I didn't how much enjoyment it is to talk to Keldeo..._"

* * *

Whoa! Oh, okay, there we go. I don't know what that long pause was for, but okay.

* * *

_"M-master Cobalion!" exclaimed Keldeo, shocked._

_"Hmm?"_

_"You're smiling!"_

_"I am? No, this is smirking."_

_"What's a smirk?"_

_"I'll explain later."_

* * *

_(Keldeo did a serious impression of Cobalion's voice)_

_"One does not confuse a smile with a smirk! I come down hard on those that do with a Steel hoof!"_

But one question remains. How did Cobalion know I was lying?

* * *

_"How did you know I was lying?_

_Master Terrakion and Master Virizion said to keep it a secret."_

* * *

Wait! Wait! Wait! So. . .let me get this straight. I told Terrakion. I told Virizion. And they told me not to tell Cobalion. Two of the Swords of Justice told me to _lie_. . .

Okay. . .here's a radical idea, how about not having Terrakion and Virizion know about it either. You know, then you don't have to make them look like. . .lying liars who lie? I don't know! See, that's the problem. If they already knew about it, why should they keep it from Cobalion? Nothing bad is gonna happen. Was this a secret test of character? Well apparently I failed because Cobalion had to call me out on my lie. But I just can't comprehend why they just told me to tell a lie to Cobalion. I'm sorry, I can't let it go.

Well, anyway, it turns out that someone saw the incident and just told Cobalion. And who was that someone?

* * *

_"It's just my source was from an unlikely Pokemon, Keldeo..." replied Cobalion._

_"I don't know why he was in the region..."_

* * *

_Cobalion and Keldeo walked out of the clearing, being watched by Darkrai._

_"..." went Darkrai, before going into the shadows._

* * *

Darkrai. . .

_(A dramatic sting played)_

* * *

_Number 58: Dark Truth_

_Story Outline: 'Sometimes, the truth is too dark to even let anyone know...'_

* * *

Alright, now this is where the story finally starts going somewhere. We start out in Shaymin's garden with Dialga and Celebi.

* * *

_Dialga saw the time-traveling Pokemon floated over, with a grim expression on her face._

_"What seems to be the matter, Celebi?" asked Dialga._

_"I... had a vision of the future..." murmured Celebi softly._

_Dialga scowled._

_Celebi has visions of the future, due to her ability to time-travel, but has them very rarely, like a migraine._

_When she does have one, it's normally something extremely bad._

_Last time one happened, Latios died to save Alto Mara._

* * *

Now before you ask why Celebi doesn't just time travel there and fix what went wrong, it turns out her visions are always too blurry to see.

* * *

_"So, what was this vision about...?" he hesitantly asked._

_"I couldn't tell, because everything was blurry, but..." started Celebi, scared._

_"It was in a forest, a clearing._

_Keldeo, Meloetta and the Swords are there._

_The Swords bounded up, Meloetta very injured._

_Keldeo is shaking with fear, as a shadowed figure walks up, and is about to strike._

_Then, it ends."_

_Dialga just stares at Celebi._

_"Densetsu no hi no shi o "_

_"Pardon."_

_"Literal Japanese for 'The Death of a Legend Day'_

_It's happened only once, and that was Latios._

_Once he died, I foresaw the next day._

_That day is tomorrow."_

_Celebi's eyes widened in shock._

_"You mean...?"_

_"Yes, tomorrow, another legendary will leave us._

_And what you saw in your vision, it may be Keldeo."_

* * *

_BZZZZZZZZT!_

_(Meowth rocked back and forth as he played a guitar and sang)_

_"Aye, aye, yaye, yaye! We're building up to a let down!"_

_BZZZZZZZZT!_

Get out of here, Meowth! I'm doing a review here!

I'm a little confused why he needed to say it in Japanese, but it's a nice little detail to make things more interesting.

So then we move into. . .the Hall of Origin's freezer? Why does it need a giant freezer? Is it to store all of Kyurem's ice cream?

. . . .

_(Keldeo looked around and nodded.)_

I'm totally serious, in this fannon universe Kyurem makes ice cream. Really. There's a one-shot about Kyurem making ice cream. I promise. Aw, never mind, back to the review already.

So Darkrai is holding. . .a sword? While talking to. . .a block of ice?

* * *

_In the Hall of Origin Cold Room, a massive frozen structure is shown, and Darkrai is sitting in front of it, with a katana next to him._

_Darkrai glares at the structure._

_The structure looks like a massive shell of a conker but in the middle, a solid block of ice._

_"'Densetsu no hi no shi o' is approaching._

_I know what happened all those years ago is my fault, but an accident._

_But what you is unforgivable._

_I'm going to make sure you won't escape."_

_Darkrai got up, and began to walk away, with the sword in his hands._

_"I'll make sure that you'll never hurt or kill anyone again..."_

_Darkrai stops walking, and glances at the frozen structure._

_"...Zalton..."_

* * *

Okay, when did this suddenly turn into_ Samurai Jack_? Or, Samurai Darkrai? . . . Why would a Pokemon need to carry a literal sword? What, is Darkrai trying to get into the Swords of Justice? Or are all his Legendary Dark-type moves not enough from him.

(Keldeo imitates Darkrai's voice)

_"Yeah, forget Dark Pulse and Dark Void! What I really need is a breakable metal sword that requires me to get_ really, really_ close to my opponent!"_

* * *

_Darkrai walks out of the room._

* * *

_"Yes! I will make sure you do not escape or hurt anyone by walking out of the room and leaving you completely alone without any guards whatsoever! I guess I'm kind of stupid like that."_

So we get our first look at-

* * *

_**CRACK!**_

* * *

___WHAT THE BISCUIT?!_

* * *

_A giant crack formed in the ice._

_Then, two dark eyes light up in the structure._

_"Hehehehehe..."_

* * *

_(Keldeo jumped in fear)_

AHH!

King Sombra's rejected cousin?

Actually, maybe Arceus had the ice shipped in from Equestria and got stuck with the ice King Sombra was sealed in.

_Princess Celestia: "Well, we've sealed King Sombra in the ice. Now what?"_

_Princess Luna: "Sister! A being from another world wishes to purchase ice from us for a Cold Room he's building."_

_Princess Celestia: *Trollface*_

And now it is time for some mood-whiplash!

* * *

_"Have a nice day, Keldeo." stated Virizion._

_"I will, Virizion!" went Keldeo happily._

_Keldeo ran to find Meloetta, whilst Virizion goes off to find Terrakion._

_"Looks like today is going to be a good day!" exclaimed Keldeo._

_For some reason recently, Keldeo has felt so upbeat, and he feels like nothing in going to get him down._

* * *

_Twilight Sparkle: "Morning in Ponyville shimmers_

_Morning in Ponyville shines_

_And I know for absolute certain_

_That everything is certainly fine!"_

_(Keldeo chuckled)_

Well compared to what's gonna happen in this story, everything actually _was _fine in _Magical Mystery Cure._

So I meet up with Meloetta and Mew, but Mew seems worried about something.

* * *

_Mew looked at both of them, then sighed._

_"I was... on duty last night..."_

_"'On duty'?" questioned Keldeo._

_"Arceus made a rota of legends who would petrol the Hall at night, to make sure no being gets in."_

_"I see. Continue."_

_"Well, I was patrolling near the Cold Room, when I noticed Darkrai going into the room._

_I hid to see what he was doing._

_He sat down and did nothing._

_After that, I didn't know what happened, I must of fell asleep._

_The next thing I heard is a big bang._

_I rushed into the Cold Room and saw that Darkrai was gone."_

_"Huh..." went Meloetta._

_"One other thing. Have you ever seen the massive ice structure in the Cold Room?"_

_Keldeo nodded._

_"Yes." replied Meloetta, curious._

_"I found a massive hole in the ice. It looks like someone broke it."_

_"Jeez!" said Keldeo._

_"The ice type Pokemon liked that structure." affirmed Meloetta._

_"They'll be really upset about it."_

_"Kyurem's already threatened to kill anyone who damaged it..." murmured Mew dishearteningly, then composed himself._

* * *

So basically, it's stuff we either already now or can infer.

* * *

_"Nothing broke in._

_Besides, the second thing is, the ice looks like it was broken in from the inside."_

_"So, that means...?" went Keldeo, figuring it out._

_"That's right." stated Mew._

_"Someone didn't break into the ice, someone broke out."_

_Mew looked worryingly at Keldeo and Meloetta._

_"What ever broke out, is still among us._

_I haven't told Arceus._

_What ever it is, I think it's dangerous._

_That's why I'm worried."_

* * *

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Hold on! A Sealed Evil in a Can has just busted out, and you haven't told Arceus? The lying Swords of Justice were bad enough, but this takes the cake. I mean, there could be a serial killer running amok through the Hall of Origin, and you decide to keep it a secret? What, are you afraid of getting in trouble? Well, I'm pretty sure whatever fair punishment Arceus would dish out for you wouldn't be as bad as _seeing your friends murdered! _And from what Darkrai said, we can infer that this Zalton guy is a murderer. I mean, for goodness sakes, Mew! What other catastrophes are you hiding from us?

_Mew: "An evil Pokemon broke out of the ice in the Cold Room!"_

_Keldeo: "Oh no, this is terrible!"_

_Mew: "But don't worry, I'm sure that's not as bad as the atom bomb in the closet."_

_Meloetta: "Oh, alright then- WHAT!?"_

_BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!_

Think, Mew! THINK!

So our three heroes return to the scene of the crime where all the Ice-type Legendaries are gathered together.

* * *

_Articuno has a permanent anime shock face expression._

_Regice is on the floor_

_Since it's hard to know what she's expressing, since her face it dots, one can assume she is crying over the structure._

_Kyurem, however, is extremely angry._

_The Ice Dragon loved this structure, and for someone to wreak it, makes his pissed._

* * *

You know what bugs me. None of them seem to be aware that there was something trapped inside of it. I mean, aren't you supposed to be able to see through ice? Did nobody notice a dark shape inside of it? Well, Darkrai knows, so I guess he put it there, put shouldn't he have told somebody that, oh, I don't know: "BEWARE! THERE'S AN EVIL POKEMON INSIDE THAT. . .structure. . ."

And another thing, they call it a structure. What does that mean? Is it a statue? Is it a crystal? Is it a cube? Is it that weird modern art that doesn't look like anything? Would you mind describing to us what the structure looked like?

Well, Kyurem is really angry that it was destroyed, and pumps our heroes for info. And Mew decides to _throw Darkrai under the bus._

* * *

_"I didn't see who did this, but before it happened, I saw Darkrai come in here."_

_Kyurem's eyes sparkled._

_"Darkrai..."_

_**ARUUGGHH!**_

_The three flinched in fear of Kyurem's roaring._

_"I'LL GET THE BUGGER!" Roared Kyurem._

_Kyurem stomped off in anger._

* * *

You know, there is that whole, "it was broken from the inside" clue that you're leaving out, that might have been useful information. . .in saving Darkria's life!

Speaking of lives, our heroes discover a death threat scratched into the ice.

* * *

_Mew floated over to the structure's hole, and inspected it, when he saw something._

_"Look!" he pointed._

_Keldeo and Meloetta came over and saw something strange._

_Extremely hard-to-read writing has been engraved in the ice, with several claw marks in the ice._

_"What does it say...?" asked Meloetta._

_Mew looked at the writing intensely._

_When he finally knew what it said, he paled._

_"What ever broke out..." started Mew, eyes widen in fear, turning towards them._

_"...is extremely dangerous. I think the legends sealed it here."_

_"What...does it say?" questioned Keldeo._

_"Are you sure you don't want to know?" replied Mew with a question._

_"It will make you say 'I wish I never asked that.'"_

* * *

_Monty Python Army: "GET ON WITH IT!"_

* * *

_"What does it say, Mew?!" demanded Meloetta, annoyed._

_Mew glanced at both of them._

_"Don't say I didn't warn you." he started._

_"It says 'Zalton has returned._

_I will have my revenge._

_He will die!'"_

_"WHAT?!" yelled Meloetta, shocked._

_"What does that mean?"_

_"I have no idea." replied Mew._

_"I haven't a clue who Zalton is."_

* * *

Well, I seem to vaguely recognize the name, but I'm interrupted by Terrakion.

* * *

_"Hey, kid!" yelled a voice._

_The three turned round and saw Terrakion walked into the room._

_Keldeo rushed over to his master, while Meloetta followed._

_Mew, however, stay where he was._

_"Is it me, or is Terrakion looking weird...?" he thought._

_What Mew is thinking is true._

_Terrakion is smirking, and not in a good way._

* * *

Oh come on, couldn't you at least try to be a little more subtle! I mean, could this be any more obvious? Why couldn't you give us some surprises, maybe a little suspense? This is as bad as having Hannibal Lector as the killer in _The Wolfman!_

_Not!Terrakion: "I ate the real Terrakion's liver with some fava beans and some Rare Candy! Hshcshschschsss!"_

So yeah, since Not!Terrakion is stupid and doesn't have a clue where Cobalion went, he decides to go for broke and kill me right then and there.

* * *

_Suddenly, Terrakion's Sacred Sword appeared, in all it's glory._

_The shadows where Terrakion's eyes are disappeared, revealing them to be blue instead of the usual orange._

_Keldeo stood back in shock._

_The way the eyes stared is in a sadistic way._

_"...I'LL END ALL HERE!" roared Terrakion, going to strike Keldeo._

_"Wha..." went Keldeo, still due to shock._

_"KELDE!" screamed Meloetta, scared_

_"MOVE!"_

_Mew just watched in shock, as Terrakion is attacking Keldeo._

* * *

Oh no! It's not like I can just block it or move out of the way. . . oh wait a minute, I can. Why don't I just block it or move out of the way?

* * *

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

* * *

Okay, do we really need these big spaces where nothing-

_**CLANG!**_

* * *

GAH!

* * *

_Keldeo stood back in shock._

_The prince of the shadows, the king of nightmares himself, Darkrai, is currently blocking Terrakion's Sacred Sword, despite him being a dark type._

_And, oh yeah, he's doing it with a sword._

* * *

_"Samurai Jack! Back to the past! Samurai Jack! Watch-out!"_

Well, at least we get a decent explanation for why Darkrai's using the sword. Since he's a Dark-type, the Fighting-type move Sacred Sword would be Super Effective against him. But if he blocks it with a sword of his own, he can avoid all of that damage, and put up a better fight against Fighting-types. Really clever.

* * *

_"Sacred Sword, and it's variant, Secret Sword, is made out of pure energy._

_This kind of energy is so strong, it can cut through steel." explained Darkrai, before Keldeo could explain._

_"Now, look. Terrakion cannot cut through this blade, which is made out of steel._

_There is one of two possibilities here."_

_"Grr..." went Terrakion._

_"The first one, Terrakion hasn't been training that much recently, and lost some of his strength._

_Before you say, it's impossible for Terrakion to do that, since he trains all the time._

_That leaves the other possibility."_

_"What is it, Kelde?" asked Meloetta, turning to Keldeo._

_"..." went Keldeo._

_"I'll say it." stated Darkrai, his eye not showing any emotion._

_"This Terrakion isn't the real Terrakion. This one is an imposter."_

_"WHAT?!" yelled Meloetta._

* * *

No kidding! I mean, he only _tried to kill me!_

* * *

_"Heheheh..." chuckled 'Terrakion'_

_Keldeo stood forward._

_"Tell me something, Terrakion."_

_"Hm?"_

_"You've always told me a quote about possibilities. What is it?"_

_"I have no idea what you are talking about, brat."_

_"You'll not the real Terrakion."_

_'Terrakion' moved back and grinned._

_"I see now..."_

_"The quote the real Terrakion is: 'Once you eliminate the impossible…_

_whatever remains must be the truth.…_

* * *

This isn't the time to go quoting Sherlock Holmes! Get on with it!

_Monty Python Army: "GET ON WITH IT!"_

So after what feels like an eternity of dialogue, Zalton finally reveals himself!

* * *

_"Hehehehehe..." laughed Zalton._

_The imposter Terrakion changed into a dark figure._

_This dark figure is a Zoroark, but it isn't like any other._

_It's a foot taller than a regular Zoroark, and it's claws are sharper._

_But the most notable difference is three scars._

_Two small ones going down the middle of each eye, and a larger one down his chest._

_"A Zoroark...?" questioned Meloetta_

* * *

_Patrick Tatopoulos: "That's a lot of fish."_

Now, since this is an action movie where all the heroes are stupid, we get to watch Zalton do his Evil Speech of Evil while everyone just stands there and watches instead of attacking.

* * *

_"I was trapped in that ice for many years by the nightmare dude here." started Zalton._

_"As for who I am, I am Zalton, know as the 'Phantom of Unova'_

_Nobody one knows who I am today, because I've been gone so long."_

_Zalton turned to Keldeo._

_"I was trapped in the ice because I did something truly horrifying, and I enjoyed doing it."_

_Zalton grin sadistically._

_"And now, since my first attempt to kill you..." he said, going all serious._

_"...basically failed, time for Plan B._

_Keldeo, meet me at the Moor of Icirrus at 11:00pm tonight, or else."_

_"Or else what?!"_

_"Your masters will be slaughter like little Weedles being squashed."_

* * *

Or they could attack you right now! Why is everyone so stupid in movies? The guy is outnumbered! He's a killer! It's okay to gang up on him!

Well after doing more evil gloating, Zalton continues to use what he learned from the Hannibal Lector school of acting by getting inside my mind.

* * *

_"Today, a dark truth will be revealed to the legends._

_So dark, only a few legends know of it."_

_Zalton points at Darkrai._

_"You know of it, Darkrai._

_You were there after all."_

_"..." went Darkrai._

_"Why was it covered up?" asked Keldeo._

_"Does it have to do with you trying to kill me?"_

_"Oh, yes._

_Yes it does." replied Zalton, smirking._

_"The reason why it was covered up, is because it is so brutal, that it will cause outrage with the Swords of Justice, and all of your friends, including little Miss Melly here."_

_"Hey!" said Meloetta, angrily._

_"Leave me out of this!"_

_"I'm afraid you got involved the moment you became friends with Keldeo."_

_"...What does the dark truth mean?" finally inquired Mew._

_"What was covered up?"_

_"A certain incident._

_All incidents in this world are record by the legends, but this one was kept a secret."_

_"What incident?"_

_"6-DL Incident."_

_Darkrai glared._

_"I should of known..."_

_"If you want to know more about this incident, ask nightmare boy here." pointed Zalton, at Darkrai._

_He then turned to Keldeo._

_"If you want your masters to live, come to the Moor, at 11:00pm, on the dot._

_The outcome of it, will be interesting..."_

_Zalton's eyes glowed, and a Night Daze was formed, blocking everyone's eyesight._

_When it cleared, Zalton is gone, a note left behind._

_Meloetta picked it up and read it, which it said:_

_'Portal room! _

_A great idea!_

_Thanks for the escape!_

_Yours brutally, and insanely, _

_Phantom of Unova.'_

_"For someone so evil, he's awfully nice..." muttered Meloetta, distastefully._

* * *

I guess he was a card carrying villain.

_"BOOOOO! BOOOOO!"_

Alright, alright! Sorry! Gosh!

Actually, he kind reminds me of a more psychotic version of Gentleman Ghost from DC Comics.

So, since the security around the Portal Room is the worst in the world, Zalton escapes. But now Keldeo wants to know about this "Dark Truth".

* * *

_After the incident with Zalton in the Cold Room, Mew had to go lie down, as he is shaking with fear._

* * *

Yeah, just shoo out the clowns. So I guess it's just Keldeo, Meloetta, and Darkrai. . .no Arceus of course, or any other Legendary Pokemon that could stop Zalton in 10 seconds flat!

* * *

_"Zalton was a deadly Pokemon back in the Unova Civil War._

_As the humans fought, many Pokemon wanted the war to stop, but a handful wanted it to continue, for chaos to rain._

_Zalton was hired to create this chaos._

_He would, like a spy, disguise himself with his illusions, and infiltrated both sides of the war, to create chaos, and hatred._

* * *

_BLU Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scumbags-"_

* * *

_The humans thought that a ghost, a phantom killed the important figures._

_And since the same type of killings were happening all round Unova, they began to call it the Phantom of Unova killings._

_To this day, it is still the bloodiest time in Unova's history, but unsolved._

_Zalton took pride in that name, so he called himself 'Zalton the Phantom' or 'The Phantom of Unova.'_

_I don't know the reason why Zalton is like that. I heard that he killed his brother by accident, but something in his mind made him like it._

_He is a twisted and psychotic Pokemon."_

_Darkrai picked up the file about Zalton._

_"You'll find in this that his killings stop all of a sudden, like a someone disappearing into thin air._

_No one knew where he went."_

_"But, the truth is, you froze him." stated Keldeo._

_"Why?"_

_"Because of the 6-DL Incident." replied Darkrai._

* * *

6-DL? Where's that? Next to City 17? What, is Zalton working for Dr. Breen.

And the idea of someone killing their brother by accident and enjoy it is kinda messed up. How do you even kill someone by accident. Were they having a battle and fought too hard or something? How does a Pokemon kill someone by accident? How does that work?

_(Keldeo's eyes widened in terror)_

Oh no! It's like- it's like-

* * *

_"Aura Sphere!" A ball of white energy was shot at Pikachu._

_"Oh please I've thought Lucarios before IRON TAIL!" With a flick of the tail Pikachu flick the ball right back at Lucario as he was just over whelmed with the force and thrown back into a tree in which Pikachu heard a sickening CRACK!"Oh Arceus! I didn't mean to kill ya." Lucario, however, just started laughing._

_"I've been wanting to die for a while child. I guess I knew hunting Buneary down was a death wish. Don't let this effect you. You're a good kid. Like you said it was an accident." _

* * *

Ohhhhhhhh- alright then.

* * *

_"I finally knew that Zalton was too dangerous to let him be free._

_I froze him, so he won't hurt anyone any more."_

_"Why not kill him?" asked Meloetta._

_"Because I'll be as bad as he is." remarked Darkrai, angrily._

_"Besides, I wanted to protect someone from him._

_Is that ok?"_

* * *

_(Keldeo had a confused look on his face.)_

Um. . .no. I'm sorry, but when someone is a serial killer and criminally insane, there's something called "Capital Punishment" that is the only way to keep the insane criminal from hurting others. "Capital Punishment" does not make you just as bad as the serial killer. When someone becomes so depraved and destructive, you have to enact justice and execute them. If you don't, stuff like this can happen. They either serve their sentence and leave or break out! So, yeah, Darkrai should've killed Zalton. Justice; pure, blind, and simple.

And if you really did want to protect someone, you would've killed him. I'm sure Arceus would've had a trial, found him guilty, and struck him down with a Judgement attack. But right now, I'm not even sure if Arceus knows who Zalton is!

* * *

_"The 6-DL Incident. Tell me more about it."_

_"..." Darkrai went, sitting down._

_"I don't want to tell you."_

_"Zalton said that the dark truth revolves around that incident, and that has to do with me." affirmed Keldeo._

_"I would like to know what it is about!"_

_Meloetta turned to Keldeo, concerned._

_"Kelde..."_

_"You don't want to know about the incident." stated Darkrai._

_"Tell me."_

_"You'll regret it dearly, and wished you never asked."_

_"Tell me, now."_

_"Fine."_

_Darkrai sighed._

_"Each incident is name after where it finished, the geographical co-ordinates._

_6-DL is the co-ordinates for the Moor of Icirrus."_

* * *

How are 6-DL coordinates? What does 6 mean? What does DL mean? Aren't coordinates supposed to be North _something_ South _something_?

* * *

_Keldeo blinked, and mouth dropped faster than the bass._

_"Wha..."_

_Meloetta looked at Darkrai._

_"What are you talking about?"_

_Darkrai looked at both of them._

_"The 6-DL Incident is know as the Great Fire of Icirrus."_

_**SLAM!**_

_Meloetta jumped, and saw that Keldeo had slammed his hoofs on the table, with shadows covering his eyes._

* * *

_(Keldeo reacted exactly the same way he did in the story, complete with all the anger and drama.)_

Alright. . ..I don't kid around with this, so tread lightly DragonNiro!

I mean, it was bad enough when that animated Titanic movie said that evil sharks sunk the Titanic, when it was just a huge accident. But to say that an evil Zoroark just set the whole Moor on fire just because he was evil? I mean, wow, just wow. Turning a natural disaster into a case of good vs evil? Wow! I mean, just look at my reaction when Darkrai confesses to starting the fire. . . _wait, what?_

* * *

_Darkrai shifted and crossed his arms, and looked away, sadly._

_He sighed, and then looked at Keldeo, his expression of sadness, guilt, the look of burden and emptiness._

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

_"I caused the Great Fire of Icirrus."_

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

_"..." went Keldeo, silently, just staring unblinking at Darkrai._

_"Is this true...?" quizzed Meloetta, at Darkrai._

_Darkrai shivered and looked away._

_He nodded._

_"...That is one of the dark truths..._

_I can guess what Keldeo felt the day after."_

_Darkrai glanced at Keldeo, who had a frown on, but still unblinking._

_Unbeknownst to Keldeo, tears began to form._

_"The pain of losing everything..._

_I can only imagine..._

_But, at the same time, I must tell you this..._

_Imagine, a whole race burning, screaming because their flesh is melting, and they're dying..._

_And it's all your fault..._

_The guilt of what Keldeo has over the years is survivors guilt, that he is the last living of his race._

_But, what I had, is the guilt of causing the deaths of his race._

_Both of us are carrying burdens..."_

* * *

So. . .you have this evil Zoroark just sitting there, a perfect blame target, and yet the author decides to have Darkrai be the one who started the fire? Wow. . . . Maybe, DragonNiro more clever than I give him credit for. I mean, any other author would've just had Zalton be the one who caused the fire, but having Darkrai be the one is quite the twist.

The only problem is that Darkrai doesn't EXPLAIN!

How did he cause the fire? Was it an accident? Did Zalton trick him? Was he fighting with the Keldeos? Why did he do it? Darkrai doesn't say that. Instead he just goes on a monologue on guilt and sadness and pain, and I'm fed up with it, so I call him out on it!

* * *

_"DON'T!" yelled Keldeo, unblinking._

_"...Compare yourself to me!"_

_Darkrai glared._

_"You are evil!" shouting Keldeo, pointing at Darkrai._

_"You are the king of nightmares. You caused suffering for everyone with the nightmares you cause, you can't be trusted, and you expect me to believe that?!"_

_"Yes._

_I'm serious."_

_"You're evil and I'm good!_

_Wh-"_

_"At the start of every story, there is a good guy and a bad guy._

_But, as the story plays out, you find there is no good guys or bad guys._

_What it means, there isn't any good people or bad people._

_You just view them as that._

_Everyone has seen me as evil, but do they really know me?_

_Do they assume, that I give out nightmares for fun?!_

_No!_

_I hate my ability!"_

* * *

_(Keldeo looks like he's about to laugh)_

What?!

* * *

_Darkrai pointed at Keldeo._

_"And don't you dare go spout all that 'Swords of Justice' crap!_

_Many Pokemon consider you guys as the good ones._

_But what if you stopped someone you thought was evil, but was trying to warning of something destructive is about to happen, and it happens?_

_You lot will be considered the bad guys!_

_I'm not evil, and you aren't good!_

_It's all neutral!_

_It's how others see us!"_

_Darkrai slammed his fist on the table._

_"You may think I set the Moor on fire on purpose, but I can assure you, that I didn't mean it._

_Trust me."_

* * *

Well, okay this is getting really deep and philosophical, but. . .isn't there an evil Zoroark in this story somewhere? I mean, hello! Zalton has the Swords of Justice captured! _Yeah, no hurry!_

And also, this doesn't erase the fact that you started the fire that killed an entire race, so if you really expect me to forgive you, you have to _**EXPLAAAAAAAAAAAIN**_!

* * *

_Now, as I said, if the information did come out, you, Keldeo, will try and kill me, to avenge your parents._

_And the moment you did, you would have been kicked out of the Legend order."_

_"...Wha..."_

_"If a Legend is found guilty of killing another, they will be forced to live a lift of Solitude, and anyone comes in their way, will disappear from existence, making their life a lonely and suffer able one._

_I did not want that to happen to you."_

_"...Why...?"_

_"Because I made a promise to someone, that I'll prevent any more suffering in your life, that I'll protect your life in exchanged for mine."_

_Keldeo stared at Darkrai._

_A silence followed._

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

* * *

Okay, these big blanks spaces are getting-

* * *

_"But how does Zalton fall into this?" questioned Meloetta._

* * *

_-_annoying!

* * *

_Darkrai turned to Meloetta._

_"That is the other dark truth."_

_Darkrai then turned to Keldeo._

_"Listen here. This is crucial._

_What I am going to tell you, will make you angry, and will turn you into a monster._

_Once you become this monster, you will go after Zalton to kill him._

_I know, because I tried to do before, but failed, because I already killed a whole race that night._

_I didn't want another death that night._

_Understood?"_

* * *

_(Keldeo looked around nervously)_

Okay. . .am I going to become a werewolf or something? Isn't the plan to go after Zalton to kill him anyway? Cause trapping him in ice sure didn't last long! And I doubt metal bars and concrete walls will work either

* * *

_Keldeo nodded._

_"Good."_

_Darkrai sighed._

_"As you may remember, your father saved your from the collapsing tree while the forest was burning, and when you woke up, you found his dead body, correct?"_

_"Yes."_

_"You assume that he was killed by the tree, correct?"_

_"Yes."_

_"That's not true. He did not die from that tree."_

_"Huh?"_

_"You fainted after your father manage to save you and himself from that tree._

_Your mother turned up, afterwards, and your parents spoke for a bit, to decided what to do._

_Then, Zalton turned up."_

_Darkrai looked down, in sadness, then looked up._

_"There was an argument._

_I knew what it was about._

_Zalton was caught only once for his crimes, but escaped due his powers._

_The Pokemons who caught him was your mother and father._

_Zalton was furious about what happened, and vowed revenge."_

_Darkrai looked at Keldeo, seriously._

_…_

_…_

_…_

* * *

Oh here we go, another big blank space.

* * *

_…_

_…_

_…_

_"I'm sorry to tell you this, not even your masters knew about this, but..."_

_…_

_…_

_…_

* * *

Oh come on! Two in a row? Okay, I guess it's to create a dramatic pause where we're supposed to be in suspense, and yeah, that's cool. The problem is that its used too much! Here would be the perfect time to use it, but it's already been used a bunch of times already that we're sick of it.

* * *

_…_

_…_

_…_

* * *

Oh gosh. Well, we all know where this plot is going now. If Darkrai started the fire, then that means:

* * *

_"...Zalton, the Phantom of Unova, murdered your parents._

_That is the second dark truth."_

* * *

_M. Bison: "OF COURSE!"_

* * *

_"WHAT?!" roared Keldeo, in pure fury._

_"He... did that...?"_

_Darkrai looked away, in shame._

_"Yes. I was too late to save them."_

_**CRASH!**_

_The table is spilt in half, with the contents on the floor_

_Keldeo, in his Resolution Form, had shadows among his eyes._

_…**Drip...**_

_**...Drip...**_

_Tears dripped from Keldeo's eyes._

* * *

How do you hear tears dripping? How big are they?

* * *

_He turned and began to walk out._

_"Where are you going...?" questioned Meloetta, very concerned._

_"None of your business!" yelled Keldeo._

_"If it's going to do that, I don't blame you." said Darkrai._

_"I should of done it a long time ago..."_

_Keldeo walked out of the room._

* * *

_Dr. Horrible: "It's a brand new day,_

_And the sun is high,_

_All the birds are singing,_

_That you're gonna die!"_

So instead of going with Keldeo to fight Zalton, Darkrai just stays behind and talks about how sad he is with Meloetta.

* * *

_Keldeo had turned back to his normal form._

_He walked, with shadows, towards the Portal Room._

_"Keldeo!" yelled a voice._

_Keldeo turned slightly, and saw that Mew is rushing towards him._

_"Keldeo!" exclaimed Mew._

_"What did Darkrai say?"_

_Keldeo said nothing and began to walk towards the Portal Room._

_"Keldeo..." went Mew._

_"Where are you going?"_

_Keldeo stopped, shadows over his eyes._

_"Isn't it obvious?"_

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…._

* * *

Time for another dramatic pause ladies and gents!

* * *

_…_

_…_

_…_

* * *

How about this? Take a shot of Iron every time there's a dramatic pause. I guarantee that after this story, you will be able to take a Super Effective move to the face and be able to keep on battling without a single wince!

* * *

_"**I AM GOING TO KILL ZALTON!**"_

* * *

_(The Evil Popcorn Guy from "Free Willy" appeared!)_

Okay so we now we go to the next part, "I Know What You Did In the Dark," where we pick up right where we left off-.

* * *

_"Ow..." went Keldeo, waking up, rubbing his head._

_He looked round, and saw that he is in the Hall of Origin Hospital Room._

* * *

Or. . .we can skip to a time and place that makes no sense. What happened?! Is this after I had my fight with Zalton?

* * *

_"How..."_

_"So, you're awake..."_

_Keldeo looked over and saw Arceus across the room, glaring silently._

_"So, you learned the true extent of 6-DL." went Arceus._

_"For that, I am sorry."_

_"Grr..." growled Keldeo._

_"You knew of it?!"_

_"I'm the one that ordered Darkrai to Unova, and he is the one who reported it back._

_I made it a secret, so you and your masters will never find out._

_So much for that plan..."_

_"Why?"_

_"Hmm...?"_

_"Why did you cover it up?"_

_"The Great Fire of Unova was one of the greatest tragedies in in the world._

_Many of the legends agree that it was a tragedy, many have strong feelings about it._

_Now, imagine, if they found out that Darkrai was involve with the incident._

_There will be an uproar, some defending Darkrai, while others calling him to be killed._

_It will probably escalate into a full-on war, between legends, which will ravish this world._

_Not only that, as Darkrai may of explained, you may kill him, and be sent to a loner's lifer._

_That would break many of your friend's hearts, including Meloetta."_

_"Now, you would see why it had to be covered."_

_"I see..."_

_"I'm sorry that it had to come out like this._

_I thought Darkrai has already killed Zalton, not froze him."_

* * *

Oop! Well, it looks like Arceus should've double checked with Drakrai about that! Ha-ha-ha, wow is he bad. . .

* * *

_"Arceus."_

_"Hm?"_

_"Why did Darkrai try to protect me?"_

_"I particularly don't know._

_Darkrai...well, is a bit of a loner._

_He keeps his thoughts about stuff to himself._

_He's been through a lot._

_I asked him after he reported the incident to me, and he said he'll make sure you'll be safe._

_I asked him why he did that, and he replied he made a promise to someone..."_

(Flashback)

"_A promise...?" asked a unsure Arceus._

"_What do you mean?"_

_Both Darkrai and Arceus are in Arceus' private quarters, and Darkrai is staring, with his blue eye, deeply at Arceus._

"_At the Moor, I broke a promise. A promise to make sure that Zalton doesn't kill again._

_I failed that promise._

_But, at the same time, I was made to take another._

_I promised that I would protect the Swords of Justice's new student, Keldeo, from Zalton._

_Zalton had tried to kill him before, and if he gets out of that ice, will try again."_

* * *

Wait! I thought Arceus didn't know that Darkrai froze him? Oh great, now there are plot holes!

Well, you've probably noticed that Darkrai keeps mentioning a promise he made, but he never says who he made the promise to.

* * *

"_This promise..." went Arceus, narrowing his eyes, scowling._

"_Who made you take it?"_

_Darkrai stared at Arceus for a few minutes, silent._

_Darkrai then turned and floated away._

_He stopped, and glanced at Arceus._

"_That's none of your business, Arceus-Sama."_

* * *

Well, Sama is a respectful title, kind of like Mr or Sr, but I kinda think telling the king of Legendary Pokemon that something isn't there business and walking out on them is kinda rude. I guess Arceus respects the secrets of others and is benevolent?

* * *

_Keldeo looked up, and saw Arceus reading a typical hospital magazine._

* * *

There's a serial killer on the loose and Arceus just sits around reading a magazine like an idiot?! I don't think he even cares what's going on. It's like he's mocking us.

* * *

_"Lord Arceus."_

_"Huh? What is it, Keldeo?"_

_"How...did I get here?"_

_"Meloetta knocked you out."_

_"WHAT?!"_

* * *

_(Keldeo muffled his laughter)_

Okay, that's kinda funny. Point added.

* * *

_Arceus nodded, then sighed._

_"She said you weren't you any more. She saw what you said about Zalton, and decided that you have become a monster._

* * *

Point deducted! What, is Superman a monster when he's fighting Lex Luthor or Brainiac? And don't I have a time limit or something? Didn't Zalton say that he'd kill the Swords of Justice at 11:00 P.M.? Don't I kinda _have to_ fight Zalton?

* * *

_I saw her knock you out, and then she jumped into the portal before I could say anything."_

_Keldeo is wide eyed._

_"She...S-she..." stuttered Keldeo, shocked._

_"She's g-g-gonna get killed!"_

* * *

Eh- what? Did she really think she could beat Zalton in a fight? Talk about carrying the Hero Ball!

* * *

_Keldeo jumped out of the bed, and rushed out of the room, leaving Arceus by himself._

_Arceus scowled deeply._

_"This won't end well..." he mused._

_"For tomorrow, is 'Densetsu no hi no shi o'..._

_I will miss whoever will leave us..._

_I should of stopped Meloetta, but it is her choice after all..."_

_Arceus sighed._

_"Latios, be prepared for a Legend to join you..."_

* * *

So. . .you're just gonna sit here and do nothing. . . . ?

YOU! ARE! ARCEUS! You're the most powerful Pokemon in the world! You could take down Zalton with a single Judgement attack! If you're going to miss whoever dies, how about defeating Zalton yourself _before_ anyone dies! You've got the power! You can stop Zalton's reign of terror! So use your mind, get off your lazy behind, and DO SOMETHING!

_Skroob: Do something! _

_Dark Helmet: Do something! _

_Sandurz: (into PA) Do something!_

_(Keldeo covered his face with his hooves and moans, shaking his head)_

Oh. . . biscuits. . . I'm so sorry, but Arceus should not have made an appearance in this story. I see no reason why he couldn't have taken care of Zalton. Arceus should've not been present, like, he's vaguely. . .somewhere else balancing universal forces. . .I don't know! I'd rather have him do anything than sitting around reading a magazine!

Okay, so meanwhile, Zalton has the Swords of Justice all chained up. And before you ask, no, they can't just cut themselves out with their Sacred Swords. They couldn't possibly bend their necks that far.

* * *

_"LET US OUT OF HERE, YA PUNK!" roared Terrakion, bounded up, at Zalton._

_The Swords of Justices and Zalton are at the Moor, in a clearing._

_Cobalion, Virizion and Terrakion are stuck together with chains, and they cannot move._

_Zalton, however, is relaxing near a tree._

_"Nah..." went Zalton, grinning like a manic._

_"Don't feel like it..."_

_"Hmph!" went Cobalion._

_"You're disgraceful, using a cheap trick to capture me!"_

_"Hehehehehe..." chuckled Zalton._

* * *

_(Keldeo backed away apprehensively)_

Uuugh!

* * *

_"But worked, didn't it?"_

_"Tch..."_

_"What do you want with us?" calmly, but seriously asked Virizion._

_"You're bait." replied Zalton, looking away cleverly, smirking._

_"For your student."_

_"What do you want with Keldeo?"_

_"I want to kill Keldeo."_

_"YOU WHAT?!" yelled Terrakion, furiously._

_"YOU'RE NOT GONNA TOUCH OUR STUDENT, YOU BAS-"_

_"Silence, Terrakion." stated Cobalion._

_Cobalion turned to Zalton._

_"Why?"_

_"Hahahahaha..." laughed Zalton._

* * *

_(Keldeo shuddered)_

Uuuugh!

Okay, here's the problem with Zalton. He's _waaaaaaay_ too happy. I guess the idea is that he's insane, but do insane people _really_ laugh so much?

* * *

_"To cut a long story short for you lot out there..." started Zalton, smiling like a psychopath._

_"Darkrai caused the Great Fire of Icirrus, and I murdered Keldeo's parents. Does that satisfy you?"_

_As Zalton said that sentence, he had the pleasure of watching the Swords of Justice's faces fall down in shock, and became pale._

_"W-what...?" murmured Cobalion, extremely pale._

_"What did ya say?" asked Terrakion, shivering with fear._

_" .Fire." said Zalton, treating the Swords as if they were stupid._

_" .Student' ."_

_Virizion tried to move back away in shock._

_"Seems like you got the picture..." grinned Zalton, leaning back to relax._

* * *

Okay, now he's _really_ acting like The Joker from_ The Dark Knight._

_Zalton: "You wanna know how I got these scars?"_

_(Keldeo waved his hooves frantically in fear)_

No-no-no! Go away! Go away!

_Zalton: "Why so serious?"_

AHHHH!

_(Keldeo covers his eyes)_

* * *

_Terrakion's face is full of fury._

_"Cobalion, once I get free, I want to kill this Pokemon."_

_"Go ahead, me and Virizion won't stop you."_

_"Agreed."_

_Zalton looked over at the three, while they are talking._

_"I'm sorry, but you won't be able to do that." he stated._

_"How come, you monster?" quizzed Cobalion, frowning._

_"Because once I'm done with your student, you three will be next."_

_"Darn it..." went Virizion._

* * *

_(Keldeo imitates Virizion's voice)_

_"Yes. Darn it! I was sure that you weren't going to kill us and were just going to let us out of these chains and sit still while we attack you- I'm making an idiot out of myself, I think I should just shut up."_

* * *

_"Now, you are probably wondering how I managed to get all three of you."_

_"No really. I want to kill you, ya punk!"_

_"Silence, Terrakion."_

_"Thank you for that, Cobalion." thanked Zalton, dearly. "Now the fat one can be quiet."_

_"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!"_

* * *

_(Keldeo deadpanned)_

Terrakion isn't fat. He's just big.

_Zalton: __"Why so serious?"_

AHHH! Stop that!

* * *

_"Anyway," started Zalton._

_"I couldn't of got you all by myself._

_Cobalion, yes, but what if I ran into trouble?"_

_Zalton jested towards the trees._

_"You can come out now, my slaves."_

_The Swords look towards the trees, and a another Zoroark and a Zorua walk out, the Zoroark being angry and the Zoura being scared._

* * *

_(Keldeo's eyes widened in fear)_

Oh my gosh, he's breeding. . .in the couple of hours after he escaped. . .wow, talk about speed dating.

_"BOOOOO! BOOOOO! BOOOOO!"_

Alright, alright, that was an off color joke, I'm sorry. . .won't do it again. . .I promise.

* * *

_"Grr..." growled the Zoroark. "You'll pay for this...Phantom..."_

_"I'm scared, Meema..." shivered the Zoura, out of pure fright._

_"I don't want you to die..."_

* * *

_(Keldeo looks horrified)_

WAIT A MINUTE! That's. . .Zorua and Zoroark! What are they doing in this story? And why the heck did they help Zalton catch the Swords of justice?!

* * *

_"What the hell did you do to them?!" Virizion snapped at Zalton._

_"Hehehehe...!" chuckled Zalton._

* * *

You know, I just realized something: not even The Joker laughs this much!

* * *

_"It's what I call, 'Blackmail'"_

_"Blackmail?!"_

_"After I caught your foolish leader here, I had to find a way to get you two here as well._

_I encountered these pathetic excuses of my race, and forced them to help me._

_I held that female Zoroark up by the throat, and threaten that I'll murder the kid right in front of her, if she doesn't meet with my demands._

_For the kid, I just had to give him the illusion of me killing his precious 'Meema' to get him to work for me!"_

* * *

That's it? That's it? This Zoroark can fight the three Legendary Beasts to a draw without breaking a sweat, and she can't take on this lunatic? How did he even beat her? Was there a battle? Did he just sneak up on her? And if he got her to obey him by holding her by the throat, well, she's not being held by the throat now! You could always hit him while his back is turned, ya know! And if you're worried about Zorua getting caught in the crossover, just tell him to, oh, I don't know, run really fast!

Okay, I'll forgive not using your illusions like you did to Kodai because either Zalton is more powerful or all Zoroarks are just immune to illusions, but how about a scene that _shows_ us that Zalton could kill Zoroark in a fight, cause I'm not convinced that he's stronger than her. Sure, he's taller and has sharped claws, but that doesn't mean anything.

And you know what else stinks? They already got blackmailed and almost got killed once by Grings Kodai, so why is it happening again? Are they cursed? Why does bad stuff keep happening to them? They don't deserve it, I can tell you that with certainty! What did they ever do to repeatedly go through living Hell?

* * *

"_YOU SICK SON OF A BI-"_

_"Please be quiet, Mister Sword..." whispered Zorua. "Meema is the strongest Pokemon I know. If that nasty ghost is strong enough to threaten Meema, I don't want anyone else hurt."_

* * *

Okay, I guess that's kind of an explanation. . .

* * *

_Terrakion just stared at the Zoura, for a few mintutes._

_After a while, he said: "Sure thing, kid. I'll be quiet."_

_Terrakion looked at Zalton, who is smirking mischievously._

_"Screw you, Zalton...!"_

_"I'm gonna take a nap!"_

* * *

What?!

* * *

_ announced Zalton. "If I find any of you lot gone, including you two..."_

_Zalton pointed at Zororark and Zorua._

_"...I'll tear everything single thing in this world to find and kill you!"_

_Zalton closed his eyes, and then went to sleep._

* * *

And so Zoroark ripped his throat out Zalton dies. The end!

This is Keldeo the Critic and I was wondering. . .do you got any Darumaka Lunch Boxes! PLEASE! I really like Darumaka Lunch Boxes! Come on, feed a Colt Pokemon, huh? Come on, please?

**_Thank You_**

_(Keldeo frowned)_

You know what stinks? THAT'S NOT THE REAL ENDING! He's asleep and they have the perfect opportunity to take him out. I'm sure a quick blow to the head would leave him unconscious for a while, allowing you restrain him. But instead. . .well. . .lets take a look.

* * *

_The Swords look at each other, whilst Zororak and Zorua look down in fear._

_Virizion turned calmly to Zoroark._

_"You said 'Phantom'." she said. "Why?"_

_Zoroark looked extremely nervous._

_Zorua looked scared as well._

_"Well..." started Zoroark. "There is a story. I thought it was a story to scare naughty Zoruas into behaving..."_

_"What was it about?" asked Cobalion._

_"It's of a Zoroark, like none other. It killed for fun, pleasure. It didn't really care about anyone one._

_One say it killed a whole party of humans, by ripping of their limbs, and leaving them to bleed to death._

_It laughs in agony, chuckles in suffering._

_It becomes happy when others are mourning their loves ones, maybe because the Zoroark killed their loves ones._

_It can get away with anything."_

_Zoroark looked over to Zalton, who is fast asleep, but still grinning._

_"That Zoroark is the one there." continued Zoroark. "Zalton, the Phantom of Unova."_

* * *

Well, that's actually kinda cool. Zalton appears to have a place in Zoroark folk lore. He's like the Boogeyman, I guess. I can only imagine how it went we he showed up.

_Zoroark: "It's time for bed, Zorua."_

_Zorua: "No! I don't wanna go to bed yet!"_

_Zoroark: "If you don't got bed, Zalton will get you!"_

_Zorua: "Aww! He's not real!"_

_Zalton: "Ahem!"_

_Zorua and Zoroark turn to see him standing in the cave entrance._

_Zalton: "Why so serious!"_

_Zorua and Zoroark: "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"_

* * *

_Terrakion tried to make a joke, to lighten the mood._

_"Heheh... Hey!" he went, to Zoroark._

_"Want to free us?"_

_"No." stated Zoroark._

_"I rather stay alive than get gutted by that monster."_

_"I won't get on his bad side!" chimed Zorua. "Nasty ghost Zoroark is bad!"_

_"Tch..."_

* * *

Why is everyone so stupid in this movie? _And why isn't Arceus destroying Zalton!?_ Sorry, I'm still on that.

* * *

_The group remained silent._

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

* * *

Okay, this story is obsessed with the long silent parts.

* * *

_…_

_…_

_…_

* * *

Oh, wow, it's even longer than the other ones. This is too awkward.

* * *

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

* * *

Oh come on! The silence is killing me! Someone do something! Say something! Anything!

* * *

_"HEY!" yelled Virizion, at Zalton, causing the others in jump in shock._

_"DEMON KITSUNE! WAKE UP!"_

* * *

_(Keldeo stared blankly for a moment, then he furrowed his brow.)_

Yeah, where are we on the Idiot Meter?

_(A meter depicting the images of various character faces appeared below Keldeo. Virizion's face slowly moved across it.)_

Let's see, we're past Finn and Jake from _Adventure Time_. . .Scrat and Sid from _Ice Age_. . .which puts us right between. . .

_DING!_

Jar-Jar Binks and Patrick Star! WOW! How far you have fallen, Virizion. I am shocked!

* * *

_Zalton didn't wake up, and continued to sleep._

_"VIRIZION!" whispered Terrakion harshly._

_"WHAT THE HELL?!"_

_"He's sound asleep, I was checking." very quietly said Virizion._

* * *

That's right, apparently the Phantom of Unova is a heavy sleeper. Well then, why not try attacking him!

* * *

_"If we move silently, we can escape without him noticing."_

* * *

_(Keldeo gave an annoyed sigh)_

Alright, so Zoroark carefully tries to file her way through the chains.

* * *

_"Ok then."_

_Zoroark quietly walked over to the ropes of Virizion, and began to cut the rope._

* * *

Wait a minute. "Rope"? I thought it was a chain. It clearly said it was a chain! I guess it was a mistake. . .

* * *

_"I have to be quiet..."_

_"I understand."_

* * *

_Elmer Fudd: "Shh! Be vewy, vewy quiet!"_

* * *

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

* * *

I don't get it! Why do we need these big blank spots? We know, it's quiet and tense and suspenseful, but just having dots is just annoying. If you did it once or twice, that would be fine, but it happens, like three or four times a chapter! Why don't you use words instead? I mean, come on, I could do better! Watch!

_Zoroark slowly, slowly, ever so slowly gripped the **chain **__in her claws. Her heart pounded in the eerie silence as she moved her sharp claws across the chain, quietly scratching into it, flecks of metal falling to the ground. The Swords of Justice watched her anxiously as Zorua trembled with fear of being caught by the sleeping demon a few feet away. Terrakion swallowed a large lump in his throat as Virizion held her breath. Cobalion merely closed his eyes and meditated, hoping that this plan would succeed. The seconds turned to minutes as Zoroark worked on the chain, very much aware of the dark presence right behind her. Slowly, slowly she scratched away at the chain, the breaths of her son and allies mingling with the beating of her fearful heart._

THERE! See how much better actual words look compared to a bunch of dots!

Well, because our heroes were too stupid to attack Zalton directly, he wakes up Zoroark ends up getting caught! Big surprise!

* * *

_Suddenly, a sharp pain hit Zoroark in the left arm, and that arm is raised in the air, seized by Zalton._

_"What the hell do you think you are doing?!" rhetorically asked Zalton, seriously._

_Zalton no longer has his smirk on._

_He has a deep and evil scowl on, and his eyes are narrowed, scars almost connecting._

_Zoroark tried to pull her arm away, but can't escape Zalton's grip._

_"You were helping them!" accused Zalton, angry.. "Don't you dare deny it!"_

_"So what if I was?!" resorted back Zoroark. "You're an evil man!"_

* * *

Wh-what?! Did she just call a Zoroark a man? Are you kidding me? Okay, I'll bet anything that when writing this, DragonNiro was thinking of Grings Kodai. That's the only explanation. I don't care how evil he is, Zalton isn't a man!

* * *

_"She and her son are innocents in this!" shouted Virizion._

_Zalton laughed._

_"So what? Innocents are always caught up in war. No one cares about them._

_Innocents die in war, and no one bats a lid. But when a single guy wants revenge and innocents are involved, everyone loses their idiotic minds!"_

* * *

_(Keldeo scratched his chin)_

You know what? I think I've figured what Zalton is. He's a combination of Grings Kodai, The Joker, Hannibal Lector, Bane, _any_ of the Redwall villains, and any other of those hypocritical social commentary villains. This is sadly starting to make sense.

* * *

_"L-l-let go of my M-Meema!" stuttered Zoura._

_Zalton grinned, and then huffed._

_"Fine." he said. "I'll let your mother go."_

_Zoroark looked at Zorua, afraid of what Zalton is about to do._

_"R-really?" asked Zorua._

_"After her punishment for defining me!"_

_What happened next, will stay with everyone who is watching this scene for the rest of their lives._

_Zalton twisted Zoroark around to face him, and grabbed her left arm._

_"W-what are you doing?!" yelled Cobalion._

_"THIS!"_

_**SNAP!**_

_Pain roared through Zoroark's arm._

_"ARGGH!" she screamed, in pure agony._

_"Meema...?!"_

_Zorua went extremely white._

_"That..." murmured Terrakion, going cold._

_"...monster. He's..."_

_"...breaking her arm..." stared Virizion, too shocked to comprehend._

_"...Right in front of her son..."_

_"..." Cobalion is speechless._

_He had never seen such a crueller Pokemon._

_Zalton, starting from Zoroark's hand, moved up each way._

_"This little Tepiggy went to the market!"_

_**SNAP!**_

_"ARRGHH!"_

* * *

_(Keldeo jumps back in repulsion)_

AH!

* * *

_"This little Tepiggy stayed at home!"_

_**SNAP!**_

* * *

AHH!

* * *

_"This little Tepiggy had roast beef!"_

_**SNAP!**_

* * *

AHHHHHH!

* * *

_"This little Tepiggy had none!"_

_**SNAP!**_

* * *

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

* * *

_"And this little Tepiggy cried..."_

_**SNAP!**_

_"'wee wee wee' all the way home!"_

_**SNAP!** **BAM!**_

* * *

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

_(Keldeo abruptly stopped screaming and took a deep breath. He cleared his throat and went to say something-)_

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!

**IN THE GHOST WORLD. . . **

Zalton is sitting on a floating platform when his right ear twitches. He looks up and smiles wickedly.

_". . .aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh. . ."_

"That's my music!" Zalton said with a smile, "My creation is beginning to take its toll on Keldeo. Making me stronger. . ."

Zalton stared at his claws. A red aura was surrounding him.

"Yes. . .the Horcrux is using Keldeo's fear as a power source. It's feeding energy into me. . . energy I can use to leave the Ghost World. It won't last long, but this power should allow me to exist in the living world long enough to get what I need. All I need is that USB drive, and I'll be able to use the Ghost Girl to gain the souls I need to permanently escape!"

Zalton laughed evilly as he turned to a brick wall floating nearby. He tapped a brick, and a portal formed on the wall. The evil Zoroark chuckled darkly as he stepped into the portal, which sealed shut behind him. However, his evil laughter can still be heard echoing from the other side.

* * *

**We'll be right back!**

_**The comments expressed in this review are written in such a way so that negative aspects are used to create jokes. There will NOT be any bashing or ranting. Also, good things in a FanFic will be praised. Particularly bad FanFictions WON'T**** be totally thrashed, but expect to see major grievances addressed.**_


	8. Meloetta the Chick I

**Meloetta the Chick I**

_(A camera came into focus and caught a very nervous looking Meloetta on tape)_

Oh, um, hi. Meloetta here. Talking to you. Um. . .sorry if I'm a little shy. . .I'm not used to being around humans. . .

Okay. . .well. . .back to my point, which I was about to make before. . .yep.

Alright, here me out. I really want to review some things, but Matthais doesn't have enough resources to sponsor me! Also, he's not interested in the stuff I wanna do, like Song Fics and Sweet Heartwarming One-shots and Gushy Romances and other girly fanfics.

So, yeah, I'm kinda stuck.

That's where you all come in.

You see, um, if it wouldn't be too much trouble. . .could one of you. . .maybe. . .if you're not too busy. . .give me a review show on your account?

You don't have to put up a review every week. I won't mind not doing reviews very often. I would get kinda shy without Keldeo around, but I'm sure after a while I'd get really confident in my reviews! So, could you give me a place to set things up? Maybe I shouldn't have asked, it was just a thought. I don't mind just watching Keldeo's reviews. . .but if any of you would like to help me. . .only if you _really _want to. . .

Oh dear! I'm so embarrassed! I think I better end this now. Okay. Love you all! BYEEEEEEEE!

_(Meloetta quickly flew off to the back of the camera and turned it off.)_


	9. KeldeoXMeloetta FINALE- Part 2

_**The review must go on!**_

**Keldeo the Critic**

**"KeldeoXMeloetta Sixty Oneshots and Prompts" (4 Part Finale) by DragonNiro**

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!

_(Keldeo stopped screaming and fell to his knees, breathing heavily.)_

Okay. . .let's try this again. . .

* * *

_"W-what are you doing?!" yelled Cobalion._

_"THIS!"_

_**SNAP!**_

* * *

_(Keldeo quickly hit the fast forward button and skipped a few seconds ahead.)_

So after seeing his mother's arm get broken, Zorua does the only logical decision.

* * *

_"YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS!" screamed Zoura, angry as hell._

_Zoura tried to tackle Zalton, but he grabbed Zoura by the throat, and held him up in the air._

_"Hey, kid." said Zalton, annoyed._

_"See ya mama over there?"_

_"..."_

_"By the silence of you, I can guess you know." grinned Zalton._

_"If you mess with me again, I'll kill you AND your Meema." Zalton grinned evilly. "Now, piss off!"_

_Zalton dropped Zoura if he was a ball, and kicked him against a tree._

_**BAM!**_

_Zoura fell to the floor, unconscious._

* * *

AH!

* * *

_"To be honest..." started Zalton, kicking Zoroark in her broken arm, causing her to scream in pain._

_"...the kid had it coming."_

* * *

AHH!

* * *

_Zoroark shivered in pain. "Besides, what are you gonna to do?_

_That shattered arm of yours looks painful._

_What are you gonna do, flop on me?"_

_Zoroark grinned, although in pain. "...Don't...tempt me..."_

_Zalton frowned. He kicked again._

_"ARGHHH!"_

* * *

AAAAHHHHHHH!

Okay seriously, what is with the violence is this story? It is _terrifying_! Is Zalton Mephistopheles's or Beelzebub's Pokemon? I make a rule out of staying away from Demonology, but, I know they'd like him! They couldn't possibly pass up owning a Pokemon as demonic as this!

Speaking of violence, you might be wondering, why is Zalton keeping Zorua and Zoroark around if they've already helped him catch the Swords of Justice and are no longer any use to him?

_(Keldeo looked around wide eyed and shook his head)_

I don't know! I have no idea!

Oh, and I'm not kidding, the sound of Zoroark's bones being snapped in half combined with Zalton's horrible voice and hideous face, is the most horrible experience you could ever have. Worse than Grings Kodai.

I _know_ I can't take that back, but I'm standing by my word, he is worse than Grings Kodai. _Smile HD _was less frightening, and this could really benefit from some _Dragon Ball Z _style fighting!

Maybe this wouldn't be too bad if I were just reading it, but remember, someone had the bright idea to animate this and send it to me! And, oh my gosh, the images are scary! They are way too scary. Every second it's on, It looks like Zalton's trying to jump out and _kill _me! I feel like I'm in one of Kyurem the Critic's Creepy Pastas! It's scary! It's really scary! So why am I still watching it! Am I some kind of masochist or something! NO! So that's it, I'm not watching this anymore!

_(Keldeo took out the USB drive and brought out his Secret Sword. He held it high and swung down at the USB drive to slice it in half. However, just as the Sword hit the USB, it stopped and was caught in a red, glowing barrier. Keldeo stared in horror at the USB drive as the red aura burned brightly around it. Keldeo's eyes widened in fear and screamed as a burst of fire came out of the USB drive and knocked him flat on his back.)_

* * *

"Yeah, I don't mean to call, but Kyurem would never help _me_, and you're just the only good decent Pokemon I could think of to solve this and. . ." Keldeo took a few deep breaths as he looked down at his tablet and said, "I think I've got a possessed USB drive."

On the other end was a Lucario wearing a Santa hat.

_**Santa Paws! Santa Paws! We all love Santa Paws!**_

Santa Paws shook his head and laughed as he spoke into the phone, "Oh-ho-ho-ho! No, Critic. Stories and animation can be violent and scary sometimes, but I assure you, that doesn't necessarily mean it's possessed. Ho ho."

Keldeo is still fearful however, and said, "But there's this Zoroark called Zalton, the Phnatom of Unova, and I-."

Santa Paw's theme comes to an abrupt stop.

The Lucario gasped in shock, "_The Phantom of Unova!"_

And to Keldeo's shock, Santa Paws hung up on him.

"Hello? Hello!?" Keldeo said fearfully, and he looked around nervously. Suddenly an arm reaches out from behind Keldeo and grabbed his sholder. Keldoe cried out in fear and turned around to see that it was Santa Paws.

"_Is it secret? Is it safe?_" Santa Paws gasped.

Keldeo looked to the USB drive lying on the ground. Santa Paws bent down over it and put his right paw onto it.

Keldoe cocked his head at the Lucario, "Santa Paws, what are you doing?"

Santa Paws shushes him, and then closes his eyes in concentration. Keldeo watched as a blue aura formed around Santa Paws' paw and seemed to surround the red aura of the USB drive. Santa Paws stood like this for about a minute, and then he open his eyes and dispelled the aura.

He nodded gravely and said, "Just as I though. This is the One USB, an epic story fused with the soul of its antagonist, and animated in the darkness of the Ghost World, now set loose upon the world of the living. One of two things must happen. Either you must return it to its creator, or...you must finish watching it. All the way through."

Keldeo gulped, but then he nodded, "Well, I was able to read to _KeldeoXMeloetta Sixty Oneshots and Prompts _when everyone else thought it was the _Six Tens Fanfic_! So yeah, I shouldn't have any trouble watch-_ You take it!"_

"WHAT?!" Santa Paws said.

"You're stronger than Meloetta, you can handle this."

"No."

"Please take it."

"You've already watched half of it, so you have to finish it."

"Just take it off my hands. It'd be wonderful if you could take it."

"What you're asking is impossible"

"I am giving it to you. Please take it off my hands, I'm sick of looking at it,"

"No no no no no no no no no. . ."

"It's brought me so much misery, there's not many words-."

"This isn't a joke!" Santa Paws shouted, "That _Six Tens Fanfic _nonsense was just that! Nonsense! There was nothing wrong with DragonNiro's stories! The Swords of Justice were just angry that it made them look silly. There was no real curse or prophecy in that story! But this. . .animation you found is in reality the soul of an evil spirit that turned DragonNiro's finale into an animated Slasher/Horror movie! Understand, Critic, if you give me this USB drive, and the animation contained therin, it _will _consume me. There's no doubt about that."

"Can't you just exorcise it?" Keldeo asked.

"I've never done that before!"

"You could try!"

Santa Paws sighed, "Well, maybe I could, but I don't dare try it until its been weakened a bit."

"Well how do we weaken it?!" Keldeo asked.

Santa Paws looked Keldeo straight in the eye, "You have to finish the movie."

Keldeo sighed and hung id head, "I just wish I had never seen this. . ."

Santa Paws put an arm around Keldeo's shoulder, "Keldeo, I'm not going to try and justify this. It _is_ unfair that you have to go through this. But you're the greatest Pokemon Critic that's ever been. Only you would be able to defeat the One USB. You're a Sword of Justice. You are brave, and I know you can do it. Do it for DragonNiro, who worked so hard to create such a hardcore tale with epic battles and a terrifying villain. You can't let some evil spirit take advantage of all his hard work. You have to take this thing down."

Keldeo nodded, and he patted Santa Paws on the back, "I guess you're right. Thanks Santa Paws."

The Lucario smiled, "No problem. Well, I better be getting back. Once you finish the movie, call me and I'll come and finish it off for you. Oh, and here, have a Pumpkin Taco!"

Keldeo stared at the odd looking orange taco that Santa Paws produced out of nowhere.

"Ho ho ho ho ho!" Santa Paws laughed as he walked of into the forest.

_**Santa Paws! Santa Paws! We all love Santa Paws!**_

Keldeo stared at the taco for a minute, but then called out, "Look, can we stick to referencing one Nostalgia Critic episode at a time?" Keldeo then looked at the taco, shrugged, and ate it.

"Mm. . .mm. . .wow, that's good. Doug Walker ought to send an Email to Taco Bell. . ."

* * *

So, since Terrakion is stupid in this story, he pisses Zalton off by mentioning Coltdeo. Who's Coltdeo? Well, apparently, that was my father's name. Yeah, real clever.

* * *

_He raised a claw. "Since your comrade mentioned his name..." he started, filled with hatred. "...he'll join Coltdeo..."_

_Zalton's claw glows. "...in Hell!"_

* * *

_RED Demoman: "Oooh they're gunna have to gloo yoo bach together. . .IN HELL!"_

* * *

_Zalton went to strike down on Terrakion, when he noticed something._

_"Eh?"_

_Suddenly, a tree hit Zalton, causing him to crash into another._

_**CRASH!**_

_The Swords of Justice stare, at Zalton, in disbelief._

_Zalton, holding his head whilst getting up from the attack, yelled: "Who the funk did that?!"_

_"I did!" proudly replied a voice loudly._

_The Swords of Justice and Zalton saw that Meloetta had turned up, she being the one that threw the tree at Zalton, with her psychic powers._

* * *

_(Keldeo smiled widely)_

Well, what do ya know! The only character to actually _do_ something in this story was Meloetta!

* * *

_Also, with her, for some reason that the author wants them in the story, Victini and Genesect._

* * *

Oh- and she brought back-up! I haven't been so impressed since the day Mega Man brought a rope to tie up Dr. Willy!

So Vicitni and Genesect go to free the Swords of Justice-

* * *

_**BAM!**_

_Victini hit a tree._

_Zalton had quickly thrown Victini into a tree._

_"You two are not of this!" snarled Zalton._

_"You will not free the Swords!_

_If you try to, I'll stick my claw through your chest!"_

_Meloetta stepped foward._

_"Those two, the Zoroark and the Zoura..." she went. "Can we at least take them to see some medical help?"_

_"...Fine."_

_Meloetta turned to the two, Victini slowly coming back over._

_"Take the Zoroark and Zoura to the Hall for some medical attention."_

_Genesect saluted._

_"Sure thing, Mels!" he said, and as quick as the Flash, he had Zoroark over his shoulder. Victini sighed, and went to pick up Zoura._

* * *

Before you ask why they don't just help Meloetta defeat Zalton, you have to realize that Zoroark and Zorua have been seriously injured and probably do need medical attention.

However, there is still a problem with this scene.

WHY DIDN'T MELOETTA BRING ARCEUS OR MEWTWO OR RAYQUAZA OR THE LEGENDARY BEASTS OR THE KAMI TRIO OR RESHIRAM OR ZEKROM OR KYRUEM OR-

_(10 minutes later)_

Alright, I'm calm now. You could argue that the Legendaries are miles away and fighting their own battles or keeping nature in balance or are asleep in a some stone or in realm. However, may I remind you that the last time we saw Kyurem, he stormed off search of Darkrai, Articuno and Regice are just sitting around in the Cold Room, and ARCEUS IS SITTING AROUND READING A MAGAZINE!

I'm sorry, I can't let that go. You have ARCEUS, the strongest Pokemon in existence, just sitting around reading a magazine, when there's a psychotic killer on the loose! Give me a break!

So. . .(sigh). . . Victini and Genesect take Zorua and Zoroark to safety-

* * *

_"Stop..." weakly went Zoroark._

* * *

_(Keldeo shook his head and blinked)_

Wait, what?

* * *

_She stared at Meloetta._

_"Why...are you doing this...?" she asked._

_"We don't know each other, and...Zalton will kill you..."_

* * *

Uhh. . .now is not the time for this, Zoroark. Broken arm, remember? And I find it odd that Zalton is just standing there as Meloetta and Zoroark have their little conversation.

* * *

_"My boyfriend, the Pokemon that Zalton is wanting to kill, in usually a nice and kind Pokemon, who's brave._

_But, due to Zalton's appearance, my sweet Kelde has turned into a monster, wanting revenge._

* * *

Killing a serial killer isn't revenge! It's justice!

Killing a thief or a bully, now _that's _revenge. I mean, come on! How many people did Zalton murder in the war? He made Team Fortress 2 look like _Dragon Tales!_

* * *

_You have your son, and if you were to die, I think he'll turn out like Zalton."_

_Zalton snarled at the comment._

* * *

_"Yes! I'm going to sit here and snarl at you instead of just attacking right now while you're distracted."_

* * *

_As for Zalton, I don't care._

_As long he he goes, Keldeo can return to normal."_

* * *

Wha-the-bu- You just called me a monster for wanting to kill Zalton, oh but its okay for you to kill him?

* * *

_Zoroark is silent for a minute._

_**BANG!**_

_"Hey, bug boy!" she went, hitting Genesect. "Take me and my son to your healing thing."_

* * *

_"You no what? Nope! We could have gotten you there by now if you didn't stop to interrogate Meloetta, and now you hit me and call me names? Well screw you, I'm not taking you anywhere. You can just lie here and rot for all I care. Victini can carry your son, but you're going nowhere. Sorry, you blew it. You dead!"_

_(Keldeo shook his head and waved a hoof)_

No, no, no, I'm just kidding, that didn't happen. Vicitin and Genesect take the mother and child to safety, meaning its just Meloetta and Zalton.

* * *

_Meloetta faced Zalton, who did not look impressed, folding his arms._

_"Who the heck are you?!" he asked._

_"Have you ever seen a show?"_

_"Yeah, why?"_

_"Let's say Keldeo is the main act..." smirked Meloetta, turning into her Piroetta form._

_"...I'm the starting act!"_

* * *

_(Keldeo face hoofed)_

You do realize that you just said that you're gonna end up dying so Keldeo can come in and take over, right? why not say something more positive, like, "The curtains coming down early," or ,"The main act has been canceled,"?

So we get our battle scene, which is really, really, _really _good! Seriously, I have to admit, its pretty awesome. Sure, you don't have the animated version, but reading it is just as awesome. Seriously, go there and read it now!

But in a really strange turn of events, Meloetta uses a combination of Hyper Voice and Hyper Beam. . .and defeats Zalton?

* * *

_In the time it took for him to get back up, Meloetta charged one more Hyper Beam._

_She fired it._

_The beam engulfed Zalton in it's blast._

_In the aftermath of it, he fell to the ground, unconscious._

_Meloetta slumped against a tree, and sighed._

_"Geez, that was hard..." she went, tiredly._

_She huffed and puffed._

_"I think I never fought so hard..."_

_"You did well!" called Cobalion, still bounded up. "But it's not over!"_

_"We need to take him back to the Hall, to be judged." stated Virizion, firmly. "But, for now, free us."_

_Meloetta tiredly got up, and walked over to the Swords, to free them._

_As Meloetta is trying to break the rope, _

* * *

Uh, don't you mean chain? Errors are so annoying. . .

* * *

_Terrakion, who was facing the other way during the battle, had something to say._

_"There's something that I don't get..." started Terrakion._

_"What is it?" asked Virizion._

_"Well, isn't Zalton suppose to be the 'Phantom'?"_

_"Yeah, so?"_

_"From what I heard, the 'Phantom' is suppose to be a master of Illusion. He's so good at it, his Illusions actually hurt, due to him being in disguise so much."_

_"That's interesting..."_

_"He's also rumoured to be very powerful. Why did he go down so easily...?"_

* * *

Uh oh. . .

* * *

_Terrakion's eyes widened in what he said._

_"Crap!" He tried to turn to Meloetta._

* * *

What!? Did Terrakion just come out and say the word "crap?" Are you serious?

Well, we all know what happens next.

* * *

_Suddenly, out of nowhere, Zalton appeared, and grabbed Meloetta from behind._

_"Hahaha! Suprise, motherlicker!" laughed Zalton._

* * *

Here's an idea! Instead of using all these clean curse words that sound awkward and pathetic, don't use curses at all!

* * *

_Zalton lifted Meloetta in the air, walked over to a tree, and slammed her right into it, breaking the tree slightly, leaving a crater._

_"ARGH!" screamed Meloetta._

* * *

Uhhhh. . .

* * *

_"I'm gonna do this over and over...!" said Zalton, walking over to another tree._

_He slammed Meloetta into another. "...until every bone in your body breaks!" exclaimed Zalton, excitedly._

_"ARGHH!" screamed Meloetta again._

* * *

Uhhhhh. . ..

* * *

_The Swords are trying to get free._

_"I'LL GET YOU, YOU BUGGER!" roared Terrakion, furiously._

_"Hang on, Meloetta!" yelled Virizion._

_"Grr..." growled Cobalion._

_**SLAM!**_

_"ARGGH!"_

_**SLAM!**_

_"AAAAAA!"_

_**SLAM!**_

_"ARGHH!"_

_**SLAM!**_

_"ARGHH!"_

_**SLAM!**_

_"ARGHH!"_

* * *

_(Keldeo shouted in aguish and covered his eyes)_

Oh my gosh! It's bad enough we had that arm breaking scene! Can you imagine showing those two scenes back to back!?

_(Keldeo's eyes widened in horror as he realized what he just said.)_

**_DON'T SHOW THOSE TWO BACK TO BACK!_**

* * *

_**SNAP!**_

_Pain roared through Zoroark's arm._

_"ARGGH!" she screamed, in pure agony._

* * *

_Zalton lifted Meloetta in the air, walked over to a tree, and slammed her right into it, breaking the tree slightly, leaving a crater._

_"ARGH!" screamed Meloetta._

* * *

_Zalton, starting from Zoroark's hand, moved up each way._

_"This little Tepiggy went to the market!"_

_**SNAP!**_

_"ARRGHH!"_

* * *

_**SLAM!**_

_"ARGGH!"_

* * *

_"This little Tepiggy stayed at home!"_

_**SNAP!**_

* * *

_**SLAM!**_

_"AAAAAA!"_

* * *

_"This little Tepiggy had roast beef!"_

_**SNAP!**_

* * *

_**SLAM!**_

_"ARGHH!"_

* * *

___"This little Tepiggy had none!"_

_**SNAP!**_

* * *

_**SLAM!**_

_"ARGHH!"_

* * *

_ "And this little Tepiggy cried..."_

_**SNAP!**_

_"'wee wee wee' all the way home!"_

_**SNAP!** **BAM!**_

* * *

_**SLAM!**_

_"ARGHH!"_

* * *

_(For a frightening few minutes, Keldeo went wild and started hacking at the ground with his Secret Sword like a maniac. However, he suddenly appeared to regain his sense enough to staggered with wide eyes and a trembling body to a nearby rock, He turned it over, revealing a Soothe Bell underneath. He quickly picked it up with his teeth and shook it wildly. After swinging the ringing bell for another minute, Keldeo dropped the bell and fell onto his side with a splash. He lay there for another minute, taking big gasping breaths. Keldeo weakly got up to his hooves and but the Soothe Bell back in its place. He then made his way back to his laptop and sighed, and reluctantly started the movie.)_

So . . .it looks like Meloetta's done for.

* * *

_"No...more..." she mumbled, weakly._

_Zalton's claw glows._

_He grins._

_"Fine then..." he says, raising his claw, grinning. Meloetta's eyes widened._

_"...it's time for you to die!" yelled Zalton._

_"Meloetta, no!" screamed Virizion._

_The other two Swords are in shock._

_They are helpless to stop this._

_"No..." murmured the Song Pokemon._

_"Say goodbye!" Zalton went to strike Meloetta._

* * *

Oooh! A dramatic part! Let's put a big empty space here!

* * *

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

_"SECRET SWORD!"_

_Suddenly, a large gash appeared in the arm that Zalton is using to hold Meloetta._

_He drops her in pain, grabbing his arm to stop the pain._

_Meloetta, managed to move out of the way, gasps._

_Keldeo has arrived, in his Resolution Form._

_He looks very angry._

_"Get the HELL off my girlfriend, you freak!" yelled Keldeo, angrily._

_Zalton glares at Keldeo._

_"Ah..." he went. "The main act has arrived..."_

* * *

Oh, thank goodness, I'm here. That means the story's almost over!

* * *

_Keldeo rushed over to Meloetta._

_For some reason, Zalton let him pass._

* * *

Will something in this story please make sense!

* * *

_"Are you ok?" he asked, to Meloetta. "I got pain all over my body, I'm tired, and I'm bleeding..." murmured Meloetta, in pain._

_"Sounds like you got it bad..." said Keldeo._

* * *

_Patrick Tatopoulos: "That's a lot of fish!"_

* * *

_Keldeo lifted up Meloetta, and took her over to the Swords, and placed her down there._

_Keldeo turned round, without a word, and began to walk towards Zalton,who he is glaring at Keldeo._

* * *

Uhh. . .Secret Sword can cut through chains. . .

* * *

_"Kelde..." Keldeo stopped and glanced back._

_"Yes, Meloetta?"_

_"Don't do this... There must be another way to stop Zalton..."_

* * *

Yeah, like, cutting the other Swords of Justice free first. Have a little back-up? Maybe have Virizion carry Meloetta to safety? She is bleeding a lot.

* * *

_"This is the only way, Meloetta. Nothing less, nothing more."_

_Kelde, there's something I must tell you..."_

_"What is it?" "Darkrai's promise... The promise that he was made to held... The Pokemon wh-"_

_"To be honest, Meloetta." interrupted Keldeo, darkly._

_Meloetta shivered in pain and fright._

_"I don't care about Darkrai or that stupid promise of his._

_He burnt this place._

_Zalton killed my parents._

_Once I kill Zalton, I will kill Darkrai. And nothing else will stop me."_

* * *

Why do you want to kill Darkrai? Do you really think he did it on purpose? It had to have been an accident or trick Zalton lured him in to. Use your mind!

Well, that can wait, right now is the final epic battle between the Sword of Justice and the Spawn of Satan.

* * *

_What's that place that I was sealed in?"_

_"The Hall of Origin?"_

_"Yeah, it's a nice place." went Zalton, frowning._

_"Might go there after this. Get some eggs, some milk..."_

* * *

Great! Now we have to add _GLaDOS_ into the mix of villains that make up Zalton.

* * *

_Zalton's eyes widened in pure fury, psychotically._

_"...AND BURN IT TO F***KING GROUND!"_

_Keldeo stood back a bit, due to Zalton's foul language._

_Zalton composed himself._

_"I'm sorry, I'm usually far more composed. I'm just a bit..."_

_Zalton's eyes, again, widened in pure fury._

_"...ABSOLUTELY LIVID."_

* * *

And now he's bipolar. Not even Jim Carrey as _The Mask _is this random! Could you go back to being The Joker again?

* * *

_"Stop being such a pansy."stated Keldeo, firm._

_Zalton growled._

_"You know, you are being a bit too serious for my liking."_

* * *

That's more like it.

* * *

_His eyes glowed. "Take this."_

_A illusion suddenly started playing. Keldeo's parents appeared in front of him, all bloody, and have stab wounds going through them._

_Keldeo stood back in fear._

_They began to walk._

_"...You failed to save us..." quietly whispered Keldeo's mother, darkly._

_"...You're a disgrace..." murmured his father._

_They both stop at the sides of Keldeo._

_Their eyes widened psychotically._

_"...and now, you are going to die..."_

_They disappear. Keldeo almost collapsed in shock, but is struggling to keep himself up._

* * *

_(Keldeo is enraged and shaking with anger)_

Well wasn't that a nice image-

* * *

_A illusion suddenly started playing. Keldeo's parents appeared in front of him, all-_

* * *

**_DON'T SHOW IT AGAIN!_**

* * *

_Keldeo stood up, although quaking in fear._

_"Bring...it...on!"_

_Zalton grins. "Prepare, Keldeo, son of Coltdeo and Maredeo, because, I'll tear you apart!"_

* * *

_Cresselia is having a bad day._

* * *

WHAT!? You're leaving the final battle just to check up on Cresselia?

Well, actually, it does serve a purpose. You see it turns out that Darkrai runs into Cresslia just as he's about to leave and help defeat Zalton. . .something all the other Legendary Pokemon should be doing right now.

* * *

_"What are you going to do with that sword, kill someone?" sarcastically asked Cresseila._

_"Hopeful."_

_Cresseila jumped (floated?) back._

_"W-w-w-what?!"_

_"I am going to keep a promise of mine, from a long time ago. He has returned, and is battling Keldeo. I plan to kill him, and defend Keldeo, with my life."_

_Cresseila is taken aback._

_"What?"_

_"I'm a Pokemon who keeps their promise, not matter what."_

_Darkrai finished cleaning the sword, and put it back in it's holder._

_He put in on his back, and began walking._

_"Darkrai...?"_

_"I may not return. If I don't return, I'm sorry for being a coward on that day."_

_"Can you at least tell me something?"_

_"Sure."_

_"Who is this promise you were made?" Darkrai stopped._

_"Keldeo's father, Coltdeo. He made me promise to protect Keldeo from Zalton."_

* * *

_"Watch out! Samurai Jack! Back to the past! Samurai Jack! Jack, Jack, Jack. Jack, Jack, Jack. Watch out!"_

So we go back to the hopefully final battle between me and Zalton.

* * *

_The scene is set._

_Zalton and Keldeo are in a circle of illusionary fire._

* * *

Oh gee, this isn't cliché at all.

_Portal 2 Announcer: Sarcasm Sphere Self-Test Complete_

* * *

_They glare at each other._

_Oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa. _

_A battle to the death._

_Who ever wins, the other dies. Oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa._

* * *

_(Keldeo blinked in confusion)_

Hello!. . . .Song?

So yeah, there's a song in this?

Okay, so now he's a Sonic the Hedgehog boss! Personally I'd prefer something like the music from the Sword Duel with Gannondorf in Twilight Princess.

Well, again, we get a totally awesome battle that I just cannot describe, its so epic. Even when Zalton doesn't play fair.

* * *

_B-B-B-Be careful making wishes in the dark, dark _

_Wishes are hopeless._

_Zalton blind Keldeo by making an illusion of darkness._

_He attack Keldeo from behind with_

_Slash. Keldeo tried to hit Zalton, but missed._

_Trolling Keldeo, he kept poking him at certain parts, to mess with him._

* * *

So after unleashing our entire arsenal of moves on each other, which results in an ungodly amount of blood, Zalton decides to do some more torturing.

_(Keldeo threw up his hooves in desperation.)_

Because yeah, that's what I need. This frightening movie to go on longer. Let's celebrate with more horrible imagery!

* * *

_Keldeo then noticed that Zalton has Meloetta gripped in his claws._

_"From what I heard, this is your girlfriend, right?"_

_"Grrr..."_

_"She looks very fragile at the moment. I wonder what happens if I did this?"_

_With his other hand, Zalton grabbed hold one of Meloetta's arms, and began to bend it slowly._

_"ARGHH!" screamed Meloetta, in pain._

* * *

Aaaaaaugh!

You freakin' sadist! I'm so mad I'm gonna-

_(Keldeo suddenly cocked his head and blinked)_

Have a little conversation with Zalton about it?

* * *

_"Hey, Zalton!"_

_"What is it?"_

_"So what are you doing?!"_

_"What am I doing?"_

_"What are you doing?!"_

_"Nothing much."_

_"Breaking my girlfriend's arm?!"_

_"Breaking your girlfriend's arm?"_

_"Are you?!"_

_…_

_…_

_…_

_"Yes."_

* * *

GET ON WITH IT!

_Monty Python Army: "GET ON WITH IT!"_

* * *

_…_

_…_

_…_

_"I'M GONNA F**KING KILL YOU!"_

* * *

Oh that's nice! I swore! Why am I not surprised!

* * *

_Keldeo leapt at Zalton, pure fury in his eyes._

_Zalton grinned, and dropped Meloetta, and disappeared with an illusion._

* * *

Bastard!

So, the battle continues.

* * *

_"Hey, Keldeo..." went Zalton._

_"Do you know what I did?"_

_"I know what you did in the dark, Zalton." replied Keldeo._

* * *

Oh look. A title drop.

* * *

_"You killed the first two beings that loved me."_

_Zalton grinned._

_"That's right! And I enjoyed it!"_

_"In the darkness of this Moor, I will kill you."_

_"You all bark, Keldeo, no bite! Almost like your father!_

_Stupid man..."_

* * *

They're Pokemon!

* * *

_Keldeo ran at Zalton and Zalton ran at Keldeo._

_Secret Sword, and Punishment._

_They collided._

_My songs know what you did in the dark _

_Zalton is knocked back, and resorts with Flamethrower._

_Keldeo shoots Bubblebeam to to the Flames back._

_So light 'em up, up, up _

_Zalton pushes harder with the Flames._

_So does Keldeo, with his Bubblebeam._

_Light 'em up, up, up Light 'em up, up, up_

_I'm on fire_

_Keldeo manages to push the flames back hard enough, and the flames, plus the bubbles, hit's Zalton in the face._

_At the same time, the fiery illusion intensifies again._

_Zalton fires the Flamethrower again, and Keldeo also fires Bubblebeam._

* * *

Oh my gosh,_ it's still going!_ This battle feels like an eternity!

* * *

_So light 'em up, up, up _

_Each beams becomes stronger by each second._

_Keldeo and Zalton are straining to push each other back._

_Light 'em up, up, up_

_Light 'em up, up, up_

_I'm on fire_

_Zalton pushes Keldeo back with the flames._

_Keldeo gets hit by Flamethrower._

_Keldeo goes tumbling back, hitting a tree._

_He growls, and the Moor become darker._

* * *

_(Throughout the battle scene, Keldeo occasional grabs a smart phone, but keeps forcing himself to put it down. After the third time, Keldeo managed to finally make a call and put it to his ear.)_

_"Hello, this is Spyro the Dragon-."_

_(Keldeo shouted his plea)_

END THIS BATTLE!

* * *

_Zalton grinned, and turned back round to face Keldeo._

_"Fine, then. Want to know how I got this scar, on my chest?"_

* * *

_(Keldeo was taken aback by this)_

Now he's referencing The Joker _directly_? I'm not even sure if Zalton is technically a character anymore. He's more like the embodiment of every psychotic murderer antagonist ever conceived.

* * *

_"Your mother did this to me._

_I was going to kill that pathetic excuse of a Pokemon, Coltdeo, when your slut of a mother slashed me down the chest._

_Thank Arceus that I killed them!"_

_"...Don't talk about my parents like that._

_They were good, you're evil._

_You deserved it."_

_"Oh really, Keldeo?_

_And what's your meaning of good?_

_Mines is anyone who is on my side._

_Anyone else who defines me, or my target, are the evil ones."_

_"..."_

_"Everybody absolutely LOVES you._

_You're brave, smart, all the good things._

_But under that shell of yours, is a scared little child, longing of-_

* * *

OH MY GOSH!

_(Keldeo face hoofed multiple times)_

You know why I hate these stupid Hannibal Lecture/ Evil Speeches of Evil? Because it gives the heroes a chance to strike, but the never do! The villain is busy running his mouth, do something! Do I have to play the clip from _Spaceballs _again?

So, one Evil Speech of Evil later. . .

* * *

_Zalton casted a illusion of the Swords._

_Terrakion and Virizion frowning, whilst Cobalion is scowling disappointedly._

_"You can no longer be a Sword." the illusionary Cobalion says._

_"You cannot be a brave Pokemon, therefore, you must die."_

_Keldeo falls onto his knees, pale_

* * *

They're Illusions! You know, NOT REAL! _Silver Surfer on the SNES_ has more dignity than this!

* * *

_Keldeo quickly got up, and used Secret Sword on Zalton, which collided with his chest._

_Zalton fell back, a gash on his chest._

* * *

_(Keldeo perked up and smiled)_

Alright! Now we're talking!

* * *

_Zalton shot a barrage of Night Dazes at Keldeo._

_Oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa. In the dark, dark_

_The Night Dazes hit Keldeo, and massive damages is received._

_Keldeo is so scared, he can't attack back._

_Pure fear is among him._

_The killer of his parents is in front of him, and he is going to kill Keldeo._

_"I know what you're doing in the dark, Keld!" exclaimed Zalton, smirking evilly, putting his hands together in a Mr. Burns sort of way._

_"Being a coward, not fighting back!"_

* * *

_(Keldeo's face fell)_

Wait, what? Who's Mr. Burns? And, uh, I'm pretty sure I've been fighting back pretty hard during this battle that's taking _forever_!

* * *

_Zalton stops, and raises his claw, to strike Keldeo. "Now, Keldeo, go to hell!" No hope. Zalton goes to strike Keldeo, claw descending..._

* * *

Me? Going to Hell? What the heck is wrong with you! You're the insane guy who goes around murdering people! I'm the guy trying to stop you? Why would _I _go to Hell? Talk about an empty threat!

* * *

_And it stops. Keldeo's eyes widened, along with Meloetta and the Swords._

_A hand of shadows in gripping Zalton's arm firmly._

_That hand belongs to a shadowy being, who is saying nothing._

_That being has Zalton pinned, with a katana pointing into Zalton's back. Meloetta stutters:_

* * *

_(Keldeo has a deadpanned expression and is speaking in a monotone)_

It's Darkrai.

* * *

_…._

_…_

* * *

It's Darkrai.

* * *

_…_

_…_

* * *

His hand is shadowy

* * *

_…_

_…_

* * *

He's got a sword.

* * *

_…_

_…_

* * *

It's Darkrai.

* * *

_"D-Darkrai?"_

* * *

Oh, hey! It's Darkrai!

_"Watch out! Samurai Jack! Back to the-"_

Alright, alright, that joke's getting old!

So we're finally at the final part of this story. "Thank you for everything."

More like "Thank you for finally ending this story!"

* * *

_"...Keldeo." started Darkrai. "Are you ok...?"_

_Keldeo blinked, and then frowned._

_"No, I'm not." he said. "I'm going to kill Zalton, then you!"_

* * *

"Yes! You just saved my life and I'm gonna kill you!"

. . .

Oh my gosh, I suck in this story.

So, Darkrai finally tells me the truth about his promise.

* * *

_"The Pokemon who made me take the promise was your father, Coltdeo._

_He made me promise to protect you from Zalton, if he ever came back._

_I'm fulfilling that promise."_

_"WHAT?!" yelled Zalton, snarling in anger._

_"THAT BAS-"_

_"...Yet again, shut it!" interrupted Darkrai._

_Keldeo blinked._

_"D-dad...?"_

_"Yes. I managed to drive Zalton away before he tried to strike you._

_Your parents had fatal wounds. There was nothing I could do._

_Your father, however, made me take the promise._

_I failed one, and I don't intend to fail another._

_"What was the failed promise?" questioned Keldeo._

_"I'll explain later."_

_Darkrai jested to katana to Zalton._

_"So, Phantom." stated Darkrai._

_"It all ends here."_

* * *

Yes! Thank you!

* * *

_"Hehehehe..." chuckled Zalton._

* * *

Will you cut out the laughing! _You're about to die!_ But come to think of it, The Joker did crack up laughing as he fell of that building in _The Dark Knight._

* * *

_"This guilt of yours, it started here, and it will end here."_

_"I agree."_

_"..."_

_"..."_

_"..."_

_"..."_

_"...What are you waiting for? Finish me!" yelled Zalton._

_"No." stated Darkrai._

_"I'm going to do something, something that you have never done to your victims."_

_"What is it?"_

_"Showing mercy."_

* * *

_(Keldeo was smiling as he held a hoof to his ear)_

Pardon?

* * *

_"Showing mercy."_

* * *

_(Keldeo repeatedly banged his head on the ground)_

He was an evil spy in the Unova Civil War, he killed my parents, he tore up Meloetta and Zoroark, he attacked a baby Zorua, and you're gonna. . .what are you gonna do anyway?

* * *

_Keldeo's eyes widened._

_"What are you talking about?! Kill him!"_

_"To kill someone takes a lot of courage._

_To show mercy to them, is even stronger."_

_Keldeo remained silent._

_"Zalton," started Darkrai, menacingly._

_"I'm going to give you two options."_

_"Heh..."_

_"The first, the mercy one._

_I will let you go, and live, on one condition._

_You will never kill again._

_You will go live by yourself until your dying days._

_You will leave here, with no one getting hurt any more._

_No one dying, no more kills._

_You will leave Keldeo alone for the rest of your life._

_Got it?"_

* * *

_(Keldeo stared with wide eyes)_

Oh my gosh.

You're going to let a psychotic killer loose in the world?

ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FREAKIN' MIND!

This has got to be some kind of joke! I mean, Darkrai, do you really believe that Zalton won't. . I don't know, slit everyone's throat in their sleep? Maybe raze a few villages? I mean, I don't believe that Darkrai would be this stupid. I mean, sure, mercy is fine, but when you're dealing with, oh, I don't know. . ._a psychotic serial killer_, you can't do stuff like this! The last time you showed mercy to him, he ended up breaking out and doing all of this!

That's it, this was a joke. Just a sick joke Darkrai's playing. Either that or her knows that Zalton wouldn't agree to that. It kinda makes me wonder what would happen if Zalton said yes to that!

_Zalton: "Okay!"_

_Darkrai: "Ha! I knew you would- wait what?"_

_Zalton: "Okay. I'll take your mercy."_

_Darkrai: "Um . . .I didn't think you'd say yes. . ."_

_Zalton: "Hehehe! Well, I guess I'm full of sur-"_

_**SCHLIKT!**_

_Darkrai: "Dead."_

But of course, that doesn't happen.

* * *

_"This is bad!" thought Meloetta, despairingly._

_"What's Zalton going to chose?!"_

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

_..._

_"...Decision time." stated Darkrai, after a long time of silence._

* * *

Really? That was a long time of silence? I would have never figured!

_Portal 2 Announcer: "Sarcasm Sphere Self-Test Complete."_

* * *

_"What do you chose?"_

_"..." went Zalton._

_Keldeo growled._

_"Zalton!" barked Darkrai._

_"Make your decision!"_

_"Hehehehehe..." chuckled Zalton, evilly._

_"I chose neither!"_

_Zalton's claws glowed ominously._

_He stares, no, glares deeply, evilly, bitter fully at Keldeo._

_"Now..."_

_Keldeo is extremely pale._

_"...MY DECISION IS FOR KELDEO T-"_

_**SCHLIKT!**_

_Zalton stopped._

_He paled, his claws stopped glowing._

_Keldeo gasped._

_Meloetta drew her breath._

_The Swords of Justice can't look away._

_**...Drip...**_

_**...Drip...**_

_**...Drip...**_

_Zalton looked down._

_A bloody end of a katana is sticking out of his chest, blood slowly dripping from the sword._

* * *

_(Keldeo did a backflip of joy)_

YES! YES! FINALLY IT'S OVER!

* * *

_"...You gave me no choice. Go to hell."_

* * *

THIS is the kind of character you tell to go to Hell!

* * *

_Darkrai retrieved the sword from Zalton's chest._

_The Zoroark stumbled around, shocked about what happened._

* * *

Why the heck are you shocked? Okay Zalton, lets think this through. You tried to kill everyone, Darkrai had a sword at your back, he said he'd kill you if you wouldn't stop murdering people, you tried to murder me, and Darkrai stabbed you. It's not that hard to figure out.

* * *

_Eventually, Zalton's knees buckled, and the Zoroark collapsed onto the ground, blood seeping from him._

* * *

_Munchkins: "Ding, dong, the witch is dead! Which old witch? The wicked witch! Ding, dong, the wicked witch is dead!"_

And know we get some memories of Darkrai clashing with Zalton in the past.

* * *

_Darkrai stared at the fallen Zoroark, remembering the first time the Zoroark appeared to him..._

_(Flashback)_

"_So, who is he hidden himself as?"_

_Coltdeo was about to say, then saw something._

_He grinned._

"_The answer is right there."_

_Darkrai turned._

_A Emboar stood there, a sword in his hands._

_Darkrai's eye widen a bit._

"_So, Edward the Emboar, or should I say, 'Phantom', what are you doing here?"_

"_Grr..." went the Emboar, snarling._

"_So, you've thought me out?_

_How did you guess?"_

"_Edward the Emboar was found dead a couple of days ago." stated Coltdeo._

"_So, if an Emboar turned up here, claiming to be Edward, that would be impossible."_

_One did, you are an imposter._

_The Emboar stared at Coltdeo._

"_Drop the act, Phantom!" barked Darkrai._

"_You're cornered!"_

_The Phantom did nothing._

_He raised his swords, and lunged at Coltdeo._

_**BAM!**_

_Darkrai punched the Emboar, and it went flying._

_The Emboar transformed into a Zoroark, with two scars going down his eyes, whilst catching himself._

_The Zoroark glared at the two, snarling._

_Darkrai raised his hand._

"_Go to sleep! Dar-"_

"_Stop!"_

_Darkrai turned to look at Coltdeo, confused._

"_What?!"_

* * *

Now you're making my father look stupid! Couldn't they have had their conversation after they catch him! It's like if a Soldier and a Heavy stop to eat a Sandvich in the middle of chasing a Spy! You just don't do that!

Well anyway, it turns out that Zalton is actually a very well known Zoroark political figure. . .

Really. . .politics?

* * *

_Zebadiah Dalton is said to be quiet and kind._

_To think he is the Phantom..."_

"_SHUT IT!" roared Zebadiah Dalton, pointing at Coltdeo. "My name isn't Zebadiah! It's Zalton!"_

_Darkrai narrowed his eyes at the Zoroark._

"_'Zalton'?"_

"_Yes, it is, you prick! A combination of 'Zebadiah' and 'Dalton'!"_

_Coltdeo frowned._

"_It's actually ironic, considering your first name, Zalton."_

"_Eh?"_

"_'Zebadiah' is Hebrew for 'Endowed by God'._

* * *

Wow. . .that's kinda sad.

So it turned out that Darkrai, Coltdeo, and Maredeo all kicked Zalton's behind, allowing Darkrai to take him to jail.

* * *

_Darkrai stared at the tied up Zoroark._

"_It's a uneasy feeling..." he started. "But, something is telling me that this may not be the last time we have heard from the Phantom..."_

* * *

Ya got that right.

So back in the present, I have a question for Darkrai.

* * *

_Once back on his hooves, Keldeo stared at the nightmare Pokemon._

_"Please tell me, about that promise with my father."_

_Darkrai's gaze becomes harder, as he is thinking of something._

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

* * *

Oh, sweet buttery biscuits! These long pauses are horrible!

* * *

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

_"Sure." he shrugged._

* * *

Wow. . .it took you that long to say one word?

* * *

_He looked over to the Swords, and Meloetta, who are all looking quizzically._

_"I think first we'll free them, and help Meloetta..."_

_"Agreed."_

_So, Darkrai went to free the Swords from the chains, whilst Meloetta gets check-up upon by Keldeo._

* * *

About time! Seriously, the image of the Swords of Justice all chained up was slowly being imbedded into my retinas and my brain!

So, apparently I got so mad during the fight that I scared Meloetta, so I comfort and apologize to her. I guess that's kinda sweet. And even though I still say I was clearly in the right, I guess I did kinda get out of character, what with my rage and hatred flaring up. That's not what I'm like. I'm always positive!

* * *

_Meloetta sighed._

_"I'm guess you're forgiven..."_

_Keldeo smiled, happy that Meloetta has forgive him._

_"...on one condition."_

_Keldeo's face fell._

_"Eh?"_

_Meloetta gave him a serious look._

_"Don't ever swear again."_

_Keldeo smiled._

_"I swore, didn't I?"_

_"Yes."_

_"Well, I raged, didn't I?"_

_"You could said something else..."_

_"Well, I think I'll look stupid if it said 'Biscuiting' at Zalton."_

_"Fair point."_

* * *

Actually, I think that would've made him die laughing! Really, I should've tried that. . .

* * *

_"I think I might of laughed his head off at that..." murmured Terrakion, slightly sarcastic, whilst being freed._

* * *

See! Even Terrakion agrees with me!

So, Darkrai decides to tell everyone the whole story. As you probably guess, Zalton pulled a Tai Lung and broke out of prison, wanting revenge on the Pokemon who defeated him.

* * *

_"Zalton turned up, as planned._

_He was aiming for Coltdeo and Maredeo, to start his revenge._

_I don't know why, but when I confronted him, he told me he wanted to kill the whole species of Keldeos._

_Then, he'll kill me._

_I confronted him in a opening in the woods, somewhere around here._

_We...had a argument, where I tried to stop Zalton to kill everyone, that revenge isn't worth it._

_He didn't listen._

_We then had a massive fight, attacking each other furiously."_

_Keldeo stared calmly._

_"And that's where the fire started?"_

_Darkrai shrugged._

_"Not exactly."_

_He sighed._

_"We were battling, when I started to shoot a Flamethrower at Zalton._

_Turns out, that Zalton was an illusion, and the real Zalton attacked my Flamethrower-shooting arm._

_My arm jerked, Zalton knocked me, causing me to turn round._

_Behind me, was a couple of trees._

_The flamethrower set the trees alight."_

_Darkrai sighed again._

_"The trees set other trees alight, and set off a chain reaction. Soon after, before anyone could know, the whole Moor was on fire."_

_Darkrai looked away, a look of guilt and sadness on his face._

_"...And that is how the Great Fire of Iccirus was started..."_

* * *

And that's why you don't use Fire-type attacks in a forest! Okay, I know it was an accident, but Darkrai should've thought things through! How about Dark Pulse? How about Dark Void! That would've put Zalton to sleep! Did you ever think of that Darkrai?

So, we get a flashback of Darkrai not being able to stop Zalton's evil plan of revenge.

* * *

_Where the scream came from was Keldeo's mother, screaming in pain from being stabbed._

_Blood coming out._

_Coltdeo, barely alive, bleeding out from multiply stab wounds._

_And Zalton standing above an unconscious Keldeo, preparing to stab him with the sword._

_Darkrai jumped out of the shadows, anger beyond belief. _

"_ZALTON!" roared Darkrai, pure fury admitting from him._

"_STOP!"_

_Zalton turned and glared at Darkrai._

"_NO! I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!"_

_Darkrai stared at Zalton, filled with hatred._

"_Zalton, stop!" he demanded._

"_Even before today, too many innocents have died._

_The one before you is innocent as well._

_Please, stop this. Already too much blood has been spilt today._

_I don't want any more Pokemon to die._

_Please, just stop!"_

_Zalton's eyes narrowed, his grip loosing on the sword._

_He turned his body to face Darkrai, with a serious look on his face._

_Zalton stared._

"_Many Pokemon die everyday due to conflict, hatred, and war._

_I'm just one of the killers. I'm..."_

* * *

Oh gosh, not even Malefor talked this much!

* * *

"_Next time we'll meet, Darkrai, both you and the horse dies."_

_Zalton unleashed a Night Daze, giving him a chance to disappear._

* * *

What? No mocking note this time?

* * *

_Darkrai's attention turned to the young unconscious Keldeo._

_'This Pokemon here..." he thought. "...is innocent. I have caused him to feel a life of loneliness through my actions._

_He may be the last Keldeo in existence..."_

…

…

…

…

_The sound of burning wood is in the air, that's all Darkrai can hear._

…

…

…

…

…

…

* * *

Oh, you gotta be kidding me, two dramatic pauses in a row! Does the author have some kind of weird fetish with them?

* * *

"_D-d-darkrai..."_

_Darkrai slowly turned to look at Coltdeo,struggling to move._

"_...Coltdeo...!" went Darkrai, surprised._

* * *

_(Keldeo is sobbing hard into a hankerchief, and blows his nose hard)_

This scene. . .the things he says. . .I'm gonna skip to the end. . .if you wanna cry, read it yourself.

* * *

_Coltdeo looked up at Darkrai._

"_Would...you promise me something?"_

"_How can I keep a promise when I didn't fulfil this one?"_

"_...When I first met you,...I could tell...you are a Pokemon of honour..._

_A Pokemon to keep promises to the...bitter end..._

_And will hate themselves for not keeping them..._

_I trust you..."_

_Darkrai said nothing._

"_I...want...you to protect my son, from Zalton..._

_...Find a proper guardian... or guardians for him, so he'll be safe..._

_...Watch...over him, to make sure he's never...in proper danger..._

_...And when the time comes..._

_...When Zalton returns to kill..._

_...Protect Keldeo with you life..."_

_***COUGH* *COUGH* *COUGH***_

"_Got that...?"_

_Darkrai stared into a burning tree, nearby, that's fallen over._

_His heart unsure._

_A hatred for Zalton grew._

"_Ok, then."_

* * *

And so, that is the sad story of Darkrai's promise, and the Great Fire of the Moor of Icirrus. . .

_(Keldeo blew his nose another time and discarded the soiled handkerchief)_

Now. . .you'd think we'd get a flashback of Darkrai fighting Zalton and freezing him, but nope! Darkrai just mentions it in passing as if it isn't important.

* * *

_Darkrai stared at the group, before continuing._

_"...I took Keldeo to a safe place, away from the fire._

_When it finally went out, I took him back, and placed him down somewhere._

_I went to see what I could salvaged from the ashes, to see if there was any else who lived._

_When I returned, Keldeo was gone._

* * *

Wait! So you just left me all alone?

* * *

_I searched desperately, in case of Zalton had returned."_

_Darkrai looked at Keldeo._

_"I couldn't find you._

_I was so filled with rage, I went to find Zalton, to kill him._

_When I did, he said he had no idea what I was talking about._

_In my rage, I froze him._

* * *

How does that make any sense? You came to kill him, and you got so mad that your froze him? Usually rage makes you do something worse. How is cryogenically freezing someone in a block of ice worse than killing them? What, did he see Darth Vader freezing Hitler in carbonite before going after Zalton?

* * *

_I took the frozen Zoroark into the Hall's Cold Room, and created that frozen structure, a prison to keep Zalton in, to prevent any harm._

* * *

_"And I didn't tell anyone about it so that it would be left unguarded when he broke out later on."  
_

* * *

_For a while, I never knew what happened to you._

_I was quiet surprised when the Swords turned up at the Hall, with you."_

* * *

_Darkrai sighed._

_"I want to say it, but..."_

_"Kelde..." started Meloetta, causing the Colt Pokemon to look at her._

_"What is it?"_

_"I think Darkrai can't really say it._

_He's filled with the guilt of the pain he caused you._

_With all the pain you suffered, and the emotion warfare that went under is all his fault._

_He wasn't able to save your parents, and you almost died when Zalton tried to kill you._

_What I think that Darkrai wants to say is:_

_'I'm sorry for all that has happened.'"_

_Keldeo turned his attention to Darkrai, as with everyone else._

_"Is this true?"_

_Darkrai did nothing._

_And, then..._

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

* * *

_(Keldeo clenched his teeth)_

Dot-dot-dot!

* * *

_Darkrai's eyes began to do something._

_Tears appearing around his eyes._

_He nodded._

_From all of this, Keldeo cannot describe how he feels about this._

_Too much sadness, hatred, bitterness and such._

_But, he can know something._

_Keldeo looked up, with a hard, cold, emotionless stare._

_He looked at Darkrai, who shifted one of his eyes onto Keldeo._

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

* * *

_(Keldeo still looks angry)_

Dot. . .Dot. . .Dot!

* * *

_"My mother told me something when I was younger." started Keldeo, coolly, taking everyone by surprise._

_"Eh?" said Terrakion, confused._

_"It was after another member of my race accidentally hit me in the head. I refused to forgive him."_

_"Hmm..." went Cobalion._

_"She said: 'It takes a strong Pokemon to say sorry, to admit they are wrong, or they did wrong._

_But it takes a stronger Pokemon to accept the apology, to forgive of what they done.'_

_Something around that."_

_Meloetta looked at Keldeo, smiling._

_"This is the Kelde I know and love..."_

_"What I'm trying to say, is..." started Keldeo._

_"You said you're sorry._

_I forgive you."_

_Darkrai looked at the Swords, then to Keldeo._

_"Thank you."_

_Keldeo smiled._

_"A dark chapter has finally closed on your life." remarked Virizion._

_"You found out the truth._

_Now it's time to move on."_

* * *

_(Keldeo sighed and sat down)_

Wow. . .what a wild ride this story was. . .amazing. It was rough, but I liked this ending. It had good morals of forgiveness, revenge, justice, promises, honor, sacrifice, and was just an action packed NIGHTMARE! I'm soooo glad it's over-

* * *

_Everyone got up, but then Meloetta noticed something._

_She paled, eyes widening._

_"Meloetta?" asked Keldeo, concerned._

_"Guys..." she said, pointing._

_"Where's Zalton?!"_

_Everyone looked over to where Zalton laid._

_His body is missing, along with the sword that Darkrai planted into the ground._

* * *

_(Keldeo gave a look of utter disbelief)_

OH NO! YOU DIDN'T?

* * *

_"...!" went Darkrai._

_"I'm sure he..."_

_"Grr..." growled Keldeo._

_"Where is he?!"_

_"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" laughed a voice, evilly._

_"IT'S NOT OVER YET!"_

* * *

HE'S STILL ALIVE!? WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU! HE WAS STABBED BY A SWORD!

What are you saying? That you can get stabbed by a sword and live?

_Grimes: "Extremely high voltage? Well, I don't need safety gloves 'cause I'm Homer Simp-_ (zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz)"

This guy must have a Horcrux or something! Let's be serious here! _Ganondorf _couldn't survive being stabbed in the chest, so how does this guy survive?

Why are you dragging the horror out so long?!

Well, at least the Swords of Justice are free so they can attack and get this over with fast. However, Zalton just uses this as an excuse to play a game of musical murder victims.

* * *

_"Well, well, well..." went Zalton, somewhere in the Moor._

_"Where should I start picking you off by?"_

_A breeze went past Cobalion..._

_"Cobalion, who's iron will I'll shatter...?"_

_...past Terrakion..._

_"Terrakion, which I'll make his cave collapse on him...?"_

_...by Virizion..._

_"Virizion, who's meadow I'll burn...?"_

_...through Keldeo..._

_"Little Keldeo, who's Resolution I'll snap...?"_

_...stop at Darkrai, then continued..._

_"Darkrai, who I'll give nightmares forever...!"_

_...finally, the breeze stopped at Meloetta._

_"Aha!"_

_Zalton appeared in front of Meloetta, grinning psychotically._

_"I chose you, Meloetta!"_

_Zalton aimed the sword at Meloetta's chest._

_"I took the first things that were precious in Keldeo's life, his parents!_

_Now, that has shifted onto you, Melly!"_

_Zalton went to stab Meloetta._

_"NOW DIE!"_

_"MELOETTA!" roared Keldeo, panicking._

_"NO!"_

_Everything is slowing down for Keldeo, as Zalton went to kill Meloetta._

_There's nothing he can do to save her._

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

* * *

_Sweetie Belle: "Oh, come on!"_

* * *

_…_

_…_

_…_

_**SCHLIKT!**_

_**...Drip...**_

_**...Drip...**_

_**...Drip...**_

_Meloetta fell backwards, in shock._

_Darkrai is in front of her, sword going right through him._

_"..." went Darkrai, his blood dripping off the sword._

_Keldeo's eyes widened._

_"DARKRAI!"_

* * *

Aw don't worry! In this world, you can get stabbed by a sword and live. It's nothing.

* * *

_Zalton growled,weakly._

_"How...dare you...?"_

_Darkrai glared at Zalton._

_"You were suppose to die and go to hell." he said seriously, despite a sword going through his body._

_"I've... returned from the depths of hell...to exact my...vengeance..." huffed Zalton._

_"I see. . ."_

_"It's time for you to go back to hell." stated Darkrai weakly._

_"N-no!" yelled Zalton._

_"I don't want to die!"_

_"..."_

_"Please, have mercy!"_

_"Funny that you should say that._

_I'm going to show you want you did to your victims."_

_"W-what's that?"_

_"No mercy."_

_Darkrai quickly moved towards Zalton, though painful, attacked the Zoroark._

_Darkrai used X-Scissors, and hit Zalton extremely hard in the head._

_The result was the attack was so damaging to Zalton, it killed him quickly._

_The body of the Zoroark fell back, hit the ground, and became still._

_Zalton, the Phantom of Unova, a being of evil and fear, is now dead._

* * *

_(Keldeo is not convinced)_

Oh, so _now _he's dead! Yeah, right, I'm not buying it. Unless you burn his body and scatter it around the entire globe, I am not gonna believe he's really dead. I mean, he gets stabbed in the chest by a sword and survives, but he gets hit in the head by an X-Scissor and dies? You could have at least have him get blown up by a Hyper Beam or Dark Pulse or something. Anything would be better than this? I mean, getting killed by a Bug-type movie? How pathetic is that?

Okay, I'd understand if his head was blown of by the X-Scissor, but the fact that the X-Scissor hit his head and he dies is just ridiculous. It's kinda anticlimactic. Again, let me bring up Ganondorf, and how Link has to use this awesome finishing blow. Why couldn't we get something like that?

Well, since this world makes no sense; Darkrai, the Legendary Pokemon of nightmares and darkness, ends up dying from the sword that couldn't kill Zalton.

* * *

_"You and...Meloetta...have such...a bright...future...together..._

_A...future...so...bright...it's blinding..._

_Everyone...who's...your...friend...will...have...a ...bright...future..."_

_Meloetta slammed his hand._

_"But, after what's all happened, you're Keldeo's friend now!"_

_"False..._

_I'm...only a protector..._

_I...kept...my promise..."_

_Darkrai looked at the two, then to Cobalion, then back to them._

_"I'm...going...now..."_

_"Huh...?" asked Darkrai._

_"I'm...dying..."_

_"WHAT?!" screamed Meloetta._

_"You can't die! You have so much to live for!"_

_Darkrai's aura began to glow._

_"It's...started..."_

_Keldeo turned to Cobalion._

_"Master Cobalion! What's happening?!"_

_Cobalion looked sadly at Darkrai._

_"There's nothing you can do now._

_Disappearance has started."_

_Meloetta turned to Cobalion._

_"What's 'Disappearance'?"_

_"It happens when a legend begins to die." stated Cobalion._

_"A legendary's body is filled with information, that can be used for bad purpose._

_Everything they know, moves and things like that are stored in the body._

_If in the wrong hands, it could be disastrous._

_Arceus made that when a legendary dies, their body fades from existence._

_Only one legend has done it before._

_That is Latios."_

* * *

Wow. . .that's actually a very interesting idea. . .I have to hand it to DragonNiro, that was really creative and well thought out. It's a lot better than, I don't know, turning into flower petals!

_Master Oogway: "Believe. . ."_

* * *

_Tears ran down Keldeo's face._

_He doesn't want to say goodbye, but he has to._

_He must be tough!_

_Keldeo wiped his tears off._

_"...Thank you for everything, Darkrai." he affirmed._

_"*HIC* Kelde..." smiled Meloetta, through her tears._

_Darkrai's aura grew brighter._

_"I'm...so glad...you...forgive me..."_

_"Darkrai." stated Keldeo., tears forming again._

_"Although what's happened, I want to meet again."_

_"...Huh...?"_

_"When I die, I want us to meet again in a different life, where past things are forgotten."_

_Keldeo sighed._

_"What I'm trying to say is..."_

_Keldeo broke into a big grin._

_"Let's be friends in the next life."_

_Darkrai smiled._

_"I'll...like that..."_

_Meloetta grinned._

_"We'll be happy in the next life! Just wait and see!"_

_Cobalion stepped forward._

_"I didn't expect myself to say this, but..._

_I hope we will meet again in a happier way."_

_Darkrai's eyes darted between the three, at the light grew even harder._

_The light turned Darkrai in a yellow ball._

_That yellow ball floated there._

_"...even if the parting hurts...keep moving forward..."_

_The ball began, slowly, to raise up into the air._

_Meloetta sobbed loads._

_Cobalion stared, with a small smile._

_And Keldeo?_

_He smiled sadly with tears in his eyes._

_They watched as the ball headed up into the sky, and disappear as it headed up high._

_"A dark chapter in Unova's history has come to a close..." said Keldeo, with tears slowly streaming._

_"It's time to moved forward."_

* * *

And so, Zalton's body is burned, YES! THANK YOU! Zoroark and Zorua stay in the Hall of Origin to heal, and we end with everyone paying their respects to the graves of Maredeo, Coltdeo, and Darkrai; and, of course, a kiss between me and Meloetta.

* * *

_Keldeo felt something soft against his cheek._

_It is Meloetta kissing him, cutely._

_He blushed, very deeply._

_"Hey, Meema...?"_

_"What is it, dear?"_

_"What are they doing?"_

_"..."_

_"...Meema...?"_

_"I'll explain later..."_

* * *

Alright, credit where it's due. The expression on Zoroark's face was really funny.

* * *

_Meloetta stopped kissing Keldeo and smiled cutely at Keldeo, who's blushing deeply._

_"Let's go!"_

_Meloetta began to run off, out of the Moor._

_Zoura, being the playful child he is, chases after Meloetta, excited._

_"Yay! A race!"_

_Zoroark smirks, and runs away as well._

_"I'll catch you, dear!"_

_Keldeo stood there, surprised._

_He composed himself by saying "Wait, what?!"_

_He began to run, then stops._

_He turns round to look at the graves._

_Keldeo smiles._

_He turned back round, and began to run._

_"Wait up for me!"_

* * *

Well, there's only one way for a story like this to end.

* * *

_The wind blows, and the trees move in the breeze._

_"Heh..._

_What do you think, honey?"_

_Maredeo and Coltdeo are sat near their graves, watching Keldeo leave._

_Maredeo had asked the question._

_"Hmm..." went Coltdeo, scrunching his face up in thought._

_He smirked, as he finished._

_"He'll be alright._

_He's lasted this long without us. He'll continue just fine."_

_Maredeo nodded._

_She turned opposite, to the other grave._

_"What do you think, Darkrai?"_

_Darkrai is sat upon his grave, deep in thought, hand on chin._

_"Tch..." he murmured._

_"Keldeo is a strong Pokemon, and so is Meloetta._

_Divided they are weak, but together they are strong._

_They, along with everyone else, have their own destiny, have their own fate and their own dreams._

_As long as they have these unstoppable ideals in their hearts, and spread them towards others with the freedom of the world that they found, these things shall never vanish from the earth."_

_Darkrai smiled softly._

_"As long as they support each other, and love each other, they'll be fine."_

_Coltdeo grinned confidently, whilst Maredeo smiled._

_"Yeah..."_

_The three look out into the Moor._

_Another breeze follows, and they disappeared if they weren't there at all._

_However, a sentence followed after they disappeared._

_"...they just got to keep moving forward."_

* * *

The ghosts giving their opinions and blessings. Check.

* * *

_"Around here, however, we don't look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things… and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths."_

**Walt Disney**

* * *

A thought provoking quote from a famous person. Check.

* * *

_DragonNiro finishes up the last chapter, 'Thank you for everything'._

_He closes down his laptop, and puts the screen down._

_He pauses, then smiles._

* * *

And a little something from the author. Check.

_Bzzzzzzt!_

_(Meowth appeared looking frustrated)_

_"No fair! Dialga told me you were gonna die! Isn't there a car with bright headlights with you to stare at so you can get squashed into road kill!"_

_Bzzzzzzzt!_

Get out of here, Meowth!

_Bzzzzzzt!_

_"Aiye, Aiye, yie yie! He ripped us off big time."_

_Bzzzzzzt!_

I said get out of here!

_Bzzzzzzt!_

_"Nonsense! If Dialga tells me a pony is gonna die, I expect a pony to die! Couldn't Zalton have poisoned you or something? But no, he's probably too busy acting out scenes of _The Dark Knight _in the Ghost World!"_

_Bzzzzzzzzt!_

Get out of here, you stupid cat!

But thank goodness! The horror movie is over!

You remember how Tom Riddle's Diary created so much terror in _Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets? _Well, this USB drive has that beat by a country mile!

I feel bad, because this story was wonderfully written, with great characterization, and filled awesome action. Sure, it used _way_ too many blank dot spaces, but that's just a nitpick. This finale was the most epic thing imaginable. It did surprise me at some points, and I wanted to see Darkrai and I come together and unite in friendship in the face of this psychotic foe.

But to _animate_ something like this!? In _CGI_? It is bloody and scary! Scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary scary!

I feel mentally scarred! I mean, sure, I can destroy this USB drive all I want, but it will never get rid of the images that it has planted in my brain! The images of Zoroark getting her arm slowly broken, Meloetta being slammed against trees and being reduced to a bloody mess, and my parents being stabbed and filled with bloody wounds will haunt me forever! You can get away with stuff like this in literature. Look at _Redwall! _But seeing it on a screen is a whole other matter. Nobody should ever have to see the terrifying...terror that this movie produced!

_(Keldeo took the USB drive out)_

And they're not going to if I have anything to say about it!

* * *

Keldeo spat the USB drive onto the ground and said, "By the Power and Honor of the Swords of Justice, I. . .blow you up with a Focus Blast!"

Keldeo fired a Focus Blast out of his mouth and at the USB drive. There was a small blast, and where the USB was there was now a crater. Keldeo laughed triumphantly and turned around.

The USB drive was back in the laptop.

Keldeo's eyes widen in terror as clips of the movie appear on the screen. More specifically, the scenes of Zalton harming Zoroark, Zorua, and Meloetta.

"Oh my gosh! It's playing again! It's going over and over and over!" Keldeo gasped as he shakily stepped back from the laptop. "Oh my gosh! Can't somebody stop it? Can't somebody stop it!?"

"Stand back, Critic!"

Keldeo turned to see a familiar Lucario in a Santa hat approaching. "Santa Paws!" Keldeo cheered.

"I told you I'd come back when you were through with it!" Santa Paws said as he walked towards the laptop. "I'll handle this!" he said as he used Bone Rush and held the long green bone of energy in his paws. "You shall not play!" he said.

An explosion burst out of the ground.

"I am a Christian. Follower and believer of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. CGI shall not avail you, Film of Zalton!" Another explosion erupted in front of him, but he waved it away with his Bone Rush. "Go back to the Ghost World!" A huge explosion erupted, but Santa Paws raised his Bone rush and shouted, "YOU! SHALL NOT! PLAY!"

Santa Paws swung his Bone Rush down with all his might. There was a huge flash of green light that blinded Keldeo. There was a moment of eerie silence. Keldeo slowly opened his eyes and waited for his eyesight to come back. He blinked and saw Santa Paws standing in front of the laptop, which now appeared to be off.

Keldeo gulped and said, "Uh. . .did you beat it?"

Santa Paws closed his eyes in thought for a bit, then he frowned and said, "I think all I did was turn it off."

Keldeo sweat dropped as his right eye twitched.

Santa Paws smiled nervously and handed Keldeo a small plastic container filled with something orange and chunky.

"Here, have some Pumpkin guacamole. . ."

_**KABOOM!**_

Keldeo and Santa Paws both screamed in horror as a huge burst of dark purple energy erupted in front of them. Out of the explosion stepped Zalton himself.

Zalton laughed evilly as he bent down and plucked the USB out of the computer. He smiled at it and said, "Ah, yup. Another typical viewing."

He then turned to Keldeo and Santa Paws and said, "And now with this movie, I will train my evil spirit to gather souls from all over this world! AND I WILL MAKE MY PERMANENT RETURN!"

Zalton held the USB high and laughed manically.

_"Nooooooooooooooo!" _Keldeo and Santa Paws shouted in terror.

"AHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHA!"

"I'll take that!"

Suddenly a large, round figure swooped in and snatched the USB out of Zalton's claws.

"WHAT!?" Zalton shouted as he turned to look at the interloper.

"Dusknoir?" Keldeo asked.

Dusknoir nodded as he tossed the USB drive up and down in his hands. "After sealing the Ghost Girl of Summit Ruins in the Ghost World, I knew someone would try to take control of her and send her back out." Dusknoir tapped the yellow antenna on his head, "Since I have the power to receive transmission from the Ghost World, I was able to tune into it and overhear Zalton's evil plan. It turns out he created this animation to not only bend her to his will, but also to have a practical and easy to carry Horcrux."

Zalton's eyes widened, "That's not true! That's simply not true! That's not a Horcu-."

"Good thing I eat Horcruxes for breakfast!" Dusknoir said. The large mouth on his stomach opened, and he popped the USB drive into it.

Zalton's face was the picture of fear and panic. "N-NO! NO! AUUUUGGGHHHHH!" Zalton was suddenly turned to ashes and was sucked into a portal to the Ghost World that quickly closed after him.

Dusknoir chuckled, "Hm-hm-hm. Fool. Well, speaking of the Ghost World, I better be getting back to it. I need restore order."

Keldeo ran up to Dusknoir and said, "Wait, wait. Um... I know it's not my place or anything, but uh, could I throw in a suggestion punishment?"

Dusknoir sighed, "Sure... What?"

Keldeo whispered something into Dusknoir's ear.

Dusknoir chuckled and said, "Hm-hm! Not bad! That should teach him."

Dusknoir gave Santa Paws a wave and said, "Fare the well, strange Aura Guardian." And with that, he disappeared.

Santa Paws blinked, and he looked towards Keldeo. "What did you say to him?"

Keldeo smiled, "I just said that Zalton should Meet the Sandvich!"

"What?" Santa Paws replied.

"Nevermind," Keldeo said quickly.

Santa Paws shrugged. "Well then, maybe I'll see you sometime around Christmas?"

"Probably," Keldeo said, "Give my best to Ryan!"

Santa Paws smiled and winked, "Sure will! Oh-ho-ho-ho!" And with that, Santa Paws merrily walked off as Roxie's band, _Koffing and the Toxics, _played Santa Paws' theme song.

**_Santa Paws! Santa Paws! We all love Santa Paws!_**

After Santa Paws left, Keldeo smiled and said, "Well with that out of the way, now we can enjoy DragonNiro's epic finale for what it is. An epic tale of good versus evil filled with sacrifice, passion, and revenge. There were dark truths and secrets, and it ended with forgiveness and friendship, although a little bittersweet. Good characters, good themes, AMAZING BATTLES! Feel proud of yourself, DragonNiro. Feel very proud. I'll be looking forward to whatever Pokemon fanfic you have planned next!"

"I'm Keldeo the Critic and I-"

_"Don't do it pal! Do not do it! Are you listening, just- OH GOSH! OH MY GOSH! OH MY GOSH! OH MY GO-!"_

_WHAM! THUD! KER-SPLAT!_

_"Ah-haha-ha-ha!"_

_"M-my blood! He- he punched out ALL my blood!"_

_RIIIIIIIP!_

_"Pain! Pain! Pain! Pain! Pain! Pain- HEY! Give me back my leg bone!"_

_Thud!_

_" Hey! Hey, don't hit me with it!"_

_Thud! Thud!_

_"Ya know what? You do not frighten me! Pain does not hurt!" _

___CRRACK!_

_"I stand corrected! Arrrrggghhgh! Wait a minute! You cannot hurt me, I do not have __time_ to bleed!"

_WHAM-CRRRRRASH!_

_"My schedule has just opened up! Aaaohhww, my GOSH! L-l-look. Listen to me! I have a stash of money from my clients from the Unova Civil War in my hideout! I will pay you all of my money to stop!"_

_"NO!"_

_THWACK!_

_"Ow, ow ow ow ow! Ouch, ouch! Ahhh..."_

_CRACK!_

_"HA! You call that breaking my spine? You obese looking Gripper Pokemon wouldn't know how to break a spine if-"_

_CRRRRRAAAACK-SNAP!_

_"**AUGHHH!** MY SPINE! Now I am ordering you to kill me! Please please please, Kill me!. . .wait a minute. . .I'M ALREADY DEAD! I'M ALREDY DEAAAD! I regret _everything_! I regret everything I've ever done!"_

_SNAP!_

_**"AAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!"**_

Keldeo let a sly grin creep up on his face.

"-remember what others would like to forget. . ." Keldeo finished as he happily walked off to see if Meloetta was up for a date tonight.

* * *

**THE END**

Performed by Keldeo of the Swords of Justice

_Seriously, I thought it was an awesome story. Zalton could really get pretty violent, but it wasn't too bad. It hit Keldeo harder cause he was watching it and was close to those being injured. Nevertheless, DragonNiro did an amazing job._

**_Credits_**

_DP090- Ghoul Daze!_

_BW026- Scare at the Litwick Mansion!_

_M13- Zoroark: Master of Illusions_

_Nintendo 2DS_

_Travel Adventures with Hello Kitty_

_Turbo: Super Stunt Squad_

_Phineas and Ferb: Quest for Cool Stuff_

_Regular Show: Mordecai & Rigby in 8-Bit Land_

_And Animal Crossing: New Leaf_

_Smile HD _by Mister Davie

_Dragon Ball Z_

_Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog_

_Mega Man_

_Portal 2_

_Half-Life 2_

_Ice Age_

_Bum Reviews- Rango_

_Bum Reviews- The Wolfman_

_Nostalgia Critic- Son of the Mask_

_Nostalgia Critic- The Cat in the Hat_

_Nostalgia Critic- The Shinning Mini-Series_

_Nostalgia Critic- Cop and a Half_

_Nostalgia Critic- Free Willy_

_Pokemon Duels of Destiny Ordeal with Orichalcos _by MewLover54

_The Harry Potter Series _by J K Rowling

_Kung Fu Panda_

_The Dark Knight_

_The Dark Knight Rises_

_The Legend of Zelda- Twilight Princess_

_My Little Pony- Friendship is Magic- Hasbro_

_Spaceballs_

_Samurai Jack_

_Monty Python and the Holy Grail_

_The Simpsons_

_Sonic the Hedgehog_

_Godzilla (1998)_

_Dragon Tales- PBS_

_The Redwall Series _by Brian Jacques

_The Legend of Spyro_

_Team Fortress 2_

_Meet the Sandvich_

_Meet the Demoman_

_Angry Video Game Nerd- Silver Surfer_

_The Nostalgia Chick_

**Special Thanks**

_Santa Paws_ from _An Icy, Cold Christmas _by FictionaryMan3985

_Kyurem the Critic _by Mr. Grool

_TVtropes_

_Bulbapedia_

_Valve_

_Some Call Me Johnny- Mega Man Marathon_

_**The comments expressed in this review are written in such a way so that negative aspects are used to create jokes. There will NOT be any bashing or ranting. Also, good things in a FanFic will be praised. Particularly bad FanFictions WON'T**** be totally thrashed, but expect to see major grievances addressed.**_

_**(This was a parody of the Nostalgia Critic by Doug Walker on That Guy With The Glasses)**_

* * *

"Om, nom, nom, nom. . ."

Dusknoir bit into a Sandvich as he watched over the Ghost World. There were explosions and yelling throughout the realm as Ghost-type Pokemon who were loyal to him all went after Lampent and his Litwick minions.

"Om. Nom, nom, nom. . ."


	10. E2- Why No Shadow Triad in the Anime?

_**The review must go on!**_

Keldeo reared up on his hind legs, his expression serious and his Secret Sword raised and glowing brightly.

**Keldeo the Critic**

**Editorial 2- Why Weren't the Shadow Triad in the Anime?**

It's me! Keldeo The Critic! I review Pokemon FanFiction when I'm not training with the other Swords of Justice!

Okay, so before we go any further, let me make something perfectly clear. The Team Plasam arc is _over._ Ash will never see Team Plasma again. Ghetsis _will not_ be breaking out of prison any time soon. Team Plasma is officially dead in the Anime storyline. Ash is headed back to Kanto, and the Pokemon XY Anime already has trailers on YouTube.

So, with that out of the way, I must ask, why weren't the Shadow Triad in the Anime?

I mean, they were a really important part of Team Plasma in the games, showing up at just the right time to foil the player and rescue Gehtsis. They were the elite guard of Team Plasma, and they just couldn't be stopped. So, why keep in all the other Team Plasma member but leave out three of the most iconic ones?

Now, before you say that they didn't have Zinzolin or the Seven Sages in the Anime either, _don't. _Because when people say that, I get _really _angry.

First of all, Zinzolin and Ghetsis _are _Sages, sow what you mean to say is "Zinzolin and the other _five _Sages."

Second of all, they actually _were_ in the Anime.

In **BW118 : **_**Secrets From Out of the Fog!**, _we get a flashback of N as a child, where Team Plasma is performing a ceremony in their castle involving N and Reshiram. Present at the ceremony are Ghetsis and the six other Sages. So yeah, they're in the Anime.

But now we have another question. If they're in the Anime, where did they go? Where were they during the final showdown at the White Ruins? Well, this is kind of a gruesome headcannon, but hear me out. In the flashback, we see Reshiram burning down the castle, completely destroying it.

Yeah, that's right. My headcannon is that the other six Sages were killed by Reshiram.

It actually makes sense. The writers didn't want too many villain characters, so they had to axe a bunch of them. Black 2 White 2 had already cut out four of the Sages by putting them in jail, and since the Anime didn't have a prequel to take care of that, they decided to use an angry Reshiram to not only cut out those four, but Zinzolin and Rood too. I mean, think about all those times we see Ghetsis giving orders. If the other Sages were alive, shouldn't they have a say in what's going on too? And also, if they were at the ceremony at the castle, you'd think they'd be at the ceremony at the White Ruins too. If it's important enough for Ghetsis to be there, then it's important enough for the other Sages to be there too. So, the only explanation is that they're all dead.

Now, by this logic, you'd assume that I believe that the Shadow Triad died in the fire as well. Well. . . no. I don't think that. I mean, the Shadow Tried can apparently disappear and teleport like ninjas. These guys are _elite._ So, I don't like the idea of them dying in a burning building. It really doesn't make sense that they'd let themselves get killed like that.

So, back to our original question. Why weren't the Shadow Triad in the Anime? Well, the answer is quite simple. The writers didn't know what to do with them. In fact, the game designers didn't know what to do with them! What do I mean? Well, let's take a look at what they do in the games. Of course, this means major spoilers for Black and White 1 and 2, so beware.

In the games, the Shadow Triad were the Diablos Ex Machina. You battle with them, they taunt you and disappear. You beat Ghetsis, they come in a take him away. You battle them on a ship, they _grab you and throw you bodily off the ship._ You beat the game, they just appear in Icirrus City and challenge you every season while spouting nonsense.

What do the Shadow Triad have that would make them suitable for the Anime? These guys are unbeatable. Maybe if the Anime were more hardcore, like if Ash had Pikachu slashing Team Plasma Grunts with Iron Tail, the Shadow Triad could work. But Ash being, well, Ash, the Shadow Triad would not be plausible villains. Sure, lots of anime villains would just battle Ash and then run away, but in that case, why even bother putting in the Shadow Triad if it would just be the same old thing only with different characters?

Here's what their scene would be like: Ash and friends fight Plasma Grunts, Triad appears, mocks them, they disappear. What's the point?

The Shadow Triad, in the Anime, would be nothing but a group of very strong escape artists. As far as I can tell, adding the Triad in would probably end up allowing Ghetsis to escape after the showdown at White Ruins. This would've either made the Team Plasma arc longer, or they could've done what they did in Black 2 White 2 and have Ghetsis go insane in a secret room some where. I'm sure the writers wanted to wrap up the Plasma arc quickly, and they figured that the Shadow Triad would only end up making it too long, unless they wanted everyone to say, "Hey! How come the Shadow Triad didn't teleport away! Why did they let themselves be caught by Officer Jenny!"

As for the going insane route, then there would have to be a scene like in the games where the Shadow Triad come to Ash and tell him what has become of Ghetsis. Now there are a couple reasons why this would be a bad idea as well. First of all, how would Ash cope with the knowledge that he drove a man insane? Sure, Ghetsis was evil, but still, this is Ash we're talking about. Second, where exactly would this scene go? I guess Ash and his friends could defeat them, but then what? They could just disappear like in the games, but in the Anime it doesn't work. The Anime needs to have all its plots resolved nicely to satisfy the audience, otherwise they'll all be complaining about how Ghetsis and the Shadow Triad are still at large, even though they can't really do anything anymore. The alternative is for Ash and the gang to restrain the Triad with their Pokemon until Officer Jenny arrives to take them away, but then you'll get people complaining that they should've been able to easily escape.

Well, now do you see why cutting the Shadow Triad out of the Anime was a smart move? The Shadow Triad open up such a can of worms for the restricted Anime universe that putting them in just isn't worth it. They're overpowered and are unable to receive any just punishment. The Shadow Triad can get away with anything, and that's not the kind of characters the writers want in the Anime. So, in the Anime universe, the Shadow Triad never existed to begin with.

_(Keldeo sighed)_

Oh well, but look on the bright side! Team Flare is coming!

_*chirp*. . . *chirp*. . .*chirp*_

_(Keldeo frowned)_

Okay. . .um. . .how about. . .Jessie's Wobbuffet is coming back in the XY Anime?

_(There was a huge roaring cheer that nearly knocked Keldeo over. Keldeo looked shocked at first, then he smiled and laughed out loud.)_

Well, okay then! That's more like it! I'm Keldeo the Critic and I review Pokemon Fanfiction!

* * *

**THE END**

Performed by Keldeo of the Swords of Justice

**_Credits_**

_Pokemon Black/White_

_Pokemon Black 2/White 2_

**Special Thanks**

_Bulbapedia_

_**The comments expressed in this review are written in such a way so that negative aspects are used to create jokes. There will NOT be any bashing or ranting. Also, good things in a FanFic will be praised. Particularly bad FanFictions WON'T**** be totally thrashed, but expect to see major grievances addressed.**_

_**(This was a parody of the Nostalgia Critic by Doug Walker on That Guy With The Glasses)**_

* * *

"Wobbuffet!"


	11. PikaBun's Oneshot Wonders: FrightNight

The moon shone brightly over the Moor of Icirrus as it was dominated by peaceful silence. However, this night was anything _but_ peaceful as Terrakion ran as fast as he could through the forest. Tearing through grass and splashing through water, the Sword of Justice was fleeing for his life, desperately trying to escape his pursuer.

Terrakion tore through a bush and nearly bumped into Coballion and Virizion who were fencing with their Sacred Swords. They were surprised by Terrakion's dramatic entrance, and their Swords slipped past each other, causing their owners to fall onto their sides.

"Don't just lie there! Get up! Now!" Terrakion shouted urgently.

"Will you calm down, and explain yourself!" Coballion said as he got to his hooves.

"There's no time to explain! An evil force is approaching! We must flee!" Terrakion shouted.

"What evil force?" Virizion asked.

_SLASH!_

A nearby tree was sliced through at its trunk, and it fell right towards the Swords of Justice.

"GET DOWN!" Terrakion shouted dramatically as everyone jumped out of the way. The tree hit the ground with an enormous crash.

_CRAAAASH!_

The Swords of Justice didn't even have a change to think before dark and evil laughter echoed throughout the Moor.

_"Hm-hm-hm-hm-hmmmmm. . ."_

From behind the chopped-down tree stepped a dark kirin, with a red curved horn and a black coat. He wore silver armor, and a furred robe of a king trailed behind him. A mane of dark black hair blew in the wind as he smiled an evil smile. The black kirin laughed darkly to himself as he reared onto his hind legs and shouted.

_"Behold! You're new master! Behold! King Sombra!"_

The ground cracked beneath his hooves as his front legs slammed onto the ground hard. Terrakion backed off in fear as he gave a side glance at Virizion and Coballion. Virizion looked slightly fearful, but Coballion kept a straight face.

King Sombra locked eyes with Coballion and snarled at him. Coballion responded by turning to Terrakion and saying, "Alright, Terrakion. You two can cut the act now."

Terrakion blinked, "Uh, what? I mean, but-."

Coballion turned to King Sombra and said, "Keldeo, you look like someone's OC Villain Stu."

Keldeo smiled sheepishly through the greasepaint. "Heh-heh. But I _did _scare ya, right?

* * *

_SLASH-BOOOOOM!_

The wall was blown apart by Keldeo's Focus Blast.

_**The review must go on!**_

Keldeo activated his Secret Sword and swung it.

Keldeo sprayed water from his hooves, putting out the forest fire around him.

Keldeo slid across the icy ground and gave Kyurem a kick in the face.

_**The review must go on!**_

Keldeo growled angrily at Ash, but then ran and put his head under a water fountain to cool off.

_**That's the theme of this song!**_

_**Although the waits may be long,**_

Keldeo cried out as Honchkrow hit him with Perish Song.

Keldeo and Ryan the Reviewer fought on a cliff top, Secret Sword and Bone Rush clashing over and over.

Keldeo and Ash gobbled down food, but then started to choke and began moving their head in an attempt to swallow.

**_I am a Swords of Justice. . ._**

Keldeo ran through memories of him with Terrakion, Virizion, and Coballion, and jumped, turning into his Resolute Form in mid air with a flash of light.

_**The review must go on!**_

Keldeo reared up on his hind legs, his expression serious and his Secret Sword raised and glowing brightly.

**Keldeo the Critic**

******"****Pika and Bun's One-shot Wonders- Fright Night" by ravengal**

_(Keldeo is still wearing his King Sombra costume, and is clearly loving it.)_

Mwah-ha-ha-ha-haaaa! It's me! Keldeo The Critic! I review Pokemon FanFiction when I'm not training with the other Swords of Justice! Mwah-ha-haaa! Happy Halloween!

As you can see, I've decided to join in on the scary fun of this day. Sure, it may have been based on certain. . .dark traditions, and may have some negative things about it even today, but if people can celebrate it nicely and use it for fun instead of evil, then it's be alright. There's nothing evil about dressing up in costumes and eating candy in moderation. If people do bad things on Halloween, then _they're _the ones who are at fault.

Well, anyway, we could talk about the history of Halloween and how I was _born_ to play the role of King Sombra all night, but how about we review a special Halloween Fanfic instead! Namely, _Fright Night _by ravengal.

* * *

_**Pika and Bun's One-shot Wonders**_

_Author: ravengal _

___A collection of one-shots about the adorable escapades of Ash's Pikachu and Dawn's Buneary. Some have humour, some have angst, some have suspense, but all have romance. Lagomorphshipping._

* * *

This story is actually a One-shot in a whole collection of Lagomorphsipping stories. All of them are good, and I'm sure this one will be no exception. And after that Zalton incident, I'm pretty sure nothing's gonna scare me in this! So, let's all hope we didn't get a rock, ring ravengal's doorbell, and unwrap _Fright Night._

* * *

_**Fright Night**_

_After a while of travelling, Ash, Dawn, Brock and Pikachu had come across an unusual sight. Directly in front of them was a festival, complete with stalls manned by Pokemon, jack-o-lanterns hanging from wires that trailed between trees and other various Pokemon buying food and playing games at the stalls. There were no humans anywhere to be found and a banner across the entrance read 'Pokemon Halloween Festival! No humans allowed!'_

* * *

So it seems a Pokemon Carnival is in town for Halloween, and I've got to say that the idea of a place where only Pokemon are allowed is a radical idea. This is a cool idea, and I'd support events like this in a minute. Come to think of it, we actually saw something a little like this in BW104 : _Mission: Defeat Your Rival!_, where Riolu, Pikachu, and Oshawott relaxed and played in a private pool for Pokemon only. I really liked this scene. It felt like we were seeing these strong Pokemon just chilling in their down time.

_Riolu: "Ah, this feels great. Boy, were my paws sore from walking around."_

_Pikachu: "Well, I guess I'm lucky Ash let's me ride on his shoulder."_

_Riolu: "Yeah, sure. So, how are things in Smash Bros.?"_

_Pikachu: "Fine, fine. There's this really nice lady there. Her name's Samus. She wears a big robot suit."_

_Riolu: "Any relation to Mega Man?"_

_Pikachu: "No way. . ."_

_Oshawott: "WATER FIGHT!"_

_Pikachu: "Nope." (Uses Thunderbolt)_

Well, back to the story. Our heroes are curious as to who set up this carnival.

* * *

_A woman in a purple top hat and tails suddenly appeared in front of them. "Welcome, welcome!" she said._

_A man in a green top hat and tails appeared beside her. "This is the brand-spanking new Pokemon Halloween Festival!"_

_They both spoke at the same time. "No humans allowed!"_

_"So," the woman said, "are you three here to let loose your Pokemon, so they can enjoy some Halloween fun?"_

* * *

_(Keldeo had a deadpan expression, which was highly exaggerated by costumed his appearance)_

Really. . . we're really going that route? Team Rocket? Seriously? Is that the scope of your imagination, ravengal? All the possibilities of a carnival of Pokemon only, and you just make it into a Team Rocket trap? All these possibilities! All these wonders! All these opportunities for jokes and character development you just throw away for-

* * *

_Dawn walked forward and squinted at the pair. "Say..." she said, "you two wouldn't happen to be Team Rocket, would you?" she asked._

* * *

_(Keldeo stops dead in his tracks)_

Wait, what?

* * *

_The pair blinked at her. "Who?" the man asked._

_There was a sudden crashing noise behind them. Spinning around to look, the group spotted Jessie, James and Meowth in a crumpled heap at the base of a tree._

_Jessie jumped to her feet, outraged. "You little twerp!" she yelled. "If you're gonna recognise us, at least get it right!"_

_James also jumped to his feet. "Yeah!" he added. "We work hard on those costumes!"_

_Meowth also jumped to his feet. "How dare you mistake dose cheap knockoffs for us!" he yelled._

_"Pikachu!" Ash called out. "Get rid of 'em with Thunderbolt!"_

_"(Right!)" Pikachu replied with a nod before leaping off Ash's shoulder. Once he landed on the floor, he charged up his electricity. "(Thundeeeerboooolt!)"_

_The electricity shot from Pikachu's body straight into Team Rocket, who screamed in agony. Soon, there was an explosion and the trio went soaring through the sky._

_"Hey!" Jessie yelled. "We didn't even do anything yet!"_

_"Oh, how cruel the world is," James said._

_"Well, you know what dey say..." Meowth said, "don't do de time if you can't do de crime."_

_All three spoke at the same time. "Looks like Team Rocket's blasting off agaaaain!"_

* * *

_(Keldeo fell back and laughed hard. After catching his breath, he sighed and pointed)_

Alright, _that _was funny treat! Nice trick there, ravengal, you had me going for a second. Wait a minute. Trick. Treat. Trick or treat! Ha-ha!

* * *

_"Now," the woman said, "it'll be three dollars per Pokemon."_

_"Huh?" Ash asked, shocked._

_The man laughed. "Oh, come now," he said, "did you think it would be free?" The pair each held out a hand. "Three dollars each."_

* * *

**_WAH-WAH-WAH-WAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!_**

So after our heroes get their wallets lightened, their Pokemon all head out for a day of Halloween fun.

* * *

_Pikachu was thoroughly enjoying himself at this festival. The stalls, the jack-o-lanterns... it was all so exciting and new. Not to mention, it was a Pokemon-only zone, which was a rare treat. He had to admit, as much as he loved Ash, it was nice to have a break from the guy every now and then._

_Munching on his hot electric-type shish kebab,_

* * *

Wait, what? Shish kebab? As in. . .meat? Since when did Pikachu eat meat. . . .

. . .

_(Keldeo waved his hooves around mysteriously)_

Ooooh! Scary!

* * *

_ he walked over to a nearby stand and noticed that it was a shooting gallery. Buizel and Croagunk were currently competing to win a stick of cotton candy, so he watched them in amusement._

_"(Give it up!)" Buizel said with a grin. "(That cotton candy's mine!)"_

_"(Right...)" Croagunk replied lazily. "(Sure...)"_

* * *

_"Yeah. . .just you wait. . .I'll get that cotton candy. . .and you'll have to watch me eat it slowly. . .slowly. . .ever so slowly. . .mwuah-ha-ha-ha-haaaaa."_

Okay, he didn't say that, but doesn't Croagunk always seem to be up to something? Who knows what's really going on in that mind of his? It might be something like the RED Pyro's mind. . .ugh!

So, Pikachu spots Buneary playing a game to win a large lollipop. She wins before too long, and decides to give it to Pikachu.

* * *

_"(Hey, Pikachu!)" Buneary called out as she hopped over, a yellow lollipop in her paw._

_Pikachu smiled at her. "(Hey, Buneary,)" he replied. "(Nice job with the hoop toss!)"_

_Buneary giggled. "(Thanks! I've been trying for ages to win this thing.)" She held the lollipop out to him. "(Here you go!)"_

_He blinked at her. "(Huh? You're giving it to me?)"_

_"(Uh-huh! I know how much you like sour things and this lollipop is lemon-flavoured!)"_

* * *

He does? Since when? He likes ketchup, but ketchup is sweet.

Oh yeah, and by the way:

_Cave Johnson: "I'm the man who's gonna burn you house down! With the lemons."_

Sorry, I just had to do it.

* * *

She_ giggled quietly, staring at her foot as it shuffled on the floor. "(It also reminded me of you, since it's yellow and all...)"_

_He took it from her, still amazed. "(Thanks, Buneary... but you won this, right? I'd feel kinda bad eating it.)"_

_She covered her mouth with her paws and turned away with another giggle. "(You silly! I won it for you!)"_

_He was so flattered by this that he blushed. Then, embarrassed at his reaction, he scratched the back of his head. "(Aheh... well, gee, thanks. I-)" Suddenly, the ear-piercing scream of a Rattata filled the air, causing Pikachu to snap to attention. "(What the-?)"_

_Buneary pointed to a nearby building. "(It came from over there!)"_

_Pikachu frowned in determination. "(Let's go!)"_

* * *

Just like a hero, always ready to spring into action. Well, it turns out the Rattata screamed because of a _haunted house! Ooooooh!_

* * *

_After a few moments, a Rattata emerged from the building, shaking and stumbling as he walked. "(Scary...)" he mumbled as he walked past the three Pokemon, not even noticing their presence. "(So... scary... Never... again...)"_

_The Sandshrew beamed. "(Thank you! Come again!)"_

* * *

_"(Let me know if my picture gets placed under the word 'sadist' in the dictionary!)"_

* * *

_Pikachu stared after the Rattata, then turned to face the building, a sudden fire of curiosity burning up from within him. What could be in there that would scare the Rattata spitless like that? He just had to know. He also felt the need to prove that he could handle whatever it was that was so scary and that he wouldn't come out stuttering in terror, like the Rattata had._

_Grinning in determination, he nodded. "(Alright, I'm in!)" he said._

_"(What?)" Buneary asked in horror._

_"(Fabulous!)" the Sandshrew replied. He waved a paw towards the entrance. "(Well, in you go!)"_

_"(Great!)" He looked at Buneary. "(Wanna come with me, Buneary?)"_

_Buneary looked torn. She glanced up at the building, down at Pikachu, then over at the entrance. She gulped, fiddling her paws and shuffling her foot. "(Well...)" she replied._

_"(Hey, you don't have to. You just wait here and I'll be out in a bit, okay?)" He turned away and walked towards the door. "(See you later!)"_

_After a few moments of walking, his feet stepped over the threshold and into the building. It was at this moment that he saw Buneary out the corner of his eye, frantically running to his side before slowing to a walk. He smiled, touched by her need to come with him._

* * *

Something tells me she's gonna regret doing that.

Okay, so Pikachu and Buneary in a carnival's haunted house. Eh, I don't see that many possibilities. Now, if it was Buneary and Pikachu in _Lavender Town, __that _would be scary! Well, let's keep reading anyway.

* * *

_Pikachu stopped and pointed. "(Hey, Buneary,)" he said, "(check that out!)"_

_Buneary didn't really want to look, as she was afraid of being scared spitless, but she forced herself to. What she saw was disgusting, but not really scary. Behind a human-sized glass window that stretched taller than Brock, she saw two statues, one a Vigoroth and one a Zangoose. The Vigoroth – a zombie with large gaping wounds all over its body and lifeless white eyes – was clawing out the flesh of the Zangoose, who was screaming in a mixture of fear and agony._

* * *

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-!

_(Keldeo slapped himself)_

Sorry, sorry, sorry. I'm good. I'm fine.

Okay, so they find a. . .creepy, god forsaken, scary looking concoction of Hell. . .Okay ravengal, this story is rated K+, so if you don't want to scare any little kids who are online, you really should change it to T for blood and gore.

* * *

_"(Eww...)" Buneary said, cringing. She hid behind Pikachu to get the vile image out of her line of sight. "(That's so disgusting.)"_

_"(Yeah,)" Pikachu replied. There was a sudden slurping sound. It took Buneary a moment to realise that he was licking his lollipop. "(Not scary, though, huh?)"_

_"(Well, no...)"_

_"(Come on.)" Pikachu walked on. Terrified of being left alone, Buneary make sure to follow closely behind. "(There must be something scary in here.)"_

* * *

So instead of running away while simultaneously screaming and throwing up, Buneary continues to go deeper into the haunted house with Pikachu. And also, if _Pikachu_ isn't affected by an image as gruesome as that, there might just be something wrong with his brain.

* * *

_Pikachu stopped again. "(Oh, hey, look.)" There was a chomping sound as he bit into the lollipop and started chewing it. "(That's pretty cool.)"_

_Buneary looked and saw another glass window. Behind it were two more zombie statues, one of a Lucario and one of an Armaldo, both of which had lifeless white eyes and gaping wounds. The Lucario was holding a chainsaw that was covered in blood. The Armaldo was holding a battleaxe that was covered in blood and the two weapons were clashing together in a fierce battle._

* * *

_(Keldeo points with a slightly turned-on expression)_

Okay, _that _looks totally awesome.

* * *

_Buneary did think it was interesting, but she still didn't like it. She shook her head in protest. "(Pikachu, can we get out of here soon?)"_

_"(Hmm?)" There was another slurp as Pikachu licked his lollipop. "(You wanna leave, Buneary)?"_

_She nodded. "(Uh-huh...)"_

_"(You're scared?)"_

_She didn't want to answer that question honestly, as she was trying to be strong, but she couldn't take much more creepy stuff. Plus, she was still worried about what that Rattata had screamed over earlier._

_"(Uh-huh...)"_

_Pikachu gently turned around, pulling away from her so that he could face her. She looked up into his smiling face and automatically felt better. All light could disappear from the world, but the sun could still shine out of Pikachu's face._

* * *

Oh brother. . .uh, not that I'm complaining, but, isn't this a little too sweet for Halloween?

* * *

_He held out the lollipop. "(Here. Have some of this. It might cheer you up.)"_

_She blinked at him, unable to believe what she was hearing. "(Huh? You're sure?)"_

_"(Of course! Go on, take a bite.)"_

_Suddenly excited about sharing a lollipop with Pikachu, she licked it. The thrill of tasting what he'd tasted caused her to blush and giggle in happiness. She took a bite out of it, flinched briefly at the sourness, then munched on the tasty treat._

_"(Mmm...)"_

_"(Good, isn't it?)" He took a bite and munched it. After a minute, he swallowed it. "(How's about we finish it together and head back out?)"_

* * *

Okay, so I guess that haunted house plot was resolved quickly. So, okay. . .Buneary and Pikachu decide to leave and-

* * *

_"(Not so fast...)" the voice of a Lucario suddenly said._

_Buneary froze, her heart pounding in terror, and noticed that Pikachu had stopped next to her. Unwilling to believe what she'd just heard, she turned slowly to look behind her, Pikachu doing the same. There, directly in front of them, was the Lucario with the chainsaw. It was no longer behind the glass window._

_Instantly, the most repugnant smell hit her nostrils. It was a smell that she'd never encountered before, but she knew exactly what it was: the smell of a rotting corpse. Terror swept over her in waves._

* * *

WHAT IN THE NAME OF BISCUITS?!

* * *

_"(W... What the heck?)" Pikachu cried. His tone of voice betrayed his fear, which only heightened Buneary's panic._

_"(You shall not leave here alive...)"_

_Pikachu stepped in front of Buneary and held out the lollipop stick. "(Back off!)"_

* * *

_(Keldeo deadpanned again)_

A lollipop stick! You have Electricity powers and you hold out a lollipop stick to defend you against a zombie? Oh yeah, and speaking of which- AHHHHHHHHH! ZOMBIE! ZOMBIE! AHHHHHHH!

* * *

_Suddenly, the Armaldo moved from where it was standing and slowly trudged towards the window. Every step it took pounded in Buneary's ears, until it phased through the glass to stand beside the Lucario. Again, the repugnant smell swept over her and the intense fear caused her the immediate desire to faint._

_"(You will die tonight...)" the Armaldo said, raising its battleaxe above its head in a slow and sluggish movement._

_(They're gonna kill us!) Buneary thought, unable to get her breathing under control. (The zombie statues are gonna kill us!)_

_Pikachu threw his stick to one side and charged up some electricity. "(See how you like this, then!)" he yelled. "(Thundeeeerboooolt!)" The electricity shot towards the duo, but, before it could hit them, they disappeared. "(Wha-?)"_

_They reappeared right next to Buneary. Scared halfway to death, she screamed._

_"(Die...)" the Lucario said, firing up the chainsaw._

* * *

HOLY BISCUITS! When did this story turn into the Pokemon version of _Dead Before Dawn!? _

_(Keldeo turned thoughtful for a second)_

Or is it the Pokemon version of _Left 4 Dead?_

_. . . _I don't know, either way- AHHHHHHHHHHHH! ZOMBIES! ZOMBIES! AHHHHHHHHH!

* * *

_Pikachu was terrified. He'd been trying to hide it, in order to stay strong for both himself and Buneary, but zombie statues coming to life and attacking him with chainsaws and battleaxes just wasn't normal._

* * *

_Patrick Tatapolus: "That's a lot of fish."_

* * *

_He'd been trying to get the situation under control, but his failure had led to Buneary running off. Unfortunately, she'd gone in the opposite direction of the entrance and he had no idea how big this place was._

_"(Die...)" the Armaldo said, swinging the battleaxe at him._

_Getting back to reality, he quickly rolled out of the way. The battleaxe crashed to the floor, right where he'd been a moment ago, and got stuck there. His heart pounding, he turned to face the Lucario. The smell from the two was overwhelming, but he fought to ignore it, in favour of staying alive._

_The Lucario stared at him through blank eyes. "(You shall not live...)" it said._

_Breathing deeply, to get his erratic breathing under control, Pikachu stared down the larger Pokemon. "(Wanna bet?)" he challenged._

_The chainsaw swung in his direction, so he ducked and rolled under it. He was horrified to think that, if he'd been a second slower, he'd have lost his head._

_"(You must die...)" the Armaldo said, as it pulled the battleaxe out of the floor._

* * *

Oh my gosh, what kind of carnival haunted house is this!? Imagine the lawsuits this place gets? What would they be: endangerment or _attempted murder_?

* * *

_Suddenly, a blood-curdling scream rang out through the building. Pikachu's heart stopped as he recognised it. "(Buneary!)" he screamed._

_Suddenly, his life meant a little bit less to him than it had before. All that he cared about in that moment was finding Buneary. Getting on all fours, he ran past the Armaldo, narrowly missing another swing from the battleaxe, and set off in a desperate search for her._

* * *

Well, in case two zombies weren't bad enough, it turns out the Zangoose and Virgroth statues also came to life. Yeah, great! That's just what we need! More demonic creatures of terror!

_Portal 2 Announcer: "Sarcasm Sphere Self-Test Complete"_

* * *

_"(You shall die...)" the Vigoroth said, flexing its razor sharp claws._

_Buneary was at her wits' end. "(What do you want from me?)" she screamed at them._

_"(For you to die...)" the Zangoose replied._

_Suddenly, it dashed forward, its claws outstretched and dripping with blood. Thinking quickly, Buneary used Bounce, catapulting herself over their heads and landing on her feet behind them. Taking this as her golden opportunity, she hopped away as fast as she could. Fresh tears continued to leak down her face, as her heart refused to stop racing._

_(Oh, Pikachu...) she thought, as the guilt weighed down her heart, (why did I have to run off and leave you? I'm so sorry... What if I never...?) She choked on a sob, the thought too unbearable. (What if I never see you again?) "(Pikachuuuu!)"_

_"(Buneary?)" a faint voice called out. Recognising the voice, she halted in her tracks, relieved beyond belief._

_"(Pikachu!)" She hopped down the next corridor with a huge smile on her face, knowing that everything would be alright now. "(Pikachu!)"_

_She stopped dead, her blood running cold, as she saw him, directly in front of her. Flesh was falling from his body, blood pooling at his feet, and that awful smell of rotting corpses was radiating from him. Her heart jumped to her throat. He was one of them, now. Slowly, he turned his head towards her, revealing lifeless white eyes, and her emotions spilled from her in waves. Her body shook, as the reality of the situation hit her, and she no longer felt the will to live. She collapsed to her paws and knees._

* * *

AAAAUUUUUUGGGHH!

_(Keldeo covered his eyes in terror and trembled in fear)_

SWEET BUTTERY BISCUITS! It's bad enough we had all those Pikachu-Z Dolls from _Pokemon Dead Channel! _What could possibly top this?

* * *

_Pikachu skidded to a stop, his breath catching painfully in his throat at what he saw in front of him. There Buneary stood, covered in gaping wounds, eyes as white and lifeless as the zombies that had come before her. A lump formed where the breath had caught. There was no way that this could have happened to Buneary. He wasn't able to believe it. He didn't want to believe it. Cheerful, happy-go-lucky Buneary, become a rotting corpse, out to kill anyone who dared to venture into this haunted house?_

* * *

_(Keldeo only looked slightly creeped out)_

_. . ._that's actually not as bad as-

* * *

_"(Die, Pikachu...)" the Buneary said, opening its mouth and bearing a set of razor-sharp teeth._

* * *

_(Keldeo can be heard screaming in terror as he ran far, far away.)_

_30 minutes later. . ._

_(Keldeo is back and he is breathing heavily.)_

Okay. . .it must have looked pretty humorous. . .seeing King Sombra fleeing in terror while screaming his head off. But seriously, this story is scarier than those Creepypastas Kyurem reviews. Heck! I can't even call this story a Creepypasta, cause if I did, it would make all the other Creepypastas feel sad or jealous! This is scarier than the alien in the _Alien _movies, the Thing in _The Thing, _Lord Voldemort and Quirrel in _Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, _the knife in _Paranormal Activity 4, _the dog and baby in _Son of the-_

_(Keldeo stopped short and shuddered in fear.)_

So, instead of running away and screaming, Pikachu just breaks down and cries like a little girl.

* * *

_"(Pikachu, my love... succumb to darkness... Join me...)"_

_That comment managed to strike a nerve inside Pikachu. His tears suddenly flowed freely from his eyes and he cried for his, possibly, lost friend. He knew that she had strong feelings for him – feelings that he still wasn't sure whether or not he returned – so, if this really wasn't Buneary, that had been a really low blow._

* * *

Well, yeah, that was a really low blow. Shame on you. . .uh. . .zombie?

Meanwhile, Buneary is standing up to the zombie Pikachu- wait, what?

* * *

_Buneary snarled at it, very angry and offended by how it had used her love for Pikachu against her. "(Slime!) she yelled. "(As if Pikachu could be killed by you creatures! He's better than that! He's stronger! And faster! He'd never let you kill him! Ice Beam!)"_

_She fired off another blast of chilled air, which froze the floor when the Pikachu disappeared. She wasn't through, however. She continued to fire the Ice Beam all around the room, freezing everything around her, in a mad attempt to catch it. When it reappeared, it screamed in pain as the Ice Beam hit it._

* * *

Wait, wait, wait a minute. Let's think about this. So, Pikachu breaks down crying and gives up. . .but Buneary rallies forth her strength and courage and even manages to score a hit on the zombie? Shouldn't Pikachu be the one who rallies forth and overcomes his fears to save Buneary? Kind of like how a brave knight saves the Princess? Don't get me wrong, I _really_ don't want to make an unnecessary sexism argument, especially seeing how a female wrote this, but I will let out a very concerned and very troubled. . . "Huh?"

So, Buneary runs in and. . .*sigh*. . ._rescues Pikachu. . ._

* * *

_Eventually, she saw the __real_ Pikachu, but he wasn't alone. She stopped hopping and watched in a mixture of horror and disbelief as a zombie Buneary descended upon him. He was crying and shaking.

* * *

Like Silver Surfer on the NES. . .

* * *

_Fury enveloped her. How dare they pull the same trick on him, too. "(Hey!)" she yelled._

_Both Pokemon turned towards her. Pikachu's eyes lit up in amazement. "(Buneary?)" he asked._

_Buneary used Bounce and, as she began to fall towards the zombie Buneary, she extended her foot. "(Leave him alone!)"_

_The Buneary disappeared and Buneary landed on the floor. She quickly shoved Pikachu away and both rolled to a stop, just as the Buneary reappeared._

_"(You're alive...)"_

_She looked down at Pikachu and saw a mixture of affection and relief in his eyes. Her heart swelled, both at seeing that and at seeing him again._

_She smiled back. "(Of course I am. You didn't think they'd kill me that easily, did you?)"_

* * *

_(Keldeo became very serious)_

Kiss her you fool. . .there will never be a better time. . .

* * *

_Pikachu chuckled somewhat nervously, then sobered up with a frown as he watched the zombie Buneary. He climbed to his two feet and Buneary did the same. Buneary, though, heard a noise behind her. Spinning around, she caught sight of the Vigoroth and Zangoose. Turning elsewhere, she saw the Lucario, Armaldo and zombie Pikachu. Her heart pounded in fright at the sight of them all in one place at once._

* * *

Oop! Looks like the make out session will have to wait, cause it's zombie time!

* * *

_Pikachu manoeuvred, so that they were back to back. "(Okay, looks like we're surrounded.)" He paused. "(We're in this together... If we go down, we go down fighting.)"_

_As morbid as that sounded, Buneary agreed. No way was she allowing these things to take away either her life or Pikachu's. She would fight them with everything she had and more._

* * *

_(Keldeo sat up straight and watched intently)_

Alright, so the horror movie battle of all horror movie battles begins. Here it goes.

* * *

_The zombies all slowly moved forward, until they formed a perfect circle around them. Buneary tensed, expecting a battle of epic proportions any minute now. She expected them all to strike at once, leaving little room for error. She tried to control her shaking. She was in this with Pikachu. It was do or die._

* * *

Here is comes!

* * *

_The zombies all stared intensely at them through their lifeless white eyes. Suddenly, they all started laughing. Buneary was perplexed._

* * *

Why are you perplexed! They're laughing cause they're gonna kill you!

* * *

_A huge cloud of purple smoke erupted from the floorboards. Buneary coughed and hacked, as it got into her eyes, nose and throat, and Pikachu sounded like he was doing the same. When the cloud finally cleared, Buneary looked up and was completely floored at the sight that was before her._

_Glancing around at what was once a circle of living zombie statues, she now saw a circle of ghost-type Pokemon, all grinning mischievously at her and Pikachu. Forming the circle was a Haunter, a Gengar, a Mismagius, a Duskull, a Shuppet and a Banette._

_"(What the-?)"_

_The Gengar laughed. "(We really scared you two, didn't we?)" he asked._

_The Banette chuckled. "(Sure did!)" he replied for them. "(We run the world's best Pokemon-only haunted house!)"_

_The Mismagius nodded. "(We hope you enjoyed yourselves,)" she said._

_Buneary, still traumatised from the night's events, couldn't speak for shock. Pikachu apparently couldn't, either, because he, too, remained silent._

_"(You were probably wondering why no one heard you scream,)" the Duskull said. He chuckled. "(It's because the walls are sound-proof. Outsiders can only hear you scream if you're right near the door.)"_

_The Haunter cackled. "(Besides,) he said, "(it's not like you two were ever in any real danger.)"_

* * *

_(Keldeo blinked his eyes a few times, then his entire body began to shake violently)_

WwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwWWWW WHAT!?

You actually played the Scooby Doo card and made it all a hoax?!

_Wheatley: "You are joking! you have got to be kidding me!"_

* * *

_"(Wasn't that fun?)" the Shuppet asked. She giggled. "(Come again!)"_

* * *

_(Keldeo is shocked beyond belief)_

_"Wasn't - that -fun?"?!_

What the heck is wrong with you!? You chased them around this whole place with axes and chainsaws, made each of them think that the other was dead, assumed that they were a couple and tried to use that against them, and you call that FUN?! Yeah, fun like the HOLOCAUST!

These guys are _sick! _Okay, I understand haunted houses are supposed to be scary, but there aren't supposed to be crazy actors chasing you around with weapons. And answer me this, cause maybe I'm just a bit sheltered or crazy or both, but when have you ever gone into a haunted house with someone, gotten separated from them by people dressed as psychotic killers wielding realistic lethal weapons, and then come across an actor who's taken the appearance of your friend as if he or she was brutally murdered and came back as a zombie. And all of this happens without you knowing it's all an act in advance. That's psychological torment, and that would be _illegal _if it happened in real life. These Pokemon are _sociopaths_! Do those two people cashing in on this carnival know what these Pokemon are doing? Cause if they do, then they're as sick as the Pokemon!

You know how this _should've_ gone? Pikachu and Buneary beat up all these psychos up and report them to, I don't know, the head Pokemon or something, and these creeps all get fired or arrested or punished or something! Cause in my mind, these guys are villains and they need to get their comeuppance.

But instead, Buneary and Pikachu just walk out with all those terrible images that will never leave their minds and forever haunt their dreams.

* * *

_Pikachu walked slowly out of the haunted house with Buneary, still too shocked to really speak. It seemed that Buneary was just as traumatised, because she was also keeping quiet. Soon, they reached the front door and, walking out of it and into the darkening landscape, they saw the Sandshrew, with his bright smile._

_"(Thank you!)" he said cheerfully, as they walked past him. "(Come again!)"_

* * *

_"(Heil Zalton. . .) he said quietly while giving the horned salute with his right paw behind his back._

* * *

_Pikachu turned to Buneary. "(Buneary?)" he asked._

_Buneary looked back at him. "(Yeah, Pikachu?)" she replied._

_"(I think I've had enough of this festival, now... I wanna go back to Ash.)"_

_"(Yeah, me too... I wanna get back to my Pokeball and rest.)"_

_"(Alright, let's go.)"_

_Reaching a mutual agreement, the two of them left the festival grounds, and all other Pokemon in them, and headed towards the area that Ash, Dawn and Brock had said they would be. Pikachu figured they'd had enough Halloween 'fun' to last them a lifetime._

_**The End**_

* * *

Oh my gosh, it's over!

I mean, wow. . .wow. . .sweet butter flaky golden biscuits wow. This was even worse than the Zalton story arc. At least there wasn't any zombies with razor sharp teeth and bloody gashes and pieces of flesh hanging off of them. I mean, my gosh! This story had everything. Body horror. Paranoia. Psychological terror. Buildup. A deceptively happy and lighthearted beginning. Everything. And now that I think about it, it was kind of clever to have Buneary rescue Pikachu. It showed that she had depth to her character and could be a strong protagonist.

The only problem was that the ending seemed anticlimactic and it kinda seemed like the bad guys won. But other than that, it was a fun, action packed horror story that ended well enough for our protagonists. I can honestly say that I'll be reading it every Halloween.

After all, unlike with the Zalton story arc, no one sent me an animated version of this to me. I can handle reading these descriptions of the zombies, but actually _seeing_ a zombie Pikachu or a zombie Buneary with huge razor sharp teeth? Whoa boy! I'd loose my mind with terror!

_(Suddenly a Delibird flew down and took a package out of his sack.)_

_"Delivery for Keldeo the Critic!"_

_(A look of horror passed across Keldeo's face)_

Oh. . .um . . .I think that package was meant for _Kyurem _the Critic. Yeah. . .our names get mixed up a lot, you know, with the K's. Yeah, so, just send that off to Kyurem the Critic. Okay.

_"Oh! Okay!"_

_(Keldeo watched the Delibird leave until he was out of sight)_

Whew! Dodged a Bullet Seed!

Well, I'm Keldeo the Critic and I just reviewed a Pokemon Fanfiction.

**The End**

Preformed by Keldeo of the Swords of Justice

**Credits**

_My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic- S3 E1 and 2 "The Crystal Empire"_

_Nostalgia Critic- The Last Airbender_

_Nostalgia Critic- Titanic Animated_

_Angry Video Game Nerd- Silver Surfer_

_Kyurem the Critic_

_Portal 2_

_Pokemon Dead Channel_

_Alien_

_Son of the Mask_

_The Thing_

_Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone_

_Bum Reviews- Paranormal Activity 3_

_Paranormal Activity 4_

_Left 4 Dead_

_Dead Before Dawn_

_Super Smash Bros. Brawl_

_Mega Man_

_Metroid_

**_Special Thanks_**

_Bulbapedia_

_**The comments expressed in this review are written in such a way so that negative aspects are used to create jokes. There will NOT be any bashing or ranting. Also, good things in a FanFic will be praised. Particularly bad FanFictions WON'T**** be totally thrashed, but expect to see major grievances addressed.**_

_**(This was a parody of the Nostalgia Critic by Doug Walker on That Guy With The Glasses)**_

* * *

_"(Wasn't that fun?)" the Shuppet asked. She giggled. "(Come again!)"_


	12. E3- Is a Live Action Poke Movie Bad?

_**The review must go on!**_

Keldeo reared up on his hind legs, his expression serious and his Secret Sword raised and glowing brightly.

**Keldeo the Critic**

**Editorial 3- Would a Live Action Pokemon Movie Be Bad?**

It's me! Keldeo the Critic! I review Pokemon Fanfiction when I'm not training with the other Swords of Justice!

Lots of classic cartoons are reimagined as live action movies with some CGI thrown in. Even the Dragon Ball Z Anime is getting that treatment. So, would a live action Pokemon movie be bad?

. . . . .

OF COURSE IT WOULD BE BAD! IT WOULD SUCK! IT WOULD BE THE FOULEST STUPIDEST MOST AWFUL INSULTING PIECE OF TRASH THAT EVER-!

_(Terrakion ran in and tackled Keldeo and did his best to restrain him)_

* * *

_10 minutes later._

* * *

_(Keldeo is disheveled looking and seems embarrassed)_

I'm sorry about that little outburst. . .it's just that. . .I get a little touchy when someone mentions making. . .a live action Pokemon movie _that's so insulting and stupid and horrible looking and sounding DON'T YOU DARE EVEN MENTION THAT-_

_(Keldeo sprayed water in his face. His teeth were grit and he still looked angry, but he looked calmer.)_

Alright. . .let's be adult about this.

The reason I don't want a live action Pokemon movie is that movies based off of cartoon FAIL! Why do they fail? Well, usually it's because they all follow the following plot: characters are in their world, they get transported into the real world, modern hi-jinks ensue. That's a stupid plot. We've seen it in those two Smurfs movies, we've seen it in Rocky and Bullwinkle, we've seen it in Fat Albert, we've seen it in _Super Mario Bros., _we've seen it in Enchanted. Heck! Even Friendship is Magic did this with Equestria Girls. The only thing that saved it was that it was still a cartoon. Why do people want to bring characters out of their fictional interesting worlds and put them in the real world? Do they honestly think New York City or Paris is more interesting than the magical Smurf village and forest full of mythical creatures and characters?

Now, you'd probably say, "Well, what if the movie stays in the Pokemon world?" Well, sad to say, it would still fall victim to the other flaws of live action cartoon movies.

The first is horrible CGI. We've seen it in Marmaduke, in those Garfield movies, in that Yogi Bear movie, and in those four Scooby Doo Movies. The CGI is AWFUL! Not only is it obvious that those characters aren't really there, they kinda look creepy! These are supposed to be comedies, not horror films! I understand it was a cartoon first, and cartoons don't look like the real thing, but if you're making a live action movie, shouldn't the animal characters look real enough. Or at the very least not completely hideous? They can smile, laugh, jump around, and walk on two legs all they want; but for goodness sake, make them look real! The thought of Pikachu being disgraced by the evil CGI just makes my blood boil!

The second flaw is characters. These writers think they just because it's not animated like the source material that it's completely different and that they can put their own spin on these beloved characters, or that they have to update them for a new generation. Well, I'm sorry, but if updating characters means turning the Scooby Gang into jerks, and making _the brave and adorable Scrappy Doo into an evil villain who tries to kill everyone, _then no thanks! All of these live action adaptations have a ton of modern slang and jokes that the real characters wouldn't be caught dead doing. These writers think "modern" means dirty jokes, toilet humor, fart jokes, burping jokes, gross out humor, forced romances, and lame pop cultural references!

Don't believe me? Well, what if I told you that they released a trailer for a Hong Kong Phooey movie a while back. It was a classic Hannah Barberra cartoon about a goofy bumbling dog who uses Kung Fu to fight criminals. Kinda like Kung Fu Panda combined with Krypto the Superdog and Scooby Doo. Not only is the CGI Scooby Doo looking dog voiced by the annoying Eddie Murphy, the trailer contains three of the _foulest toilet/gross out humor jokes I have ever experienced in my entire life. And each one is worse than the last. Worse than "The Splinter"! Worse than the scene where Squidwards foot gets a hole punched into it! _I would rather lick a Slugma than watch that trailer again!

Now, imagine what these guys could do with Pokemon. They'd probably turn Ash into an idiotic butt monkey that always gets abused. I suppose Pikachu would have an "accident" while riding on Ash's shoulder. Meowth would probably go to the bathroom on Ash's foot or something. There'd probably be a scene where James sees Jessie naked. Oh, and they're might be something similar to that scene in Smurfs where Ash discovers Pikachu's a boy by looking in a place eyes aren't meant to go.

I know I'm being really negative here, but look what these movie studios have done! Is it really that far fetched to assume that they'd probably deface Pokemon as well? Well, I don't think we should take the chance, because I would loose my mind if they took something as great as Pokemon and defiled it like they did to so many other classic cartoons.

Now, you might be thinking that this isn't a real Pokemon review because I'm not talking about anything Pokemon related that actually exists. Well. . .

_(Keldeo sighed and looked down sadly)_

. . .you'd be right. That's why I have to review _Pokémon Apokélypse: Live Action Trailer HD. _It's a fanmade trailer for a fake live action Pokemon movie. If they made a live action movie for Pokemon, this is what it would look like. Look, I don't know who made it, when they made it, or why they made it. It was on Megasteakman's channel. It has it's own webpage on shogungamer dot com with an interview with the creators. So do your own research, I'm just here to talk about it. So, does it look awful as that disgraceful Hong Kong Phooey trailer? Let's find out.

So we begin in Celadon City, where we see- _okay this is gonna suck_. In this movie, Ash is like 60 years old! And you know what, if Ash were to be aged up to 60 in the anime, I don't think he'd look like this guy they go to play Ash in this movie!

So, it turns out Pokemon Battling was made illegal when people protested. . ._oh my gosh, IT'S PETA! _Or. . .Team Plasma if they weren't tying to take over the world and really did it just for the Pokemon. So we see news reports and people protesting, saying that Pokemon Trainers are abusing Pokemon. Well, that's nice. You're giving support to PETA when they constantly attack Pokemon and completely ignoring the themes of love and friendship. That's nice.

So, it turns out Ash is part of an underground Pokemon Battling ring.

* * *

_"Pikachu's gonna die in those pits."_

* * *

_(Keldeo face hoofed)_

Okay, I'm convinced. This trailer was either made by or influenced by PETA. Pokemon don't die in Battles. in the Anime, Charmander almost died because of the rain, Pikachu almost died because Raichu hit him at short range with a Hyper Beam, and Chimchar was wounded because Paul didn't let him rest or take him to a Pokemon Center to be healed. If this is supposed to be Ash, then I'm pretty sure he'd made sure Pikachu's happy and healthy, seeing as throughout the entire series, Ash has shown unconditional love to Pikachu!

So, we see the illegal underground battles, and while the show had bright lights and excited music, this PETA Propaganda Film is all dark with dramatic dark music.

So we get our first look at-

_(Keldeo jumped back in shock)_

_What the heck are those things? _Those are Pokemon? I knew the CGI would be terrible, but. . .oh my gosh, those things are so ugly! I mean, they're hideous! Isn't the point of Pokemon are that some are awesome looking and some are cute and some are both cute and awesome? Well all I see are a bunch of alien mutants!

So, then we see Ash meet with. . .I don't know, Lex Luthor, who offers Ash a suitcase full of money to let Pikachu loose against an Ivysaur. Ash refuses, and the guy mentions Oak and Misty, who look nothing like they do in the Anime. Then we have a scene with Ash and Misty, and Misty swears at Ash for some reason, I think because she's mad at Ash for going to illegal battles, I guess. . .wait, then they hug and kiss? What's going on?

_(The trailer shows a close up of Pikachu, causing Keldeo to scream and cover his eyes)_

_Aaaaaauuugh! _

That was horrible! It's like looking at E.T. covered in yellow vomit! GAH! These Pokemon are hideous! Why can't they just do it like _Who Framed Roger Rabbit _or _Space Jam _or those Ponies in Real Life videos on Youtube! I'd rather look at anything than that monstrosity! No one would want to cuddle that! They'd want to blast it with a shotgun!

So, after Pikachu is wounded, I don't know how, seeing as he's been through far worse in the Anime, Ash gives the bald guy his money back and quits. . .

_(Keldeo blinks in confusion)_

Wait, that R in the background. . is this Team Rocket? So, that bald guy is Giovanni? Are you kidding me!? the Fire Lord in the _Last Airbender _movie looked closer to the source material!

So "Giovanni" says he's gonna kill all of Ash's friends. Then we skip to Professor Oak; where a guy, a girl, and a Meowth are-

_(Keldeo's eyes go wide)_

_THAT'S JESSIE AND JAMES?! _They're not even wearing Team Rocket uniforms! They're dressed in all black! They don't even have any R's on their shirts! And James' voice is all wrong! And why is Meowth the only animal-based Pokemon that looks okay in this?

So apparently Team Rocket has captured Oak, Misty, and even Brock. Wow, Brock actually looks like he does in the Anime. And then Jessie and James pull out machine guns. Yeah, this trailer has already failed. And is that guy using a Magnemite as a gun? Really?

So then we finish with dramatic music and scenes of characters running, characters fighting, a car blowing up, Pokemon attacking, a Gyrados, Mewtwo, Ash catching a Pokemon, the Team Rocket Trio firing their machine guns, Ash and misty holding guns and Pokeba-_**WAIT A MINUTE! **Mewtwo?! Mewtwo is in this movie? _What a disgrace, he looks horrible! He looks like a giant purple kangaroo fox.

Oh, "Prepare for Trouble Summer 2010"? Yeah right.

Wow. . .that was pretty bad. Sure, there wasn't any dirty humor, but that's because there was no humor at all! It's Pokemon! It's supposed to be fun with action and humor with cute creatures. This adaptation was horrible. The Team Rocket Trio are now a bunch of thugs with guns and aren't funny anymore. There aren't any fun Pokemon battles where you can cheer the hero on without feeling unclean. The Pokemon don't do anything cute and funny. Misty is just the action girl who's just there to be Ash's love interest and create some romantic conflict. Giovanni looks like Lex Luther. Ash doesn't look like himself. And the whole thing takes place in a world that looks like _1984_. I would rather watch _Sharknado _than this movie.

So, now you know why I hate the idea of making a live action Pokemon movie. It could either be a depressing and overly serious drama that makes you feel awful like this trailer, or a stupid comedy with low class humor where all the characters are changed for the worst. Either way, it'll have horrible CGI animation that makes the Pokemon look uglier than the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles with third degree burns.

So, if anyone who has connections to movie making studios is reading this, then listen up. If anyone ever tries to make a live action Pokemon movie, I will personally hunt you down and destroy you!

I'm Keldeo the Critic and I just reviewed a fan made Pokemon Movie Trailer!

* * *

**The End**

Performed by Keldeo of the Swords of Justice

**_Credits_**

_Hannah Barberra_

_Warner Brothers_

_1984 _by Goerge Orwell

_Superman- DC Comics_

_Nostalgia Critic- Batman and Robin_

_Nostalgia Critic- Is Twilight the Worst Thing Ever?_

_Nostalgia Critic- The Last Airbender_

_Megasteakman on Youtube_

_Sharknado- SciFi Channel_

_Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles_

_SpongeBob Squarepants- Nickleodeon_

**_Special Thanks_**

_shogungamer dot com_

_**The comments expressed in this review are written in such a way so that negative aspects are used to create jokes. There will NOT be any bashing or ranting. Also, good things in a FanFic will be praised. Particularly bad FanFictions WON'T**** be totally thrashed, but expect to see major grievances addressed.**_

_**(This was a parody of the Nostalgia Critic by Doug Walker on That Guy With The Glasses)**_

* * *

_"Pikachu's gonna die in those pits."_


	13. Overdue Sunrise

_SLASH-BOOOOOM!_

The wall was blown apart by Keldeo's Focus Blast.

_**The review must go on!**_

Keldeo activated his Secret Sword and swung it.

Keldeo sprayed water from his hooves, putting out the forest fire around him.

Keldeo slid across the icy ground and gave Kyurem a kick in the face.

_**The review must go on!**_

Keldeo growled angrily at Ash, but then ran and put his head under a water fountain to cool off.

_**That's the theme of this song!**_

_**Although the waits may be long,**_

Keldeo cried out as Honchkrow hit him with Perish Song.

Keldeo and Ryan the Reviewer fought on a cliff top, Secret Sword and Bone Rush clashing over and over.

Keldeo and Ash gobbled down food, but then started to choke and began moving their head in an attempt to swallow.

**_I am a Swords of Justice. . ._**

Keldeo ran through memories of him with Terrakion, Virizion, and Coballion, and jumped, turning into his Resolute Form in mid air with a flash of light.

_**The review must go on!**_

Keldeo reared up on his hind legs, his expression serious and his Secret Sword raised and glowing brightly.

**Keldeo the Critic**

**"Overdue Sunrise" by LDSocrates**

It's me! Keldeo The Critic! I review Pokemon FanFiction when I'm not training with the other Swords of Justice!

Let's talk about _Lack of Communications Kills: The Movie._

_. . . ._

Oh, sorry, I meant to say _Lucario and the Mystery of Mew!_

Seriously, that movie made me feel terrible! The whole plot a misunderstanding that almost killed Ash and his friends, nearly killed Mew, and caused Lucario to kill himself! Okay, I know he went to Heaven, but he still died young! He never even got to fall in love! . . .Except with chocolate. . .but what kind of compensation is that?

If Mew hadn't kidnapped Pikachu and Meowth, or if Sir Aaron had taken them time to explain things to Lucario before he sealed him away, and if Kidd hadn't scared Mew, or if Mew had just read their minds, then _Lucario wouldn't have died!_

So, yeah, the movie isn't the best Pokemon film, but hey! At least it's Fanfiction fodder! This is _Overdue Sunrise!_

* * *

_******Overdue Sunrise**_

_**Author:** LDSocrates PM_

_After Lucario's death, Mew is affected the most. She begins to wonder: Why did he do it? Why did she LET him do it? She begins to examine her own life... and if there is a point in continuing it. Can a certain someone change her mind before it's too late?_

* * *

It seems that Mew is finally going to take some responsibility for the chain of events she caused by taking Pikachu and Meowth away. Good! Some justi- _wait a minute! _The way that summary is _worded_. . .is Mew. . ._contemplating suicide?_

Who on Earth thought of that?

. . . .

_(Keldeo suddenly turned excited)_

Come on, everyone! Let's see how it turns out!

_Children: "Yaaaaaaaay!"_

So we get an author's note that says that this story is actually a romance! Mew and Lucario shipping!

* * *

_**As you've undoubtedly noticed, this is a Romance oneshot. The main pairing here is Treeshipping (I own the name!), or Mew/Lucario, or Myukario (Damned Lolita owns that name), or whatever you want to call it. I've seen quite a bit of this pairing on DeviantArt, but I haven't seen it even once here on FFN. So, I decided to take a crack at it myself; besides, who ****doesn't**** love to be first?**_

* * *

Wait. . .a cat and a dog?

. . .

_(Keldeo looked around nervously)_

That both creeps me out and blows my mind at the same time.

Did they even have anything going on between them? I mean, they saw each other for like 20 minutes, then Lucario saved her life and died. Does that warrant an actual romance? Sure, Mew would feel bad about Lucario dying to save her, but romance? As in, she has a crush on him? I don't know. . .

Oh yeah, and Mew's a girl in this. That's kinda important for obvious reasons.

In addition to that, we get some . . . instructions. Yeah, that's right, instructions to read a story.

* * *

_**This is also my first official attempt at first-person writing. While the whole thing is in first-person, who's POV it is changes once, indicated by page breaks. The first, as you've likely guessed is Mew. The second… well, that'd be telling, now wouldn't it?**_

_**And just so you're warned, the first half (Mew's half) might be a little confusing if you don't read this paragraph. The parts in italics are Mew's thoughts on what happened during and before the movie "Lucario and the Mystery of Mew". The parts that aren't in italics, however, are things that are happening in the 'present.'**_

* * *

_(Keldeo shrugged)_

Okay, that's a different and clever way to tell a story. This could prove to be an interesting way to convey some emotions.

Alright then! On with the story!

So we start out with Mew feeling sad as she reminisces about the other time a brave selfless hero died to save her and the Tree of Life.

* * *

_Why? A simple enough question, don't you think? Why did you do it? Why did you throw your life away like that? Why did you leave me all alone?_

* * *

Uh, because if he didn't, you, the Tree, and all the Pokemon in it would die a slow painful death. Sure, it was your fault that all happened, but let's not bring up _minor _details, shall we?

* * *

_But then you came along. I was always told by all the other Legendaries to avoid contact with mortals if at all possible, but then again, none of them knew how to shapeshift. And when I saw you, I felt that you were… different then all the others. You had a certain charm that all the other common pokemon, let alone the human-raised ones, did not._

_After that, I began to visit the palace more often, in the guise of a garden-variety pikachu. I watched you. Saw you become the warrior your kingdom needed you to be._

_I remember the first time you noticed my presence. You were by yourself, meditating in one of the forest's many groves, as you always did. I was in the bushes nearby, content at just sitting there, watching you almost literally let the grass grow beneath your feet._

_Which made it all the more embarrassing when you found me out. Of course, my babbling like an idiot while trying to come up with an excuse didn't exactly help things. When I finally came up with the unimaginative lie that I was just passing through, you didn't believe me for a second. _Just my luck_, I remember thinking, _he has a nice bod and a brain!

* * *

_(Keldeo shook his head and his eyes were wide with shock)_

Wait, what?

* * *

he has a nice bod and a brain!

* * *

. . .

Wait, what?!

* * *

he has a nice bod and a brain!

* * *

_(Keldeo blinked slowly, then sighed)_

Alright then. I'm sorry, but I can't just ignore that line. So. . .here are my jokes!

**_Keldeo The Critic's Top 10 Jokes to Go With This Line!_**

**_Number 10!_**

Talk about brans and brawn!

_**Number 9!**_

He's like if Mojo Jojo were the same kind of ape King Kong was!

_**Number 8!**_

I wonder if his brain can work out how a cat body can mate with a dog body?

_**Number 7!**_

He has a bigger vocabulary than "I pick things up and put them down!"

_**Number 6!**_

So that's why she ordered those _Krypto the Superdog _DVDs!

_**Number 5!**_

Hey Mew! I know a Lucario with a nice bod, brain,_ and a lightsaber_!

**_Number 4!_**

I hope she never sees Link in his wolf form! She'll swoon in 10 seconds flat!

_**Number 3!**_

Sorry Lucas, but without a chest spike, your bod's just not up to snuff!

_**Number 2!**_

Mew doesn't always fall in love, but when she does, she prefers Super Smash Bros. Brawl characters.

_**And the Number 1 joke to go with this line is:**_

Look at your 'Mon, now back at him, now back at your 'Mon, now back at him. You're 'Mon can have his brains and bod too. . .oh wait, he can't, cause he's a hot Aura Guardian! Play us out, Roxie!

_(Roxie's band, "Koffing and the Toxics", started playing some strong rock music which Keldeo rocked along with. After about a minute of this, the band stopped playing left.)_

Okay, so it turns out Mew and Lucario have met before in the past, and Mew fell in love with him apparently. I can understand that. Lucario's a strong, noble, mighty warrior. I can see how girls would find that attractive in males. Despite the whole ironic-species thing.

* * *

I slowly drifted up upward, ascending until I reached the barrier of stone and crystal that blocked the sky. "This should be high enough," I said to myself, peering down at the calm waters beneath my feet.

_And then you surprised me. You actually _invited_ me to meditate with you. I accepted, even though meditating wasn't really my thing. I mean, I'm already a demi-goddess; I'd had entire millennia to learn how to concentrate. Not that you knew that, of course._

_But still, I couldn't stay still for two seconds back then; and yet, I had no trouble doing so that day, or any of the days after that. Just being with you gave me a strange sensation that I had never experienced before in all of my thousands of years of life. It's hard to explain; I felt calm, at peace, like everything would be right with the world if only you would stay by my side. And, most importantly, I felt… happy._

* * *

So Mew goes on to describe a whole bunch of extra backstory that makes the romance seem believable. They meditated together. . .

_(Keldeo ground to a halt)_

Wait a minute, _Mew_? Meditating? As in. . .sitting very still for a long period of time? . . .Wow. . .love _does _conquer all!

So while disguised as a Pikachu, she became really close to Sir Aaron and Lucario. Unfortunately, she never got to tell Lucario who she really was or how she felt about him, due the events of the movie's Prologue.

* * *

_Then the war came. I tried to find you before the battle started, to sift through the chaos to find the one person I had ever loved._

_But I couldn't. That blasted fog… with it hanging around, I couldn't see a damn thing. I tried to search longer, but I felt too drained. The Tree of Beginning to which I was bound was in danger of collapsing. I returned to my home, defeated, hoping beyond hope that you would survive._

_And then he came. Sir Aaron. He said that he understood that the fates of both me and the Tree were intertwined, and offered the Aura needed to initiate the spell that would stop the fighting. His own Aura. His own life._

_I tried to stop him, to tell him who I was, that I could never do that to him, my friend. But I realized that he couldn't understand me. After that, everything went blank. I have no idea what happened after that. When I had regained my senses, I looked back, to see Aaron gone. But I felt his presence, I knew it. This was when I realized that he was _inside_ me!_

_I couldn't believe what I had just done. I had accepted his Aura, all of it, and offered it to the Tree. I was disgusted with myself. I had practically _eaten_ him! Worse than that, I had eaten his soul!_

* * *

_(Keldeo but a hoof in his mouth to stifle his laughter)_

Oh, I'm sorry, sorry, sorry. It's just that. . .that line is even funnier than the other one!"

* * *

_I had eaten his soul!_

* * *

Pppft- Ah-hahahaahahahaa! Oh boy, that's so funny! Okay, fanfic, you can continue to be sad now.

* * *

_In tears, I rushed back to the palace. I wanted to find you, to beg for your forgiveness, to tell you I loved you. But you were nowhere to be found. I sensed your presence, but for the life of me I could not find you._

_And then, I found the staff. The one Aaron had imprisoned you in before he made his final sacrifice. I tried to communicate with you, tell you I was sorry for what I had done, that all I wanted was to be in your arms and for you to wipe the tears away, for you to tell me it would all be okay._

_But you didn't come out. I doubt you even heard me._

_I was heartbroken. I convinced myself that it was all a bad dream, and that when I woke up the next morning, everything would be back to normal. I did wake up. I went to the palace, certain that you and Aaron would be training in the courtyard like you did every day. All that greeted me in that courtyard was Sir Aaron's funeral._

_Tears were the only thing that marked the passage of the next few weeks. I don't know why I cried so much. I guess I thought that the tears might wash the pain away._

_They didn't. Nothing ever did._

* * *

Now, you might be wondering, what about the events at the _end_ of the movie? Well, here are those events from Mew's prospective:

* * *

_After returning to the Tree of Beginning with my two new friends, I found that everything had not been a complete waste; now a group of humans thought I had actually kidnapped their precious pokemon, the pikachu and the meowth, and were coming to get them back. While I was mad that the human wretch that had attacked me in the first place was coming with them, I discovered that you were coming too._

_To describe myself at that moment as 'overjoyed' would be an understatement. I was practically bouncing off the walls._

_That mood disappeared when you first arrived. The three Regis that were the Tree's vanguards were attacking the humans that accompanied you, and yet you kept getting in the way. Why would you risk your life for a bunch of worthless pests? One of the humans you were traveling with had attacked me, and I sensed greed and ambition in the one they considered their leader from the very start._

_And yet when the Tree's antibodies absorbed them, I saw… sadness in your eyes. Why were you sad? Were those not humans, the source of the world's problems, the parasites of the land?_

_But… if I could do anything to make you happy, I would do so gladly. So I released them, against my better judgment._

_Then, I began to feel weak. Drained. As I had all those centuries before. I remember the girl who had attacked me saying that the Tree was becoming unstable… but how could that be? The Tree of Beginning was the most powerful thing in the world, the greatest gift of the Creator to his children. How could it be flawed…?_

_The next thing I knew, we were at the heart of the tree itself. The crystals that made up the chamber, they were… red. Blood red. Why was this happening?_

_I watched, cradled in the human girl's arms, as you activated that blasted Time Flower. Saw Sir Aaron's last moments. Discovered his fate at last._

_I found the strength to fly again, and drifted over to you. I wanted to be out with it, say those three words I had longed to say for what felt like an eternity._

_But those were not the words that came out of my mouth. To my own astonishment, I found myself saying that that if you sacrificed your own Aura, your own life, as Aaron had, then the Tree would be saved. The words simply flew out, I had no control over them, and no matter how much I willed myself to, I could not speak anything more. I wanted to warn you about what would happen if you followed my instructions, that you would suffer a fate far worse than death, but the words simply wouldn't form._

* * *

Wait, wait, wait! So, let me get this straight. You. . .are madly in love with him. You don't see him from hundreds of years. He finally comes back. But instead of confessing your burning passionate feelings, you just give him instructions on how to become one of the many allegories for Jesus Christ? Really?

How does that make any sense? Was the Tree in control of your mind so that it could make you convince Lucario into saving it? I mean, come on! You've been harboring this guilt for how many centuries, but then when you and your Tree are about to die all that suddenly goes blank and you go on an auto-pilot self-preservation mode? I mean, you had time to make a quick confession. Just explain yourself quickly and reveal yourself as the garden Pikachu. Would it really have taken that long?

* * *

_I watched in horror as you offered you Aura to me. I felt the slightest sense of reprieve when it turned out that you didn't have enough Aura to complete the transfer. But that kid… that _brat_ just _had_ to play hero! He donned Aaron's gloves and began to add his own Aura into the mix. And so you continued your self-righteous suicide._

* * *

Uh. . .this is the same "brat" that stopped Mewtwo from killing you in the First Movie, isn't it? It is?! Oh, well, that's interesting, seeing as Mew doesn't seem to remember or care about that little detail! Ah well, maybe the author never saw The First Movie. Yeah, that's it.

Now, you probably have noticed what Mew is doing as she is remembering all of this.

* * *

I slowly drifted up upward, ascending until I reached the barrier of stone and crystal that blocked the sky. "This should be high enough," I said to myself, peering down at the calm waters beneath my feet.

* * *

_Inspector Javert: "I am reaching. . .but I fall. . ._

* * *

I glanced around, surveying the place I had called home for so long, wondering if anyone would miss me.

Sighing, I tilted my head back, gazing up at the green crystal that gave this place life. I had never thought anything of it, but now it felt like its continuous twinkling was mocking me.

* * *

_Inspector Javert: "And the stars are black and cold. As I stare into a void. Of a world that cannot hold."_

* * *

I closed my eyes, blocking everything out, the only thing reaching my ears being the sound of my own heart.

I took a deep breath, cleared my mind…

* * *

_Inspector Javert: "Ill escape now, from that world. From the world of Jean Von Jean."_

* * *

…and I started to fall.

* * *

_Inspector Javert: "There is no where I can turn."_

* * *

The sound of air rushing past me filled my ears as I made my descent.

* * *

_Inspector Javert: "There is no way to go ooooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnn!"_

* * *

A loud splash rang out as I touched down. Then… silence.

I slowly opened my eyes to see an endless abyss of blue before me. My feet and tail were hanging limply in the water as I sunk deeper and deeper.

I gazed up at the light dancing above the surface, thinking, _It just couldn't end quickly for me, could it?_

* * *

**_WAH-WAH-WAH-WAAAAAAAAHHHHH!_**

That's right. You saw it here folks. The Legendary Pokemon Mew just committed suicide! Wow! Just wow! I never thought I'd ever see something like this. I mean, _Mew commiting suicide! _That's just waaaaay out there! I mean, don't get me wrong, it isn't bad. It's just shocking. It's not like Mew just jumps and kills herself for no reason. No, we see so much backstory during all of this. Her bond with Aaron and Lucario, her guilt over Aaron and Lucario sacrificing their lives, her bitterness against humans, her pain over never admitting her love for Lucario, there's so much going on here, it's just incredible!

In fact, does anyone ever give Mew's feelings a second thought when they watch this movie. Often they think of Mew as the antagonist that caused the problem by taking Meowth and Pikachu away, or the Deus Ex Machina who brings the humans back to life, or the MacGuffin item that's the key to the plot so Lucario can do his heroic sacrifice. But in reality, Mew is probably the worst off after that movie. Think about it. She's gonna have survivors guilt, she wasn't reunited with anyone, she didn't go to Heaven, she didn't have anything of hers restored except her health, and she didn't even learn anything! Oh my gosh, poor Mew!

_(Keldeo hung his head)_

Wow. I'm a jerk for making all those jokes about this. This is a serious story with drama and emotion. Mew's heart is so broken that its driven her to suicide. Man. . .this author has _power._

_. . . _

Okay then, back to the story, Mew is slowly starting to drown.

* * *

watched you. Saw you become the martyr the world needed you to be. But… you never became the lover I_ needed you to be…_

I heard my heart again. Its beating was far less frantic now. It was now slow, rhythmic, playing the melody of my own funeral dirge.

But that wasn't the only thing I heard. I faintly heard something above me, something that sounded far off… a voice? Calling my name?

But I disregarded it. It didn't matter anyway. In a few moments, nothing would matter anymore.

_Lucario… please…_

I finally hit the lakebed, the mud and sand billowing around my form. As my vision began to blur, I wistfully thought how beautiful the light looked from down here.

Feeling the numbness that attacked my body begin to worm its way into me, I closed my eyes. I let my head tilt to the side, using the sand as a pillow, allowing the darkness to overtake me.

_Take me with you._

* * *

**THE END! **_(Merrie Melodies Ending Theme Plays)_

No, no, no! That's not the ending! Don't worry!

* * *

_I suddenly broke the surface of the lake, sending its inhabitants scattering. With my free hand, I pulled myself onto the shore. I tried to get up, but collapsed. My chest labored for breath as I sputtered out the water that had made its way into my lungs._

_After my breathing returned to an acceptable level, I supported myself with two arms, letting package I was carrying roll to the ground: a small pink feline, many times smaller than I. _

_After she finished coughing up the remnants of her little swim, she groaned again as her eyes fluttered open._

_"Mew…two…?"_

_"You were expecting someone else? Prince Charming, perhaps?" I panted with a slight smirk._

* * *

Actually, yes! She was expected Lucario to either. . .come back and safe or for him to catch her as she flies into the Afterlife.

Well, anyway, here we have none other than Mewtwo, to save the day!

_(Keldeo's face fell and his eyes narrowed)_

Hold on, if the author knows about Mewtwo and the First Movie. . .then what was with the brat kid comment! Is Mew really that fickle that she'll either forget or just stop caring about the one who _saved her life?_ But to be fair, living isn't very high on her priority list anymore.

* * *

_You ruined everything!" She shook her head, turning away from me and giving slight sob before saying, "Why couldn't you just let me die…?"_

_My eyes widened. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I mean, Latias had told me that she was depressed, but I had never suspected…_

* * *

_"How dare she want to kill herself after how hard I tried to kill her in the First Movie! What a slap in the face! . . . . ._

_. . . .Also, if we're clones, then how come were different genders?"_

Now, this is Mewtwo we got here, so you might be wondering: How will this tough, stoic, emotionless, cold hearted Pokemon be able to help Mew in any way?

Well, let's check it out.

* * *

_She sighed, flipped over onto her back, and proceeded to tell me the whole story. Right from where she met Lucario to his death at the heart of the Tree of Beginning._

_"…and the worst thing is," she continued, "I never got to tell him how much I loved him."_

_"Why didn't you?" I responded._

_"I told you, my body refused to move."_

_I shook my head. "I don't understand."_

_"I didn't either, for a while. But eventually, I figured it out." Her voice trailed off as she tilted her head towards me, her eyes betraying how frightened she was. "This place, the Tree of Beginning… it's alive, Mewtwo."_

_"Alive?" I asked, my eyes widening. "How is that possible…?"_

_"I don't know," she admitted, turning her head away from me again. "But it is. It thinks, if only on a basic level. And it only has one goal: self-preservation. To it, nothing other than that matters."_

* * *

Ohhh! So the Tree _did _take over her mind! It might have been smarter to clearly tell us this before.

* * *

_"Even if this is true, how does this connect to your… immobility?" I hesitated. For some reason I could not fathom, it pained me to think about how Mew felt for Lucario. What is wrong with me? I thought. One of my closest friends is suffering, and I'm feeling…jealous? Why would I-?_

* * *

Oh come on! Mewtwo and Mew shipping? Seriously?! That's incest! Gah! Nasty! Gross! Evil! Bad! Gah!

_(Keldeo gagged loudly and shook his head, clearly disgusted.)_

Okay, moving on. . .

* * *

_She once again gazed up at the crystal-laden ceiling and started talking, snapping me out of my thoughts. "When I became the divine being I am today, I was given one single edict: 'Guard the Tree of Beginning. For if it falls, or is captured by those with wicked hearts, all things in both heaven and Earth will succumb to the Eternal Dark, should it ever rise again,'" she said, as if reciting a house rule from memory. "That's what Arceus told me, at least."_

_"'Eternal Dark'?" I inquired, my curiosity getting the better of me._

_Her eyes widened as she snapped, "Nothing! I've said too much!" Seeing my shocked look, she turned back to ceiling again, sighing. "Sorry. It's just, as a Legendary, I'm forbidden from telling mortals anything about The War of Genesis."_

* * *

Okay. . .that all sounds interesting and slightly harrowing. . .

* * *

_I was tempted to say that she had just spilled out even more information, but I held my tongue._

_"I will tell you this, though," she continued, "This Tree is not what everyone thinks it is. It may be a catalyst for divine healing spells, but that is not its primary function."_

_"If this tree isn't a place of healing like all the legends say, then what is it?"_

_"A weapon."_

_I turned to ask if she was joking, to find her already looking at me. Our eyes met, and her deep blue eyes peered intently into my own._

_"You're serious," I breathed._

_"Would I joke about something like this?" she asked, her stare not wavering in the least._

_After what seemed like an eternity, I broke eye contact. I brought one hand up to my face, massaging my forehead. "Alright," I started, "this is interesting and everything, but how exactly does this relate to the… incident?"_

_"It has everything to do with it," she said, turning her gaze upward again. "You know how I said this tree is a weapon? Well, a weapon needs ammo, right? This thing's ammo would be Aura."_

_"Aura?" I asked, unfamiliar with the term._

_"The force that exists in everything. 'Aura' is just one word for it. Aura, Chakra, Mana… all names for the same thing: an energy that is more important to life than water."_

_"…and the Tree feeds on this?" I mumbled, disbelieving._

_"Yes," she nodded. "It slowly saps the Aura from every being in the world, shortening their natural lifespan, if only by a few hours or so."_

_I looked around the room we were in. Crystals of a greenish hue jutted out of the slabs of gray rock that made up the body of the tree, each radiating their own, soft glow. But now the feeling of wonder was ruined by the thought that that very same glow was powered by the lifeblood of millions. How could anything this beautiful be so harmful…?_

* * *

_(Keldeo looks really confused)_

Okay, what story are we following? The love story? The suicide? The sacrifices? Mewtwo's comfort? The Tree? Sure, this extra stuff is interesting, but if we're not going to see what all this stuff does, like, I don't know, a flashback of the War of Genesis, or maybe see what the Eternal Dark would like, or heck! I'd like to see what the Tree Cannon Gun Weapon thing looks like when it's being fired! Is it like the Space Colony ARK Eclipse Cannon?

Well, apparently we never get to find out, and instead go back to Mew explaining everything to Mewtwo.

* * *

_"Don't you see, Mewtwo?" she sobbed. "My freedom is non-existent. Imaginary. As the guardian of the Tree of Beginning, it is my duty to protect this place… whether I want to or not."_

_I just stared on helplessly as the tears continued to flow. I couldn't imagine what her life was like, living like she did, knowing that she was only free because the Tree allowed her to. Knowing that at any moment, she could lose control, her will subdued by that of the Tree. Knowing that if the Tree willed it, she would kill anyone and anything, and she could do nothing to stop herself. I wondered idly if this was how a pokemon in captivity felt…_

_"And the worst thing is," she said, sniffling up some mucus that leaked out of her nose, "It'll never stop. I'm immortal. Immune to both time and disease. I'll be the puppet of this place forever."_

_She slammed her fist on the side of her bed, making it rock slightly. "It isn't fair! It just isn't fair! When I sought to be a goddess, I was never told that things would be like this! I was never told that my heart would break, and there would be no way to make the pain stop!"_

* * *

Uh, wasn't a dead Lucario initially the main problem?

* * *

_I scooped her up into my arms, one hand supporting her head and the other, I realized, blushing, supporting her rear, as if I was cradling a baby. In turn, she wrapped her hands around my torso and buried her head into my chest, to which I let out a small gasp of surprise. I looked down at her, but other than that, I let her be. She just looked so helpless, with her arms hugging part of my chest like a human child would a great oak. Who could've thought I had tried to destroy such a creature all those years ago at New Island…?_

* * *

Now we're focusing on _Mewtwo_? Okay, whatever!

So, Mewtwo just. . .hugs Mew for a while, and it seems to create a miraculous change in Mew that gives her a whole new outlook on life-

* * *

_"Snap my neck. Smother me in your bosom. Do something." She buried her head in my chest again, and I felt her fingers tightening into fists, as if she was in pain, her minute claws lightly scratching my skin. "If I'm going to die, I don't want to die all alone."_

* * *

_(Keldeo has a fake smiled plastered on her face)_

You know! For kids!

So of course Mewtwo goes "Heck, no!"

* * *

_"I knew you wouldn't understand. I mean, how could you?!" she yelled. "You never had anyone from the start!"_

* * *

Well that was a low blow! So low in fact that Mewtwo blows Mew to bits and- nah I'm only kidding. He actually. . .make a poetic speech?

* * *

_She hid her face in my fur again, the tears coming out anew. I turned my head away from her, absorbed in my own thoughts._

_"…I have you."_

_She froze. I slowly turned my head toward her, to find her looking up at me, both of her eyes widened in shock._

_I calmly removed the hand that supported the back of her head and placed it on her chest. Her eyes moved down to look the intruding hand, but she didn't resist._

_"Your heart is broken, is it?" I asked. "Then why do I still feel a heartbeat?" She averted my gaze, looking out toward the grass that surrounded us._

_"Why do you think that is?" I continued, looking intently at her._

_She didn't answer._

_"I'll tell you why. Because the heart…" I hesitated, lifting my free hand off of Mew's chest and onto my own. "…the heart knows something that we all forget from time to time. Would you know what that is?"_

_She looked back up at me, gazing idly at the palm that I held to my chest right above her head. But she remained silent._

_"It knows that no matter how dark the night, morning always comes," I explained, looking out into space. "That no matter what, you just have to endure until the end. That if you close your eyes forever, there is no night or day. Only nothingness."_

_I turned to her again, and she looked away. I slipped a finger under her chin, and turned her face to look into mine._

_"So just keep going. Endure. Live through this nightmare. If for nothing else… then do it for me. Because without you… my whole world would fall into darkness."_

* * *

Wow. . .really deep Mewtwo. Words to live by.

So, these words seem to completely heal Mew in an instant, _wow, _to the point that she licks him, snuggles with him, and. . .puts her butt on his hand, _what?_

* * *

_"Are you sure you want to stay in that position?" I asked._

_"Sure do," she said, her voice a lot more cheerful now. "Now just let me get comfy…"_

_With that, she started to squirm again, this time only her lower half. Her body slipped down my arm until her bum was in the palm of my hand, and with all the wiggling that was going on down there, I started to blush madly._

_After she stopped her twisting about, a wide grin spread across her muzzle when she saw the large presence of red on my face._

_"Something wrong?" she asked coyly._

_"You did that on purpose…"_

_"Did what?" she said innocently, putting a finger up to her lips and pretending to look bewildered._

_"…Nothing," I conceded, sighing._

* * *

Okay, that's it, I'm done.

So, the moral of this story is that Mew is fickle, bi-polar, and perhaps mentally insane! I mean, we have this huge crazy buildup of how broken Mew was and how crazy she felt about Lucario and how the guilt was destroying her and drove her to suicide, and then Mewtwo comes along and she's suddenly shoving his hand up her butt? And, yeah, about this shipping. Not the Lucario and Mew, the other one. Maybe being clones isn't the same as being siblings, but on the other hoof, maybe it is. I don't know. _I_ certainly don't like the idea of Mew and Mewtwo being together, I can tell you that!

And also, how fast did Mew change from depressed to happy? Did Mewtwo hypnotize her or something? Or maybe that speech he said was magic? Who knows, who cares, this story was a disappointment.

I feel bad, because the beginning was really good. It was funny and sad at the same time. It gave you so many emotions, it was just incredible. But the thing is, when it got to Mewtwo's part, it went into a downward spiral. I know this is gonna sound heartless and cruel, but this story would have been better if it had ended with Mew committing suicide.

_*GASP!*_

_(Keldeo turned to see the other Swords of Justice and Meloetta glaring at him. Keldeo's eyes went wide as he spoke in a panicked tone. He opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by Meloetta_

_Meloetta: "How can you say a thing like that! Good stories need happy endings!"_

_(Keldeo blinked at this statement. He then gained a determined look and changed into his Resolute Form. He looked the group straight in the eye as he spoke clearly and strongly)_

No, Meloetta. This is Fanfiction. You're allowed to take risks and do things the cannon would never do. You can create alternate universes and time lines where crazy things happen. You can even make dark things occur, like suicide. But you don't read or write that because you hate the character. It's to create a dramatic and heart wrenching tale that brings out emotions and feelings. The first half of this story had some of the most eloquent writing I have ever read. It had a dark theme, yes, but that was the point. A dark depressing take on a character with little backstory. Besides, we can easily assume that after dying, Mew would've immediately reunited with Aaron and Lucario in Heaven, so the ending would have been bittersweet, the best kind of ending for a dark story like.

But taking a good, deep narrative into the psyche of a heartbroken character on the brink of despair, and ending it with _this:_

* * *

_With that, she started to squirm again, this time only her lower half. Her body slipped down my arm until her bum was in the palm of my hand, and with all the wiggling that was going on down there, I started to blush madly._

* * *

just makes me sick to my stomach.

_(Meloetta frowned and looked down as Terrakion looked away in thought and Virizion and Coballion simply stared thoughtfully at Keldeo)_

I would much rather have a deep emotional story with an ending that makes me teary eyed. . . than a clichéd happy ending with a sexual innuendo. That's because while "happy endings" wrap everything up, they convince us to leave the story and allow it to fade from our memory. But open, bittersweet endings with unanswered questions stay in our minds and get us thinking about our own lives. Like what _we _would do if we were on the brink of despair with no one to help us.

Mark my words, this story will be remembered for it's first half, while it's "happy ending" will disappear from people's consciousness, also for good reason. Good stories aren't dependent on happy endings that defy all depression and trauma just to resolve everything in a Deus Ex Machina. They depend on deep character development that doesn't flip around after a simple hug.

_(Meloetta pouted a bit, then she looked up.)_

_Meloetta: "Keldeo. . .I think I should stick with happy, more optimistic stories. . ."_

_(Keldeo smiled warmly)_

No problem.

_(The group all began to leave.)_

_Terrakion: "Nice speech, kid!"_

Thanks, Terrakion. Oh, and, Meloetta! Check out _The __Pledge of a Child_.

_(Meloetta smiled back and nodded as the group left. Keldeo nodded, feeling very comfortably.)_

Well, in the end, the story is half good and half sub-par. It had good emotions in the first part that really touched your heart and made you feel something, but the second part put in questionable clone on clone romance and a complete 180 degree turn in Mew's emotional state.

I'd definitely suggest you read this, if only for the first half.

I'm Keldeo the Critic and I just reviewed a Pokemon Fanfiction!

**The End**

Performed by Keldeo of the Swords of Justice

**_Credits_**

_Nostalgia Critic- The Cat In The Hat_

_Sonic Adventure 2_

_Nostalgia Critic- North_

_Planet Fitness_

_Breaking the Chains- _AuraWielder

_Krypto the Superdog_

_Summer Part 1 Attempt 1- _FictionaryMan03895

_Old Spice_

_Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess_

_Les Miserables_

**_Special Thanks_**

_TV Tropes_

_**The comments expressed in this review are written in such a way so that negative aspects are used to create jokes. There will NOT be any bashing or ranting. Also, good things in a FanFic will be praised. Particularly bad FanFictions WON'T**** be totally thrashed, but expect to see major grievances addressed.**_

_**(This was a parody of the Nostalgia Critic by Doug Walker on That Guy With The Glasses)**_

_"he has a nice bod and a brain!"_


End file.
